My first, his third. Help.

I'll put it this way: Yes, I had been to restaurants before, but once I went to a restaurant with my fiance, going out to eat was more special, because I was with him.

Yes, restaurants and marriage aren't a great comparison, but when he tells you it is different, and there aren't red flags, you should believe him! Some people get married too young and grow apart, some people get married even though there is a laundry list of reasons not to, and those relationships don't last for good reasons!

Your boyfriend may have been married twice, but that doesn't mean you aren't "The One" for him!

Think of it this way, the third time is the charm. He finally found the right girl that he want's to spend his forever with. Yes, he did it all before. BUT he did not do this with you. You are the special girl in his life. He want's to show you that you mean everything to him. So what he's been here and done that. He want's to make it special for you. Making sure you get everything you want that you have been dreaming of. That's what counts, he's putting in the effort to make you feel like your floating on air. Your relationship is what started all this, you came and are concurring this. He makes you happy, he loves you, forget about what he had before and focus on you two and how you do things. This is yalls day, not someone else's. Don't let the past get in the way of making it yalls day. This is your yalls moments together, don't forget that.

First off, I want to say it’s totally okay to feel the way you do. Your feelings are valid, and it’s natural to have these concerns, especially given the situation. Remember, every relationship is unique, and what you’re experiencing is a part of your unique journey.

I get where you’re coming from. You’ve been dreaming about this moment for so long, and now that it's potentially right around the corner, it feels a bit overshadowed by his past. It’s like you’re stepping into a story where you’re not the first character to play this role, and that can be tough.

But here’s something to consider: yes, he’s done this before, but he hasn’t done it with you. Every relationship brings its own set of firsts, even if they don’t seem like firsts on the surface. Your first dance is still your first dance with him. The way you both will say your vows, the experiences you’ll share, the memories you’ll create – they’re all going to be uniquely yours. Just because he’s had similar experiences in the past doesn’t diminish the authenticity and specialness of what you two have.

It’s great that you’ve been open with him about how you feel and that he understands and wants to make it special for you. That’s a good sign – it shows he’s attentive to your feelings and is committed to making your shared experiences meaningful.

You’re definitely not the only one who’s ever felt this way. It’s a tough spot to be in, but it can be navigated with open communication, understanding, and a bit of reframing of what these experiences mean to you as a couple. It will be fine!