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Delaney
Just Said Yes October 2019

My sister probably isn't coming to my wedding...

Delaney, on June 21, 2019 at 8:39 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
Hey, so a year ago my sister (19) got mad at the family and moved in with her BF and hasn't talked to anyone since. I did speak to her briefly in November 2018 to invite her to my wedding in October 2019. She definatly made it seem like she wasn't coming. Since then we have had some major life events within the family but she still refuses to talk to anyone. We are only 4 months away from the wedding and I'm pretty sure she wont be there. Do you have any advice on how to cope with this?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on June 22, 2019 at 9:08 AM
  • M
    Dedicated August 2019
    Misstomorris ·
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    She’s just another human being. You two happened to come from the same womb. If you wouldn’t accept this behavior from a friend, why would you accept it from her?
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  • Rachel
    Expert September 2019
    Rachel ·
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    I agree with this. FH's brother won't be attending our wedding. Family members are upset about it, but there are valid reasons we did not invite him. Not everyone deserves to be at your wedding, least of all solely because they're technically related.

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  • Rachael
    Expert October 2019
    Rachael ·
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    If you want her there, and haven't sent out invites yet, if I were you, I'd hand write a note, saying "I know you don't speak to anyone in the family, but I do miss you. I don't expect you to come, but would love to have you at my wedding", add that in with her invite & send it. From there, the ball is in her field, and even though she could choose not to come, you will have done essentially everything you could have. Unfortunately, you can't make her be there, but in the end you can say that you did make sure she knew she was welcome to you

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  • F
    Savvy November 2019
    Future Mrs. E ·
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    I have a brother that will likely not be at my wedding because his wife is a big ball of drama. It makes me really sad because we used to be very close, but at the end of the day I've come to the mindset that my wedding is about my partner making commitments together and not a family reunion. I'd love all my family there but his absence won't ruin meaning of the day. I totally agree with the post above, if a sibling is treating you poorly you aren't obligated to put up with it anymore than you would with a friend.
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  • Future Mrs. Anderson
    Dedicated July 2020
    Future Mrs. Anderson ·
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    I would still send her a invitation but at the end of the day she will be missing out and down the line she just might need you guys again. Just enjoy you & your FH on y’all day. Best of luck hun ❤️
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Let her know you would be happy to have her there. But this is a common age for young adults to want to be separate from the family they grew up with, and if she does not participate in group family things for a few years, just keep leaving the door open. Meanwhile, even where family do get along at the time of a wedding, often a sibling cannot attend one. Three of us 9 kids married in one summer to fall season. One or two of us missed each wedding. Same with 4 of the weddings from years past. Military basic training 2,000 miles away, a medical residency or an internship in its first month, a brother who had to leave to go 7,000 miles away a month from the wedding, a brother on a submarine crew, with no leave, all have been good reasons. One of my sister's delivered 6 weeks early 2 days before my wedding. A brother 3,000 miles away had a recent house fire, and the need to get 3 rooms rebuilt before a northern winter made my October wedding the wrong time to spend a huge amount of time and money traveling. I, and my remaining siblings, enjoyed my wedding, and their own, with missing family members. It happens, and though it is likely heresy to say it on WW, there are a lot of times when being a guest at a family wedding simply is not the first thing on someone's agenda. You will miss your sister, briefly, on the day. But treat it as though she is traveling far away ( on an independence journey? ) and in a year or two you hope she will be attending family occasions again. And don't make a huge thing of it. Through life as you have a family of your own, you will have to make choices where sometimes you will miss important occasions for family members . It happens.
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  • D
    Super July 2020
    D ·
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    If it's important to you reach out and ask her to come if it's only for the ceremony. Being around everyone during the reception is likely too much for her. She can see you get married at least. If she doesn't come or says no it's okay to have your feelings. She will be missed and it's painful. Try not to dwell on it if possible.
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  • Katie
    VIP November 2019
    Katie ·
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    I would mention that it bothers you but so not let it ruin your day !!
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