My sister is a bridesmaid-zilla.

View Quoted Comment Christy, I've taken your advice and sent a very clear and respectful text in response to her mean spirited voicemails. We'll see how it goes!

She doesn't get to decide any of that. it's your wedding to do and put on as YOU choose.

View Quoted Comment Right?! She thinks I'm being unfair and unreasonable.. But really I'm not. I think a few people have hit the nail on the head, she's just acting out to get some attention, and maybe my laid back attitude is just stressing out her out because that's not how she is at all. I've recently sent a text to hopefully quell the tension, but I never know with her.

I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself. I think sometimes we are so eager to please the ones we love (or just avoid drama) that we end up letting people walk all over us. I've done it myself. But you should not allow someone to treat you that way. So good for you!!

View Quoted Comment Thanks Christy! She has decided to bow out, and at this point I must say I am a little hurt, but a lot relieved!

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You're not doing anything wrong! This is your wedding day, and all she is doing is making it about her. I am having some issues with my sister-in law doing some things i'm not happy with to cause drama. I don't get why weddings can bring out negativity it some people

View Quoted Comment Laura, I'm so sorry.. it's the worst to have people do this kind of nonsense. I only think about how she would have had none of this but expects me to bend.. it's absurd. I refuse to let her ruin this for my FH and me. But you're right, it's something about weddings that brings out the extra special in some people.

View Quoted Comment That's great! that's all you can do is be respectful but firm from your side and let her deal with it at that point. Enjoy the process of planning and don't let anyone make you feel bad!

View Quoted Comment There is nothing in social etiquette requiring you ask any member of your family, or any in-law, to be in your wedding party. Including your sister, much less her husband. Your FI chooses his Groomsmen from people he is closest to. Does sister want her boys to be ring bearers or GM instead of ushers, or not in wedding at all? Not clear to me, except she is not happy.

View Quoted Comment You should be upset that she has so little respect for you that she thinks she can push you around to get what she wants, her bad behavior, not that she is bowing out of the wedding. Ignore her . This has nothing to do with sisterly affection, just her big ego and controlling nature. Good for you.

View Quoted Comment Judith, I originally thought maybe they could all be ring bearers, but made a suggestion maybe her boys, being that they're older, could be ushers with some help. She found that to be an insult. She then brought up the fact that it was weird that her whole family would be involved and not her husband. She said it's weird/odd to be walking down the isle with a stranger and not her husband.. So I'm 100% sure this has nothing to do with "etiquette" (even though brother-in-laws are not part of this so called etiquette) it's just her thinking about herself. My other sister seems to also think the same way but isn't making the same demands. I'm the baby of the family so my two older sisters always gang up on me and feel the need to boss me around.. But not this time. I refuse to even consider their crazy logic and won't allow them to act like petulant children. I'm just disappointed that they have both managed to make our wedding about them.. It's such an unnecessary stress.. I think I'm going to forego the wedding party all together at this point. Although I'm tempted to replace both my sister's with my future sister's-in-laws because they are much nicer and less complicated 😄

Also, when I told her that her husband will not be in our groomsmen, she said her kids won't be in the wedding either. I decided to let her know how rude she was being about her suggesting her husband be in our wedding and trying to make everything all about her, and she decided to not be involved nor will her family be involved in my wedding ..via text. Talk about etiquette..

View Quoted Comment I have 4 sisters (and 4 brothers.) I have 35 female first cousins within 5 years of my age, who live close by, other far distant. None were in my wedding party, and I was not in theirs. Wise decision. . . For the sister who thinks it is strange that she and 2 kids are in the wedding, and not husband, I agree. Only one should be, with others watching. Give 2 other people a chance.😊

It is hurtful when family doesn't act like we'd like them to. But it sounds like you dodged a bullet at the same time.

Keep your head up and just move on!!

View Quoted Comment Thanks Christy, I agree. I'm going to have 2 other people who will be helping not hurting with this process. Maybe they'll feel badly about their behavior, but I doubt it. Thanks for all the advice, it really was helpful!!