My husband messages women on Facebook. Is this acceptable?

I would say if it makes you uncomfortable, no matter what the subject of the messages are, he should stop.

If he has female friends, fine - you guys can ALL get together for drinks and talking.

If it make you uncomfortable, and it clearly does, he should stop as he is putting his feelings above your own and the "friendship needs" of these women above you.

It doesn't sound like he's doing anything objectively wrong and it's not reasonable to ask a spouse to give up his friends. He's communicating with his friends, who happen to be women, not cheating on you. However, it sounds like it's really bothering you, so I think the two of you need to have a calm conversation about it where you can both explain your views and really listen to each other. You may have to reach some sort of compromise so that he can still communicate with his friends without you feeling disrespected by it.

Wow! I totally agree with you! I understand Kahlcara's perspective but I believe that it is wrong for the very essence of it disturbing you. You brought it to his attention and took him to counseling and he still doesn't understand why you are upset? There has to be more to this that meets the eye. It's not just about him having friends, it's about him pursuing new friends consistently regardless of your feelings. You really need to make him understand how this is hurting you. Instead of him having conversations online often with his new friends, is he putting the same time and effort into building up your marriage? Marriage is alot of work and I always remember the concept of making deposits and withdrawals within a relationship. The more withdrawals he makes, the emptier the bank account (marriage becomes). Please talk to him and help him see that he can have friends but his friendship with you is number one priority.

What kinds of conversations are they having? Is he someone that makes friends really easily and is just very social? Does he ignore you?

I understand that you may be bothered by this, but you may have to consider that you're overreacting. Without knowing the nature of the conversations, it's hard to say what's going on for sure. It sounds to me like you have reason to distrust him, and if that's the case, I'd say you two need to have some couples counseling (I'm not sure if that's the specific counseling you've already referred to or not) to get to the root of the problem. It is unreasonable to ask him to stop talking with his friends, but if it bothers you this much, I would think that either you have reason to suspect him of cheating, or you are very insecure. Either way, I believe the two of you need to talk to a third party that's not an internet forum.

You should discuss about this matter with your husband. Hope he will understand everything and never will message that guy.

My opinion of this would depend greatly on the subject matter in the conversations. If he is swapping recipes and talking about nothing exciting, then sure fine, he is friends with women, no biggie.

If he is having inappropriate conversations...UM NO!

Ok come on we all know what this is and it's not innocent. He's a flirt and he should be spending all that time and energy on you not other women. You're not wrong

The idea that a married person shouldn't have opposite sex friends is absolutely abhorrent. Your husband is allowed to have platonic female friends.

Does he do the same with male friends? Are you just upset that he is messaging other women because you feel you should be the only woman he's allowed to have a conversation with, or is he ONLY messaging other women and you are uncomfortable by the fact that he goes out of his way to make connections with women in a way he doesn't with other men? Those are two VERY different things.

What are the conversations like?

Are they business related? Do they seem flirtatious?

Regardless - if something is bothering you/making you upset, then it's something that should be discussed and a solution should be found for it.

It depends. What is the nature of the conversations? Is he flirting? Do the women flirt with him? If they do, does he shut it down or go along with it? Does he also chat with men he adds on Facebook? These are all definitely factors.

Personally, I have trouble understanding this point of view (what are bisexual people supposed to do, just never have friends?), but if it bothers you then he definitely should be listening and trying to understand how and why you feel this way. Is going back to counseling an option? Whether you are "right" or "wrong" your feelings are valid and deserve to be considered by your husband.

Nip it in the butt asap!!!

I left because of this. I live with my mother and sister. Now I have filed for divorce and am studying various issues about divorce - https://lawrina.com/blog/how-long-does-an-uncontested-divorce-take-in-ny/ . First, you need to think it over and consult a psychologist.

Just as it would not be ok for a husband in pre-Facebook days to write letters to other women, so also in Facebook days, it is equally wrong for a husband to be using it to message other women. It's the same thing.