Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes August 2019

My mother is making my wedding about her...

Flag
Hide content

Karen, on September 9, 2018 at 2:19 AM

So my mother has been on my tail making all the calls. I've only been engaged for a month and I've cryed because of her way too many times already.... she keeps saying money's am issue, yet I dont want a big fancy wedding, shes the one who's making the guest list huge with people I dont have to have there, shes the one who wants the ranch that's so expensive to be at, she wont let me get my dream dress, and all my fiance and my ideas are not good enough in her mind. Shes saying money is an issue so we need to wait to get married for like 2 years, well mt fiance and I want to go to this crawling trail called rubicon, take only a group of 6 people with us, amd our blazer and jeeps and get married out there, that way we can have just a few people, do it in a beautiful setting that is amazing and unique, and in just a year. We only need to spend money on getting the blazer running right and my dream dress of only 550 dollars. She wont have it. She wont even consider it... I NEED HELP IM LOSING MY MIND!!!

Show all

29 Comments

Devoted April 2020
Grace · on September 10, 2018 at 7:44 PM
Flag

Hide content
Have your dream wedding and pay for it yourselves. If you don't have the wedding you want you will regret it. Your mother sounds very controlling and if you don't set a foot down now she will just keep trying to control everything you do in life no matter what it is. I think your idea of your wedding sounds lovely.
- Reply
Master August 2018
Kristina · on September 11, 2018 at 8:17 AM
Flag

Hide content
Simply tell your mom "This is MY wedding and we're doing it my way. I'm sorry it's not your vision, but it's mine." And book everything yourself. If she doesn't like it, too bad. It's YOUR wedding and you need to put your foot down NOW.
Do you have the funds to get your dream dress yourself? If you do, go get it. If not, save for it. $550 for a dress is really cheap and amazing!!!
If you can pay for your own dream wedding, your mother has no say, period. Done.
- Reply
VIP September 2019
latasha · on September 11, 2018 at 8:28 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
If you can pay the $550 by yourself then do that. You two are adults so there should be no reason she won’t “let” you do things. I know that’s tough because who wants to be at odds with their own mother, but think about the bigger picture. If you continue to let her still treat you like a child that will continue after y’all get married, when you have children, when you have grandchildren etc. You have to set boundaries. I’m sending all the strength and good vibes your way in the hopes that you can eventually stand up to your mother. I’m so sorry you are going though this. Good luck!
- Reply
VIP September 2019
latasha · on September 11, 2018 at 8:30 AM
Flag

Hide content
The $550, getting the blazer running and for rubicon*
- Reply
VIP September 2019
latasha · on September 11, 2018 at 8:31 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
THIS! I never get this whole idea that I offer to pay for something so I get to tell you exactly what I want. Like my goodness yes maybe I should be able to invite who I want but as far as the vision of the wedding that should strictly be up to the couple, someone else paying or not.
- Reply
Expert June 2019
Mrs Sullivan · on September 11, 2018 at 9:38 AM
Flag

Hide content
Can you do the rubicon and then settle for letting her pay for a party after? That way you get what you want and she can still plan something for you
- Reply
Champion June 2019
Kenisha · on September 11, 2018 at 1:01 PM
Flag

Hide content
This is YOUR wedding.
Put your foot down.
Do what you want to do and don't let her pay for anything.
Rubicon sounds like YOUR idea of a perfect wedding - so have YOUR perfect wedding.
- Reply
Devoted December 2018
LoweryForLife · on September 11, 2018 at 5:04 PM
Flag

Hide content
Paying or not, I’d tell her to back off. I wouldn’t want my mom wasting tons of money on something I didn’t want. She seems to be living out HER dream wedding.
- Reply

Super May 2019
Chrystal · on September 11, 2018 at 5:16 PM
Flag

Hide content
I decided to have a small DW for similar reasons. If we had the wedding locally it would have been more for other people and not for us. I think if you let you mom plan everything, it won’t feel like your wedding. You should save up and plan something that you can afford and makes you happy. The wedding should be about you and your FH not your mom and her friends.
- Reply