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Just Said Yes September 2020

My groom wants a very expensive wedding band?

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K, on May 25, 2020 at 8:59 PM

According to google, the average men’s wedding band costs between $300-$500. I hear of so many brides saying they got their men’s wedding bands for even under $300. Is it wrong for me to be upset that my fiancé wants a $1200 luxury brand ring? He’s a little fancier/likes luxury items, so I am not surprised. He had showed me the exact one he wants. My ring isn’t the ring of my dreams, but I love it because he custom made it just for me. It is a $5000 ring just under 1 karat. I suggested I could custom make one just for him (knowing even that will be a lot cheaper) like he did mine, and he reluctantly said “fine” but I know he’s disappointed. He doesn’t seem to think it’s fair mine cost so much while his could be only $500. He says he really wants the luxury one, but doesn’t need it, yet still seems dissatisfied. What should I do? Am I being unreasonable or is he being a little immature? I really didn’t want to spend an arm and a leg because we aren’t wealthy.

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24 Comments

Master October 2020
Margaret · on May 26, 2020 at 2:47 PM
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$1200 is not bad for a men's ring. Have you tried to google the ring style and see if you can find the same ring for less? I found my wedding band and my FH's dream wedding band on ebay for 1/4 of the retail store prices. They are identical in every way, except it doesn't come with the retail store price tag.
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VIP March 2015
Nefetera · on May 26, 2020 at 5:47 PM
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At this point I would just get him what h wants...you dont want to customize a ring and it dont come out how he dose not want it to be. See if maybe you can do layaway. 5000 alot for a ring that not of your dreams. But it will work out
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VIP March 2015
Nefetera · on May 26, 2020 at 5:48 PM
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Ok so this makes more sense you cant afford it then yest talk with FH and i know you guys will work it out to get a ring thats doable for now
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Laura · on January 5, 2024 at 3:51 PM
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If a man wants an expensive-looking ring, then no problem! There are lab-created diamonds, Moissanite, and a plethora of other man-made stones that look just as fabulous, if not better, than the expensive (mined) ones! If he wants platinum? As him if he can live with white gold? If he insists on 24K gold, remind him while it's beautiful, it's soft (and can easily dent and bend) and would 14K gold do the same thing for him?
If he's not amenable to any of these cost-saving options, and neither of your budgets can afford the bougie ring of his dreams, then perhaps you should reflect on WHY the expensive ring is so important to him. It might just be the red flag you need to see before making a lifetime commitment to someone who is so materialistic that you'll never be able to get ahead financially in life.
It may start out small....an expensive ring. But what about the best car? New car every year, no doubt! Kids? Only the best private schools will do (when your local public school is also great!). What about that huge house that you don't really need? Can you live with a 2400 square foot house instead of the 5000 square foot monstrosity that you KNOW you cannot afford to keep up!
My husband is fine with not wearing a band, but he does for special occasions when we go out. I bought him a lovely 14K white gold band 37 years ago, and it's unfortunately uncomfortable for him to wear. He now wears a $35 silicone ring, engraved with a special phrase from me . . . and the sentiment is exactly the same. He's happy, I'm happy. No one really CARES how much your ring costs!!!!
Shiny jewels and metals don't make a happy marriage. Hard work and sacrifice do.
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