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Chiara
Just Said Yes September 2023

My fiancé called off the engagement

Chiara, on August 3, 2022 at 10:38 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 7

I am 24, Italian, I have been with my American fiancé, 26, for 3 1/2 years and a year ago he asked me to marry him. We are in a long-distance relationship, we met by chance when he was on vacation in Italy. Despite Covid we always managed to see each other every 3 months. All of a sudden, he broke up with me because he says I'm not religious ( he knew that way before he proposed) because he doesn't have a good career (he has a minimum wage job despite having a bachelor's degree) and because he's tired of being in a long-distance relationship, even though he loves me he wants to experience something different. I am devastated, he had convinced me to move to the U.S. when at first I didn't want to, we were going to do all the paperwork, I work here and have good money saved up, so I wasn’t going to be a burden. I even said that if the visa stuff is too complicated He could’ve come here to live and work at my dad’s company, but he refused. Suddenly the future I had envisioned for myself with him collapsed like a sand castle. He says he has to focus on himself first, but I can't accept this situation. Should I travel to the US to talk eye to eye or should I just move one without having seen him one last time? Last time we saw each other in may he dropped me at the airport crying saying that he loved me more than anything


7 Comments

Latest activity by Julija, on August 6, 2022 at 2:59 AM
  • R
    Rockstar
    Rosebud ·
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    Oh man I so sorry for your heartbreak. You have to decide what's best for you but if it was me I would give him and yourself some space apart. In a few months if you still feel the same then maybe talk about meeting up. For now though surround yourself with loved ones and be extra kind to yourself. Whatever happens you will be happy again. Sending you the biggest hugs, all the best. Smiley heart

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  • Traci
    Expert May 2025
    Traci ·
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    I'm so sorry this has happened, I don't think I would travel to the US he might be doing something shady and it will be more heartache. Like rosebud said surround yourself with folks that will love and uplift you. Goodluck.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Aw I'm really sorry this happened to you. I would give him some space, as it sounds like he's re-thinking his life right now. Long distance is very tough on a relationship. Take care of yourself, and as others have said, surround yourself with people that love and support you emotionally.

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  • Kari
    Just Said Yes November 2022
    Kari ·
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    I am so so sorry to hear this. Like others have said, take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who care about you that are physically there. I wouldn't jump on a plane straightaway to see him though, I would give it some time and then decide. Right now I think you are a little emotionally fragile to make any big decision or confront him. Best of luck.

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  • Bailey
    Expert October 2023
    Bailey ·
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    It seems like he may be questioning his life as a whole, and I would really try to remember that. It can be so, so hard to just "leave it alone" when someone you love is leaving you, but he sounds like he needs some space, and that you two may be at two different spots in life. I firmly believe that if you are meant to be together, it WILL work it's way out. I'd encourage you to do what's best for you right now, completely separate from what's best for him. If that means going home to Italy or staying in the U.S for a while. No matter how hard we try, we cannot convince someone to stay if they genuinely want space. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you're going to make it out of this. Smiley heart

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  • Valerie
    Dedicated April 2023
    Valerie ·
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    This is completely awful. To be honest, it never works to try and talk the other person out of it. As painful as it is, do not fly out to meet face to face. It most likely will not go the way you'd hoped, and if that is the case then you'll always wish you hadn't done it. It is going to take a long time for your heart to heal. I have been there and I am so sorry you have to go through this. Smiley heart

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  • Julija
    Expert October 2023
    Julija ·
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    I am so sorry. That is awful. Closure is important to move on, but make sure you’re ready for it before you go looking for him.
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