Married life well I can say it truely is a unique journey that you have to take on with the right person. These days marriage sometimes isn’t considered the scared one time important decision it was in the last. People give up on each other I know the divorce rate in my county in Illinois is really high. These days true love and that all in life time commitment is rare. You don’t see that traditional family that is so unbreakable that absolutely nothing and no joke it’s been a a huge learning curve to be a wife. You obviously know who you marry but you don’t really know to you go through it. My mom taught me growing that there is one special person for you when you find them you know she said if someone doesn’t want me it’s fine god makes someone for every one you’ll feel she told me I’d know but to be honest I though she nuts and crazy and rolled my eye because before Dan no one understood me or accepted for everything i am. I really thought I was too broken and too much for people becuase im am honest a tad weird and hard to get. I have a way of of getting through life with my ADHD especially that makes it hard for people to deal with it. People came but went I frustrated them or shut down or you know ADHD no joke forgot to text back my whole life I played catch up I’d say been so long catch up so what have you been up to. To be honest I just forgot to reply. My mom always told me she wished I had some close friend like sisters because her and my dad couldn’t be around for forever. And you know she wasn’t trying to be rude looking back I didn’t realize til Dan really came and talked to me I mean he truely just swooped in when I needed him like magic. I thought after my trip to California I was just casually helping some one in my support group and you know maybe we’d be able be close on group or be friends. But it wasn’t he said he needed to talk to me becuase he was having trouble and being we both have bipolar disorder I’d understand. At the time he used me because I was close I mean I never though my future husband would one block away recognize my house my small red smart car and you know be the one person that gave everything I consider important now! He even knocked at the door when I was home and gave my mom a book to read to help her help me and gave me papers to read. To be honest I knew nothing about handing and living with what make me unique. I had no skills to help myself and looking back super needy and kinda honest embarrassed and shy of who I am. I spend a lot of time with my mom and just alone doing well what I know just call my “squirralgirl thing”. Because everyone before got frustrated or gave up or I just forgot to reply o just took as a sign maybe I’m too much for people even my before him used to joke grow up Beth I would I am I went to work. No one understood my kiddies like interest but then on the flip side masters in analytical Chemisty. I love to color and draw and play pretend uno with elephant sometimes but then no joke on the other end I have 500 numbers of pi and can do advanced chem and calculus. I was either an airhead or acting dumb. Even my sisters would make joke I would never grow up. And I took it I started to hide and chose one smart or fun. Both confused people it was impossible. But like a miracle Dan who to be honest haven’t talked much before my trip knocked at my door becuase I was close and needed me. My dad told him I’m in California and gave him my number. And my didn’t know him he never just instantly give prove info to people he doesn’t know but he did for Dan and I didn’t care because from the start he said wow you weren’t ignoring me when you gave it to walking dazy while on your run I though you did it because you didn’t like me but you smiled in group at me I was confused it was an instant connection. He asked when I came back if we could and needed it I’d understand and I’m close I told him my flight was late he anywhere let me know my flight was late and like I said I’m his crazy squirralgirl well on top of my flight being late I rush packed my bag before flight and couldn’t fine my at the time smartcar key. I didn’t tell him I stupidly well lost my key to my smart car! I mean it should have been home because the car wasn’t even there! I called Annie at 230 am she said oh you left in my room I threw in the bag. Well god bless Annie it was right there! I called Dan at 3am he answered I said still up for dennys? He said yeah I told him sorry my flight was late. We did go and man we in a booth I know the exact one in my head because it was where he came into my life and we talked til the sun came up. We look out the dennys window as the sun came up. I tried to be normal for him I wanted to help him becuase peope told me I was kinda a pain so being helpful made me useful and took away some the bad stuff. But you know he saw me somehow I talked fast I know I’m hyper and energetic and weird I’ve hear it all crazy nuts grow up and Beth why are you wanting all this kiddie stuff grow up. Well to be honest it’s what I’m like to do my Brian just naturally goes for coloring and games and running around acting silly I have this huge inner child I me that seriously never left. It still here today and I have a 4 year old who has all my interests I mean she wants all my stuff. And my husband Dan says Beth I love you the way you are I was nervous about being a mom bipolar and ADHD and all the comments and criticisms that people had I never thought I’d be a wife or a mom. But Dan said that’s my strength and to use it I love every part of you and she will too. Be who you truely are and you’ll be a great mom everyone else just did t matter he and my future daughter would appreciate me for who I am. Now that’s good