My parents aren't on board with the location we want to get married

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I wouldn't agree that this is the "norm". My parents are paying for the majority of my wedding, but there are zero strings attached. My parents gave me a set amount and anything that we spend beyond that is up to my fiancé and I to cover, which is fine by us!

We found our venue before my parents came into town for the holidays (we're in LA, but I'm from Boston), and I made a special appointment to have my parents look at the venue when they were here. Their only thing was "If you like it, that's all that matters."

I think for some parents they come into a "my daughter is getting married" situation with a very specific idea in their heads and when the daughter expresses the desire to have something different, it stalls in their brains. I've had to have several conversations with my mom (who is also my florist) in regards to her trying to push in too hard. It wasn't a fun conversation, but I reminded her that it is mine and my fiancé's wedding, not hers, and while I am open to listening to her suggestions, if I say no its not because I'm trying to be difficult, its because I know what I want. In the end she understood.

Luckily you're still over a year out, so you have some time. I think showing them how much you love the area and how important it is to the two of you will help sell them on the idea.

Plus OC to SLO is not a far trip at all! Hell, half my guest list is coming from SLO to LA for mine!

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Thank you Orianna, really needed to hear this! Glad to hear you had / are having a positive experience and found some compromise through productive conversations. My fiancé and I are definitely find covering extra costs if needed as well! I think maybe that's part of the issue, and what they're not outwardly sharing with us -- that they're worried we'll go over and not care, or ask for more money, etc., which we absolutely wouldn't. We're so grateful and very mindful of what they're giving to us.

Definitely not a far drive at all, and in my experience & opinion, people love getting away for a weekend, especially for a celebration like this! I'm really hoping that once my parents SEE the venues and are in the atmosphere etc., it will really, really help.

I just wanted to comment that my caterers are out of SLO ( we are getting married in Santa Maria) and they have been amazing! I also have a hair and makeup artist in Atascadero and a Limo guy out of Nipomo that have been great if you need vendor referrals.

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There are probably lots of weddings that work out fine, however we hear many many stories like this here on the boards. Unfortunately no-one has come up with a good solution for this. Money comes with strings in a lot of cases.

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Agree! In every venture, taking on investors means giving up portions of control and having less say. It really sucks that they are not more flexible and understanding that it is your day, but it IS their money. There is no rule that you have to take their money and if you are worried they will be offended that they aren't chipping in maybe you can let them pick something to help pay for (something you can agree on).

Unfortunately, this is often the case when other people put money into your wedding. They’re going to want a say in how their money is spent. It sounds like you and your FH know exactly what you want for your big day. Emphasis on YOUR. I would maybe try explaining to your parents the significance of where you want to get married. Maybe you guys can negotiate on other aspects of the wedding to make an allowance for your venue. If your heart is set on what you have envisioned though, I would say just go for it even if that means you have to pay for it out of your own pocket.

My parents are the same way! Goodluck to you!