My Husband’s Friend is Getting Married The Day Before Our 1 Year Anniversary

I agree with what Sarah said!

It's hard keeping up with everyone's special dates when wedding planning. Once we set our date, we were told that it was the same day as my FH's cousin's birthday. Even though that's the case, we aren't changing the date since we had already booked our venue. I don't think it was out of spite that they chose that date (judging by what you said about her always wanting to be married on that day).

I'd attend the wedding and celebrate them, have fun!!

Sounds like the date was IB's fiancee's choice, not his. Highly doubt his first thought was that's my best friend's anniversary weekend, we should change the date. As Sarah said, enjoy the wedding, do something with your husband on your anniversary and pick a different weekend for a babymoon getaway!

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but people don't think about other people's milestones when they pick a date. It sounds like she liked August 14, 2021 for her wedding so that's what she picked. I highly doubt either one of them really considered your anniversary when selecting that date. We got married three days before my grandfather's birthday and he didn't care one bit. My brother got married the weekend of my sister's 21st birthday and she didn't care. I think you are letting your hormones (which I totally get as I am also currently pregnant) and dislike for this woman cloud your judgement. Also, being that you are going to be 8 months pregnant I would just have your husband go to the wedding. You shouldn't travel unnecessarily that far into your pregnancy.

As PP mentioned they may not have been thinking about your first anniversary. My best friend got married 5 years ago and my wedding is planned 2 days after her anniversary. I completely forgot about her date until she had mentioned it was close to her anniversary date.

To us it was about what date did the venue have open on a Saturday in the Summer, and that is what was available.

"we’re really thinking if we should just give up our one year anniversary/Babymoon for this wedding just so he can be the Best Man"

I don't know why you have to give up on anything. First, does your husband want to be best man in this wedding? And does the wedding involve travel? It's OK for him to go without you if you don't feel up to traveling. I understand being disappointing about maybe having to celebrate your anniversary on a different date if your husband has to travel for this wedding, but whenever you celebrate, it will be special.

And as far as a "baby moon", there's no required timeframe for taking a vacation before your baby arrives, so one wedding shouldn't impact that at all.

Edited to add: for perspective, think back to when you were planning your wedding. Imagine how you would have felt if your best friend said she couldn't come because she wanted to celebrate her anniversary instead, which wasn't even the same date as your wedding?

DH's cousin got married the same weekend we did, one year later. They were actually supposed to get married in October, but with COVID, they changed their plans and eloped only a few days before our anniversary.

We had fun ribbing his cousin about knowing what it was like (it was a Zoom wedding), reminiscing about our wedding while waiting for the ceremony to start, and just having fun.

On the flip side, we nearly got married on some of our friends' anniversaries, simply because there's a cluster of them, and only so many available dates.

You get a day.

Honestly? I only remember most anniversaries because they pop up in my memories on social media. (And my dad and stepmom got married before social media, so this is awkward for all 3 of us, because *none of us remember the exact date*.)

There are only so many days in the year. Eventually, some of the anniversaries/birthdays/celebrations will overlap.

Echoing what everyone else has said that it's likely she isn't even aware that it's your anniversary... nor should she care to be honest.

When we initially got engaged of course everyone wanted to know when we planned to get married, to which I would respond, "October 2021." I was shocked at the number of people (some kidding, some not) who made comments like "oh not the 15th because that's my birthday" or "well I'll be out of town for work the last week so don't do it then." My mom even pointed out that my nephew's birthday is the 8th and I better not pick that weekend because he gets upset whenever the attention isn't on him for his birthday. It was absurd! I ignored all of it and we picked a date that worked for us and our venue. If someone can't come or is offended that it's on their birthday, I literally couldn't care less.

You are going to have many anniversaries (hopefully). Sometimes other events will fall on them. Sometimes you might be so caught up in life, especially now that you're starting a family, that the day might bypass and you barely even notice or have time to celebrate. This year, celebrate a little early or a little late. It's ultimately not the date that matters, it's your marriage.