My fiance asked me 2 months ago and hasn't announced it to his family or adult kids

Have you asked him why he won't tell his children?

View Quoted Comment Yes he said he wanted to tell them in person with all 3 of them together but hasn't got them together. One recently graduated college and didn't want to tell them during that. I said to call them. I am frustrated and hurt at this point.

Does he want his children approval? Do his kids not like you? I am so confused why didn't he tell his kids when he went out and got your ring?

View Quoted Comment His kids like me. I don't know and I'm super frustrated and sad.

View Quoted Comment Now he's just keeping this a secret from his kids. Rude. I'm sure they'll appreciate the fact their dad hid his engagement for weeks.


I'm honestly a bit peeved for you. It's like he's embarrassed by you. Which if he is kick him to the curb

View Quoted Comment I forgot this was months and not weeks. I'd honestly give him an ultimatum. He says he wants to get married but he's not showing any signs of wanting to. He's just strining you along it looks like.

Sit down and talk to him. If he still resists and procrastinates, end the engagement and walk away. Toxic people don’t change.

I would set a deadline. Say you are publicly announcing your engagement on X date, so needs to tell his kids before that.
Or, you could reach out to the kids and invite them all to dinner and announce it then.

It's possible he really is ready to tell them but can't get them all in the same place at an appropriate time. That's inconsiderate to you and poor planning on his part. I understand his wish to tell them in person rather than on the phone but then he should have either waited to propose or told the kids in person, separately. The one he tells first can keep it to themselves until he tells the others shortly afterward.

I'd let him know how hurtful this is to you and how disrespected you feel. What he does next will be revealing.

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Thank you so much for your reply. I talked to him and he says he will tell them soon so I will ask for the deadline end of June tomorrow since one kid is in europe for a few weeks. My fiance lives with me. I now have second thoughts because of how he handled this.

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Thanks so much for your reply. That is a good idea.

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Thank you and it definitely gives me 2nd thoughts and my fiance lives with me and it's making it tough for me to decide if we break up altogether. I really don't like how he handled this and made me feel when I kindly brought it up then eventually he yelled about it.

I’m sorry this is happening. Engaged couples want to shout it from the rooftops. Something doesn’t add up
Regarding his excuse. I encourage you to take a break and reevaluate the relationship.

View Quoted Comment He yelled about it? Girl, what?! 🚨

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It would have been one thing if you discussed and decided as a couple that you wanted to keep the engagement private and wait to tell his adult children. I can understand wanting to share the news in person. Again, if he felt that way it was very poor planning on his part. Even this is less of an issue than the fact that he's yelling at you about this when you bring it up as opposed to apologizing for not thinking it through or looking at alternatives, for example traveling to where the out of town child was in the last two months to announce. To me, that's a red flag.

How long have you two known each other? Is this the first you've seen of his temper? Not good.

I know very little about you, him, or the situation but based on what you have shared, I would give the ring back and have him move out. Two months is ridiculous. He should have told his grown children before he asked. What do his grown children have to do with your relationship anyway? He isn’t ready to be engaged and definitely not ready to be married. You deserve better

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Thank you for your answer. Yes I don't like his temper. I wanted comfort not him yelling. We have been together for 4 yrs. My dad died last yr and his temper got worse during that. I said he could have done a video call and stuff. He gets super aggressive about his kids with me. His kids like me and I like them and he is creating a problem with me and him by being like a grizzly bear parents. I'm not doing anything to take them away or anything. They're adults and I encourage them to do stuff without me. I wish he didn't treat me like this about his kids because it makes me worry for the future with him. It's also hard for me since I don't have kids or much family alive. I just wanted to be a part of his family without him being dramatic.

View Quoted Comment You should worry. With that update I don’t think you should get married. A temper even before marriage is a very big red flag. This is very likely to escalate after marriage, especially if he sees nothing wrong with his behavior and thinks he has you locked down. Alternatively, this may a sign of cold feet and his way of trying to get you to break up with him.


Do you know why his first marriage ended?

View Quoted Comment This, if he’s yelling at you, I’d have a look if that’s what you want. My best to you

View Quoted Comment This weekend was hard trying to talk to him and he yelled multiple times. He even insisted on being married 2025 when he originally said 2024. As of now we are broken up and awkward silence living together. This is very painful. I didn't do anything to deserve this treatment. The whole relationship he seems to make me wait for things and he is the one demanding and if I request things he says no it's not going to happen or no you're not going to get that from me.