My fiancé is having doubts

Get the both of you to couples counseling.

You should seek couples counseling

Sounds like it's time for some couples counseling. If he has doubts, it's better to deal with them than to marry and end up divorced. However, if he loves you, wants to be with you, and is buying a house with you, he needs to explore why he has doubts about marrying you. Maybe it's just cold feet, or maybe it's doubts he's been suppressing, but he needs to figure it out.

Definitely time for counselling.

It's really good that you two are discussing and communicating. That's a strong start. Good luck to you!

I agree, counseling asap. And keep the lines of communication open. Let him know how you're feeling. And then go from there. Good luck!

What did you say? Did you tell him how you felt?

I'm so sorry. On the plus side, the fact that he feels comfortable enough to tell you this is awesome and says a lot about your relationship. I'm also going to agree with PPs that it's time for couples counseling.

I agree with everyone about counseling but I'm wondering if he's just getting scared and maybe cold feet.

I would say counseling would be great I think he's just nervous .

Counseling...IMO I don't think "it's too early" is the truth.... so I would want to get the real reason why

Counseling definetly

I absolutely suggest counseling. Separate & together.

FH & I went thru something similar. He said he wasn't sure if this was still the best thing for us. After a long talk he told me it's because of how I acted towards him & towards life in general. I wasn't the same person he fell in love with before. Turns out I was having severe depression & other mental health issues. After counseling & medication, all is well now.

Definitely have a chat about what could be causing these feelings from him. & seek counseling. I was always super against someone I don't know listening to by problems & giving advice. But turns out it probably saved us.

ETA: not saying that depression or anything is having an impact on your relationship like it did ours. I just wanted to share my experience.

Counseling. And don't worry about deposits. Worry about the situation at hand. All those deposits mean nothing if the marriage doesn't work out. If you have to loose them than that's ok!

I agree with everyone else, couples counseling and perhaps individual counseling as well. I just wanted to add I'm sorry you're going through this, I'm sending you a hug

I went through the exact same situation about 4 months ago. We halted all wedding plans, and decided to just enjoy being together and loving each other. Now, 4 months later, we've decided we will be getting married, but haven't made a decision on when or where. Give it time, give wedding talk a rest, and revisit the subject in a few months. ETA: I agree with PPs 100%, counseling will do you both good, and will help get to the root of the issue.

Like others said, counseling. Your relationship and history is too detailed for us to figure out the "why" of this on an internet forum. A therapist will be able to help you both understand why he's feeling the way he does and get to the root of it. Good luck!

I disagree with another user. While this isn't necessarily "normal" I don't think it's unusual. It's awesome that he told you and now you have a chance to work through it and uncover his anxieties. I think sometimes in general guys aren't supportive of other guys getting married. I have noticed that the rhetoric is "oh you are ready for the ball and chain" or "everything changes" etc - this freaks guys out. Women tend to be more excited and supportive. Has anybody else noticed this? So I am not dismissing his fear but saying that it's a good chance to get to the bottom of it and work together to figure out what's next.

Maybe it is just the nerves talking but I would see if couples counseling would help. If he is serious I would have a serious talk with myself and see if you want to continue but wow a house together is a huge commitment as well. I'm sorry you feel this my hunnie.

I'm so sorry I can only imagine how hurtful this must be for you.

I agree with @KSera. I don't think its rare to have doubts, especially when society tells us everything is downhill after the wedding and makes all these jokes at marriage's expense. I'll admit I've had times where I thought "Omg I'm too young for this" or "Omg what if this is a mistake."

The odd thing here is that his doubts/fears are so intense that he told you and wants to cancel plans. After 3 years, I don't think that would be fair to you. I couldn't get over something like that. I wonder if this was just an impulsive, panicked thought or if he's been thinking it consistently. Sounds like a fear of commitment since he still wants to be with you otherwise.

Anyhow Couples counseling pronto! I wish you all the best. This sounds really rough

Rebekah you can't advertise on the forums.