My mother hasn't met my future husband

What a mess. I feel for you and your fiancee and soon to be step child!

i’d invite my mom and hope it begins new tidings for my family.

I would invite her and allow her to make the decision regarding her attendance. Even though she doesn't support your relationship, she may still want to be present for you, if nothing else.

She may surprise you and show up. Invite her because I'm sure she would hate missing this moment.

I wouldn’t invite her but that’s just me.

This is a very personal decision. How is your relationship with your mother outside of this situation? I personally wouldn't invite anyone to my wedding who has no interest in meeting my FW. You don't get to disrespect my relationship for 5 years and then show up to celebrate it. That's not how it works.

I would invite her and it will be up to her to show up. I know for a fact that my parents won’t be able to attend my wedding but I still send them an invitation.

We were very close, I would do alot for her and contribute to the household alot. She hated we I started dating again. And when she found out my fiancee had a son she instantly wrote it off. She doesn't have any other reasoning to not like him aside he has a son.

I would consult you FH with this. She is rejecting him and his son, he might not want her to be there. If you do decide to invite her you all should sit down and hash this out first, make sure she will not cause a scene at the wedding. It will be 10x more awkward if she has to meet the groom at the wedding.

Her stance seems completely irrational and negative. Consider giving her the choice of either agreeing to meet FH together before the wedding OR not being invited. It still puts the choice in her hands. I worry that if she DOESNT agree to meet before and is still invited, she will show up and create drama. “Oh, I’ve never even met him! “You haven’t?! Why not!” ...to anyone who will listen. If she’s capable of acting how she has been for the past 5 years, she’s probably capable of causing a scene or spreading poison.

I would just treat her like a guest. Invite her, but no special MOB treatment.

This is my primary worry. We tried to "talk like adults" about this situation and all she could say is "I don't like the guy" and nothing more. My FH and I's worry is she would cause a scene, and we don't want that kind of possibility of negativity on our special day. What I'm conflicted with is Yes, I'll always be her daughter and she will always be my mother. But where is that line where "ok, that's enough" She's managed to rope in a few other family members that have no longer wanted to be a part of my life... it saddens a great deal because I love my family, but I love my FH and his son. #OMG #feelstuck

I would invite her and hope she shows up & makes an effort to be supportive of you both! This could be a new beginning or the final straw, but it’ll be up to her and how she handles it.

Congrats on your wedding & new family! The health & happiness of you & your husband (and son) are now top priority. This change can be bittersweet for some parents but it’s how life is. For you, enjoy the celebration!!! 🎉 ❤️

View Quoted Comment Me neither. I feel like it might be unnecessary stress and drama.

I would invite her. Put the ball on her court. If she doesn't come that's on her. It sounds like mom is jealous of FH bc of him getting all the attention and you not being able to help her as often. But that's her problem not yours. Try not to let her steal your joy. Hugs

My uncle who I saw always as a father did the same. He didnt come to our engagement party and spoke about my husband behind our back to my mom. He made it very difficult but I invited his family. He didnt show up but I did my part in trying to start fresh. There's nothing to do but try to do your part. If the other person still refuses I think that's the time to move on. Good luck, your day will still be just as beautiful

Hi Jeanne! I am sorry to hear you are going through this with your mother. Have you talked to her about this recently since your engagement? Perhaps your soon-marriage will change her perspective about the situation.

View Quoted Comment Why did she hate when you started dating again?

did she hate it before she found out about the son?

if so it sounds like something else is going on with her personally and it has nothing to do with the son... like, maybe anyone you dated would be an issue.

i could be wrong, but maybe she feels like she is losing you?

View Quoted Comment As soon as she found out he had a son, she wanted me to look elsewhere. I was talking to a man that was in a much better place but had never been marries, but he made better money. I fell for my FH because I had never met a man that loved someone more selflessly than himself.... that is what my heart wanted, wanted selfless....
She didn't ever ask bout dates, made more demands of me and when I met those demands and still working fulltime and having time to go on dates, she would get more angry, and then would try to put cerfews on me.... it became ridiculous...

I'm going through the same thing: my parents want nothing to do with my wedding because of my choice of spouse. But I invited her to my bridal shower (declined harshly) and to the wedding (pending an RSVP). I am able to sleep at night knowing that she is the one making the decision to not attend, not me. I would invite her so that way it's a weight off of your shoulders. She may decline but again, that is on her not you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Stay strong!

Do you worry that she would choose to come to cause a scene???