My fiancés child’s mother is his bestfriend.

I know this can be a hard situation for Americans especially. People in this country tend to split from their exes in a volatile way and have nothing to do with them thereafter. It is not exactly the “norm” here for couples to split amicably and remain close. I am coming from a unique perspective with my advice, because I am in a similar situation as your fiancé. My ex and I were together (and living together) for five years. We had an amazing relationship, but realized at the end that we had lost the “spark” of a romantic relationship, and had just become best friends. We ended the romantic relationship, but we have remained the BEST of friends. Not only is he my best friend, he is my family. We talk on the phone, text each other, send things via social media, etc. regularly. When there is something great that happens in our lives, we immediately share it with one another. When there is something difficult, we lean on one another. It has definitely caused some issues in romantic relationships for us in the past. But our motto is “they were here before you, and they will be here after you if you cannot support our friendship”. Truly, there is no reason to remove a great friend from your life simply because you had a romantic relationship in the past that didn’t work out. Luckily, my fiancé has been incredibly understanding and supportive. Not only that, he made an effort to meet him and forge a friendship with him as well. Now, he doesn’t even bat an eye when we speak or hang out. Has your fiancé introduced you to this woman? Have you had a chance to speak with her, hang out with her, etc.? Is there any sort of friendship that has been built between the two of you?

I think it’s great and all that your fiancé is on good terms with the child’s mom and what not since it’s what’s healthy/best for the child. However, inviting her to every single thing including plans on moving to a new state, and texting for other reasons other than child sounds like they’re crossing the line. I would not be okay with that. It’s fine that she will forever be a part of his life due to the child but there needs to be limits that must be set for the sake of your relationship. YOU should be his best friend as you are his future wife and YOU should be his priority which includes making you feel comfortable. Does not matter if they met first or not the person you end up with last/your forever/your soulmate is the person that should matter most and come first. If not, it seems they are still attached to their ex. Although there is no flirting, the deep & emotional intimacy that they share when telling eachother everything including their problems creates room for potential cheating. Cheating doesn’t just happen, it happens with baby steps and having deep emotional intimacy with the opposite sex that isn’t family is one of the steps. I would definitely rethink before going deeper into this relationship/marriage. Definitely should talk about reaching a happy compromise where there are limits set in place where both of y’all feel comfortable 💯

I have a similar problem with my fiancés ex who has a child with him. She’s married and she continues to contact him everyday about their 9 year old. I understand you have to get along for the child but I think his daughter is old enough to talk to him without her being involved in every conversation. I don’t feel like I’m jealous I just don’t see why she has to be involved with everything in fact i wish she would just leave us alone and let his daughter speak to him without her be in the middle of it all like 3rd party. My situation is different but I do understand where your coming from about the ex being involved all the time. It’s like extra baggage. If I were you I would just be honest with your fiancé about your feelings how you don’t feel comfortable with her involved in his life all the time. I don’t like my situation either I hope I’m not being unreasonable about it.