My future mil won’t tell me what colour her dress is??

That seems pretty weird. Not sure why it would be a secret?

Not sure why it would be a secret but as long as it isn’t white it shouldn’t matter. I didn’t know what any of our parents or step-parents were wearing until they showed up to the wedding.

Not sure why it’s a secret. I’m anal about these things. FMIL asked just this Saturday what she should wear and I gave her some options. I would simply just ask her to share with you because it’s important to you and you’d like for her and your mom to stand out in a way that’s unique for them. She doesn’t need to share the dress or style but just the color so, she can have the spotlight in her MOG dress. If that doesn’t work, ask FH to maybe step in.

That’s strange but really what does it matter? I could have cared less if the MOG’s dress was the same color as mine. I also ended up somewhat matching the BM’s at my daughter’s wedding. My daughter loved my dress and so did I, that’s all that mattered.

Oh heck no. I’ve learned all too well. About two weeks into our engagement, my FMIL sent me this and said “would this be a good dress for me to wear to the wedding?”.

Turned into a HUGE fight because FH told her it wasn’t appropriate and she got very defensive (over a dress she hadn’t even bought). I would have your fiancé do some digging to find out and let him handle it.

It's weird. Aha I don't get why she can't just say it..

I understand you though, I also think that your relationship with your in laws also has a lot to do with this. For example my MIL tends to copy my style, she wanted to wear the same jewelry I was wearing for my wedding, liked the style of dresses that had small trains and has constantly made comments to my husband about how she'd love things that he buys for me or that are mine. I was a little worried when we were about 1 month away from the wedding and she still had no dress and didn't want to tell me anything. I was not trying to tell her what to wear but rather wanted to avoid her getting anything close to my dress. She ended up wearing a gorgeous champagne colored dress with sheer fabric and beading and looked lovely but she still wanted to have the same jewelry as me as well as similar hair styles and make up. I never shared my make up with her and ended up changing my hair style so I was good, but she had me on edge for a bit there.

I think it's possibly a little odd but oh well! If you're worried about her clashing, perhaps give her a photo of what your mom is wearing and ask her if she could just try to plan on something that won't clash?

Thank you I’m just confused on why it’s a secret my future sil has seen the dress which I’m confused on why she can’t include me

That’s weird. Why would she not want you to know. That’s not belong the relationship. I hope she doesn’t expect you to share all of your wedding details with her. Honestly I would be hurt

My future mother in law and I had it OUT over her dress. She actually told FH she might as well not come if shes not going to coordinate, because I sent her a picture of my mothers dress and said this is the color family you should be shooting for. When we did not give in to all of her tantrums and drama, she bought a lovely dress and sent pics of it. Just 23 more days and we will be done with all the planning and can just relax!

I am guessing white

My only concern is that she’s being secretive about it. My FMIL keeps asking me what I want her to wear and I told her it doesn’t matter to me as long as it’s not blue (bridesmaids) or white. You’re not going to be able to control the attire of your guests but it’s odd that it’s a secret. The only gown that should be a secret is yours!

It's really none of your business what color her dress is. It doesn't matter if it "clashes" with your mom, they probably won't even be in any pictures together. She can wear whatever she is comfortable in. You need to let this go.

View Quoted Comment I wasn’t asking her to be nosy I just wanted to feel included as she claims it’s a secret but my sil knows and of course it’s everyones choice what colour they want to wear I’m not trying control anyone..

I don't know if your SIL would tell you, and I'm not suggesting you ask her about the dress due to it possibly causing problems, but maybe ask her if she could just tell you if it's white or not. That would be my only concern. I don't get why she wouldn't want to show you either, that's just weird. For the record, it is kind of your business. You will be taking pictures together and lots of couples take group photos with both sets of their parents. So it is nice to match

That's not normal at all. She seems like she's planning something. My FMIL joked constantly about wearing white. And lets just say I will have red wine on hand to make sure that her possible white dress changes color quickly.

No I'm kidding, but she will be removed until she changes

View Quoted Comment I dunno, I like the red wine idea lol

My mil sent me a dress she was thinking about buying, very beautiful long almost white dress. Obviously some thoughts came into my head but we JUST started to get along. She was against me from day one(his whole family was) but now she’s calling me daughter and being super nice to me and I can’t mess it up by saying she’s gonna be the only one wearing something so light colored since everyone else knows not to. My FH knows how she is, she’s a little competitive I mean, when I brag about him to her she brags more like, outbrags me lol I ignore it I know how she is so I let it slip and I’m going to let the dress slip to, if she did something crazy or off theme or anything it wouldn’t look bad on me, it would look bad on her. As long as she’s dressed appropriately I’m going to let her wear what she wants, I’m not risking our future relationship over a dress. She would definitely hold it against me. I hope y’all can sort it out!

Is your wedding really more than a year away?