My fiance cheated 5 weeks b4 wedding! Help

Thanks so much ladies. And extra notes: He admitted he never was going to tell me and was going to get rid of the flash drive "as soon as we got married" .... What the heck is that??

He's 43, I'm 31.. even worse that he's so old and had to do this..

I know deep down I should leave him, it's just so damn hard. This month without talking will definitely help.

WOW he sounds like some young guy...if he hasn't gotten that behavior out of his system yet he never will RUN sweetie..

Unique you are right. I know he looked back at them and ya know....

Right- of course he did, why else would he of been waiting to toss the flash drive... so wrong

I know it feels awful, I've been there and in my opinion - run. There is no such thing as a last thrill and like all the other ladies have said, you deserve sooo much better and he is out there - I PROMISE!

You have to grieve, take care of yourself, and do what's best for you in the long run.

What a jack@$$!!! His "last thrill"?!? How is being married to your best friend not thrilling? He "saw it as an opportunity that dropped in his lap and he didn't say no"! I agree with Unique, life is going to filled with lots of different opportunities good and bad and if did not have enough sense to see that this was a very bad opportunity, then he is not worth your time. You need to find someone who loves you and respects you. I'm so sorry you had to find out this way, Analy is right, you dodged a bullet. I hope you find that love in your life you deserve.

Kate you deserve so much better. You may feel like your world is at an end and you dont want to live the rest of your life alone, but dont worry there is a guy out there for you that will treat you so much better than that and have so much more respect for you. It may not seem like it now but I promise you he is out there, just like Fins said! Your right this month without talking will definately help! Just stay strong! If you need anything we are all here!

What a looser! As everyone else has said RUN!!! Things happen for a reason and you found that flash drive for a reason: to bust his cheating @ss and to leave him!

Kate, I'm so sorry. NO matter what is age, this shows his true character. Also, who knows if this is the first time since he obviously didn't hesitate at this opportunity. I know it's very hard to let go when you have invested so much, but it would be even harder in a few years with joint property, children etc. Don't make someone your priority when you are just their option.

Also, not to be presumptious, but it may be a good idea to get tested at the Drs.

"opportunity" the only opportunity that he should have cared about is the opportunity to be with you for the rest of his life and in my eyes he blew that. The lucky part of all this is that this happened before the wedding and that you found out in time. I second Sharon go see a Dr and get tested for Std's to be safe. Do not let him talk you into anything. He does not have a formed character if he could be be swayed to do something like this when offered. What else would he not say no to when offered. No hun run and run fast.

I am so sorry. This has to be horrible for you. I agree with everyone else in that most likely he did sleep with her but whether or not he did, he still had his hands on another woman's body and that is unforgivable. If he is doing this before the wedding I think he will most likely do it as time goes by. What happens when you face a rough patch in your marriage and he can't handle it, would he stray again? You deserve so much better than this. I know it is hard that he made a decision that ruined your relationship but there are great men out there that will not treat you this way and personally I feel as if he lost his chance with you when he decided to touch another woman, take photos of it (WTF...for future viewings??), and then hide it from you. He has been unfaithful and dishonest and those are two traits you do not want in a husband. Stay strong and lean on your friends and family during this time. It is best to just stop talking to him altogether.

Was this some part of a bachelor party? not that it means you should forgive him if you do. I think you should count your lucky stars that you found out now instead of after the wedding. Hurt and betrayal caused by infidelity takes a loooong time to heal and sometimes even doesn't. So...if you do decide to stay with him...there's no way you should get married in 5 weeks because he needs to prove himself to you for a very long time before you can decide whether he's trustworthy again. Good luck hun.

What a horrible thing to do. It's still cheating even if you are not married, I mean you are a couple and there is a ring on your finger. Last hurrah my butt. Trust is a hard thing to regain and that is the most important thing in your relationship. You are doing good to take time apart but you also need to think about yourself and how you will feel down the line if you do decide to get married to him. What happens if like the others have said might have picked up something from this chick and can affect your health. But the big thing is to ask if you are prepared for this to possibly happen again in the future. My heart goes out to you and I hope that you can find peace and strength and walk away from this (not from him just the situation) as a stronger person.

You will find something that is deserving of you and as others have said thank goodness this happened before you both got married. I wouldn't give him a second chance. Why would you want this trust issue hanging over your head in the future with him. Move on, it may hurt now, but you will be glad you did when you look back

I meant to say you will find someone not something...sorry.

You will find something that is deserving of you and as others have said thank goodness this happened before you both got married. I wouldn't give him a second chance. Why would you want this trust issue hanging over your head in the future with him. Move on, it may hurt now, but you will be glad you did when you look back.

Don't take him back. I hate that whole "last thrill before the wedding" ordeal. If they want that last thrill so bad, they don't need to get married. In my opinion, once you're with your soul mate, you don't want anyone else. Niether I nor my FH want anything to do with a "last thrill" We're not even having bachelor or bachelorette parties.

I would not reconcile with this loser. As much as you may love him and feel hurt, it is better you know now all of this than later and have to deal with a harsh divorce with lawyer fees and financial devastation. Good luck to you. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger and some day you will find a man that will be so grateful for this guy cheating on you because you are going to be the woman he has searched his entire life for. I always say, everything happens for a reason and you will look back at this some day and be so grateful for everything you went through.

I don't think anyone can tell you what to do. This is a decision that you are going to have to process.

I would pray about this and ask for guidance. If your heart says go follow what it says. No matter how hard it is! Your rewards will come down the line.