advice I know but it was true. I kinda grew into motherhood learned as I went. But when my daughter was a new toddler and started to grow into her self I did too. She is so special Faith is a miracle. Dan named her because he I was his fate and I was his everything I mean I’m hyper he’s clam I love to talk and just be out doing something he likes home he say sometimes he needs the quiet space and he always tells me calm down slow down we can watch a movie or lay down he says I don’t have to be constantly entertained. Well before him I would go to target just get out alone I mean it was kinda pointless but now I do appreciate the down time I still obviously love being out and having fun and idk why and it’s my ADHD thing but my brain goes at night. I’m his opposite he loved his schedule and his bed time and he says if I want to do something later he needs sleep I can miraculously sleep next to him and not let my squirrels brain just go! Before him I’d just stay up becuase my brain would get thoughts and I just had to pursue them. It was a running joke with my close immediate family and well anyone who well hung out with that I was up at night and never slept. I no joke can take every med and my still goes. But Dan he can turn it off. I love sleeping next to him he makes me feel safe and idk honest why or how but he slows my night owl ADHD brain down and I sleep! And well I love it. I mean we aren’t in the honey moon phase. As we are truely in this marriage know after all this time and yes we argue and sometimes before bed it isn’t perfect but mad or happy in any mood is always choose him. I’d come home to him on the worst or the best I mean marriage is a major commitment sickness and in health death do us part do you promise to have to hold forever til you pass to have this person by your side through absolutely anything that happens in life o mean before him I didn’t even wanna leave my dad car insurance policy when he offered to help o told him I’d have him handle it! But I would walk down that aisle I wouldn’t change a thing about him or my wedding day I would keep every even the worse of the worse we’ve seen on our married life journey. I used to think arguing was bad and yeah it is I hate it Dan does too. But you know perfection just doesn’t exist you’d be looking for the impossible trying to find a person that is perfect for you! But you know bad this only with him and my our precious toddler. I learned in married life that it’s give and take. Arguing isn’t always bad either yeah it’s no fun and we’ve had it out sometimes and unfortunately sometimes like anything in this work people over hear or assumed just judge because they don’t know the whole story. They hear one part and assume worse case. Well Dan will attend he loves me but I’m annoying sometimes he always says he need a minute becuase he hair tired or need his little bit of alone time to do his own thing because we definitely have different personalities and interests. But I learn from every rough patch we have and you know I’ve leaned to really just lay attention and try to see his side and mine. I mean our married life no where near perfect or what people say but after all this time and up and downs from pregncay to my now 4 year old daughter. We’ve grown in our own special way only me and him can see. I’m so much to have my my polar opposite a name we both love because honestly I was an absolute mess before him I was just getting by on my inner child and working when i had to but I was always alone and misunderstood I’ve had some to say the least not so great experiences and I was kinda selfish and needy and in his words not self sufficient I used to ask people to handle the scary stuff in life for me because I thought i couldn’t handle it. But Dan he had his own life experiences I can’t get into all his private info but keep in we both have bipolar disorder we also have opposite types and it’s hard to understand someone else’s mental health. It’s not like a broken bone you can you can’t see your thoughts. It’s complicated because we both we a bit misunderstood or judged a bit in our life’s. My husband loves tattoos and piercings and he love shoes he loves matching to his clothes usually in black or red. It’s his favorite! On our wedding day he wore a red suit and honestly he look so happy when he saw me walking down that aisle to him. T be honest and he’d attest I go for easy and comfort I could care less if I match and I just run out the door he legitimate gets rid of my overused sandles and shoes when the have holes and just are worn out. But he know me so he gets me slipper shoes that look real but no holes he told me now I don’t have to wear slipper to be cozy these are both shoes and slippers they are pink and furry and that’s my favorite color. I’ll admit my fury pink sandals stick out but he doesn’t care he loves me for everything and mean no joke everything about even I’m annoying or talk fast or whether I’m a absolute pest trying to get him to do something fun with when I’m bored. But I feel the absolute same way about him. I think married life isn’t something you can ask another married couple hey what will we expect when we’re what will it be like I mean how to you handle married life when that person in your space or always there and you can’t figure how to truely take 2 people and put them in one place. But me and him we are 2 but we rally are 1. He’d do anything in this world to make me happy and I’d do absolutely anything for him I could go on for hours another all ways I love and well every couple is unique but me and Dan I truely think god above saw me alone giving up the worlds because to be no one can keel up with my crazy rapid fire brain or turn my super blurt