My mom got married

Wow. That's horrible. I don't even have advice for you on that. I'm so sorry that happened!

Wow. That's wild. You have every right to straight up ask what's going on. That's just not right.

If it was anyone else I wouldn't do anything but this is your mother. So disrespectful and rude. I would send her a snarky message saying since I wasn't important enough to attend her wedding she will not be allowed to attend mine.

I think I'm odd man out there.

If you were not close then it really doesn't matter. I am not of the opinion that just because you give birth to someone means you like or love them. Or just because someone is your parent means you like or love them.

She showed you where you stand in her life. It's okay to be upset, but move on. You'll be better for it. ( I would also seek therapy.)

This is coming from someone with deep deep family issues.

I am sorry OP that sucks! I didn't read the other comments but having a rocky relationship in the past with my mother I learned one thing...confront confront confront...in a polite but stern way. My mother used to think she could do/say whatever she wanted to me and I would feel terrible for it. No more. I call her out when needed and let her know I won't be a door mat.

Lots of luck and ((hugs)).

If it were me, I'd say a lot of words that I'm no longer allowed to write here on WW.

Sorry this happened to you.

OP I am not sure if I can give you any advice on how to respond to her but, I have been in your shoes. My sisters and I all grew up without our mother. She lived about 3 hours away and we had an acquaintance type of relationship with her. A few years ago, my sisters and I found out that my mother had gotten married to her long time boyfriend. They had a full wedding 2 years prior to us finding out. It was very hurtful and surprising. That was my mother though. She didn't regularly include us in her life. I still included her in my wedding and when I had my daughter, she was there. Unfortunately, she passed away about 1.5 years ago but, I do not regret involving her in my wedding and life although she excluded us in hers.

View Quoted Comment Mmmm okay. Yea I would still be hurt though. I would most certainly try and communicate those feelings to her.

This sounds awful! I am sorry that this was done to you. I would definitely ask her why you were excluded from this event. Jus be honest on how you're feeling.

Now that you’ve heard what she had to say and you still feel you were excluded intentionally, I would recommend confronting her further. It does not resolve anything to keep your feelings bottled up. Her actions hurt you and instead of being passive aggressive and just not inviting her to your wedding, she should know how you feel. Sometimes it’s best to even argue a bit because bottling it up will damage your relationship more than just getting your feelings out now.

No offense, but your mom sounds like a flake. Being engaged and married twice in a three month period does not sound like good decision making. So realize that her life choices might not be the best. That being said, I would also be pretty hurt to not even rank as a person to be notified. I would definitely discuss my feeling with her, but I don't think immediately is in either of yours best interest. I would give it a few days a week or two.

Dear Pink Milk:
I am so sorry that you were left out. I know first hand how painful and hurt you were. My own mom did something similar to me about my involvement in her wedding and I was very hurt. She and I never discussed it for years, but when we did, it turned out she had no idea how hurt I had been about the situation. We ultimately mended our relationship and it was fine up to the day she passed away. Life is too short to hold grudges and I'd give anything in the world to have her back, but it's too late.
Here is another perspective:
As a mom of two estranged adult (30-ish) children: a son and a daughter (4 years estranged), I actually do respect a bride's or groom's decision to invite or not invite whomever to their special wedding day, including the parent's. Being the rejected parent is so unbelievably painful including crying daily for about two years. It's worse than the death of a child. Therapy helps me cope, but the sting of rejection haunts me daily. My son married almost two years ago and I was not included in the planning nor invited to the wedding. Now my daughter is to soon marry and I am not informed of the wedding date. Both children's engagements were learned about through social media, not a personal phone call or note which was also hurtful. I am not an abusive parent with toxic habits. Our estrangement is the result of the children feeling betrayed because they were not informed early in life that their sister didn't share the same biological father. They all grew up together and this happened more than 35 years ago. Their father and I have been divorced for more than 20 years. The sibling issue should not affect them, but nonetheless, they feel betrayed and I feel they have taken up an offense for their father, the victim. I would give anything to be in my children's lives again. That said, I won't push myself into their lives. I want to be around people who want me around not just putting up with me because I am their mom. All people should surround themselves with other people with whom they feel good around, loved, and who support them.
All that background is to ask, since my children have chosen to exclude me from their lives, should I take the high road and invite them to my own upcoming wedding? Thoughts?

I'd be upset too. That's incredibly inconsiderate and rude to you, especially since you helped with the last one.

Take some time to cool off and then reassess the situation. In my honest opinion, I'd probably exclude her from my wedding, and if she gets upset you can point t the fact that she did the same exact thing.