out idea do what he can. He slows me down and he no joke can see my brain. He sometimes sees in going to have a problem before I do after we had faith he told me I was slipping and needed to redo some meds for the sake of us. He said he wants me at my best and to go he had faith and after pregnancy it’s good to get rechecked anyway. And he was right but he saw it first. I also know he needs me too I always tell him me he needs alone time because well everyone needs self care but I can tell when he just need to stay or do something on his words dorky or turn on my squirrelgirl mode to make him laugh. I love how he mellows me out lets me slow down but my inner what people said was childish ways he adores he says Beth your a dork! Your really gonna wear that in public you don’t match! But he doesn’t care I’m his he’s mine. He love me for everything nobody else can see and I can see past dans what other people would assume is a sang of being rough with tattoos and piercings. I mean I love that when people see us we look like polar opposites some people say it doesn’t make since because I’m usually in something dorky and he has matching Nikes his piercings and his tattoos but I love that he challenge me and man I know I challenge him I used to take some of his words the wrong way and think he’s being mean or hates me or just wanted me to change. But even though he’s not perfect he my perfect he is my best fiend my person my miracle that honestly I never saw coming from the start he slept on my futon with broke spring because I was hiding high what we say at the time and something that I’ll never forget because this truely changed me into a wife and a mom that I could never be with any in this entire galaxy like Dan! My squirral girls nest was just high lofted bed from Walmart that was super bad I got ironically because of broken spring in my futon now that nest is the beginning our married like how I got have my unique and special daughter named faith that he chose after he felt about us and our story. One day I when my daughter is old enough I am so excited to tell her all her dad and our story I’m especially excited for when she is old enough to truely understand her the special significance behind her name because when I see her I see our journey our married life and how god saw me dwindling and giving up and he sent someone he knew would be my person my best friend the one person who can understand
my rapid fire on the go always moving well me! I knew I’m annoying in my moms word your not everyone’s cup of tea but if me and Dan were tea and I was to describe our married life journey so far I’d say he’s be spicy hot with surprise kick at the end he is so strong and protective of his little family me and faith really are his everything I see pieces of only I can see and I’d be that obnoxious bright pink tea that is so bright and maybe you wanted some sugar but now it all stuck at the bottle becuase you accidentally put too much in. He’s take my obnoxious hyper sugar overload tea and I’d always take that spicy tea with that kick that maybe some people would say is too hot to drink. Married life is well not what I expected not fairy tales life is ups and downs and unpredictable you see what’s coming up ahead sometimes you just take the all the good and all the bad and handle it together and you yell or fight or you talk and work together I mean to say the least we our each other true loves what I struggle he excels at and I help him with his struggles too ones that he can’t handle and without me can’t see it from dorky childish habit of making everything into a positive. Married life is something you can’t ask your parents or another couple for advice because honestly and I have tried I loved Dan is such uniques special way and he is the same with me! We even let our daughter be unique and special too we want her to truly be herself even if other might Jussie becuase to be honest we’re a unique family that on paper maybe doesn’t see make sense or fit but as long as I have Dan by my side and faith with us I’m ok. I know no matter what Dan and faith are my everything and we may have unique marries life and no we are far from perfect and we are each other biggest frustrations sometimes but I love it because then we both grow and learn and fill in what each other needs. Faith will someday know everything I wrote in the married life update plus of more personal dorky stuff about why she’s in this world. Faith is way more than a name I’m so lucky on this crazy scary sometimes not so nice works god send me me special someone when I was ready and needed it. I would define everything in my experience with this crazy amazing and the probably one of the most frustrating things I took on in my life but married when your with the one person who completes you that fills in missing pieces need frustration it makes me stronger and I get better at being a good wife and mom and he’s the same way. You can’t grow in married life with being each other biggest frustrations becuase then we’d never grow or learn or be able to raise our amazing daughter! I hope life is always just with Dan because my mom said my dad would be by her side forever he wasn’t just my he hers too. Dan makes me see that I truely hope me and Dan are old and gray in rocking cheers laughing and still challenging each other when we’re old and our kid have found their special someone. I hope she gets what I got from my mom and I want her to be old dashed in my moms words and find her special someone too. Married life has been my absolute no question favorite journey and commitment I took on in my life because I was lucky to find my miracle because not everyone does in these days the world is different now!