My wedding is set for December 1st. I recently lost my job and with it my health insurance, then nine days later I was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. I've had to scramble to get state health insurance, which meant changing to new doctors because the doctors I was seeing don't accept Medi-Cal. It's also been a big fight to get authorizations and the imaging I needed. My oncologist is hoping to have me start three months of chemo in the next couple of weeks.
After talking about it, my fiance and I decided to go ahead with the wedding because we really want to get married and because it's something positive to look forward to. It's been really stressful and emotional for me. Some days I don't even want to think about the wedding because I don't think it's going to turn out the way I had envisioned it. I don't want to be hairless and exhausted on my wedding day. I'm sewing my own wedding dress and some days I just don't even want to look at it because it reminds me of how my vision isn't going to happen.
Then there's the financial stress. We're paying for our wedding completely on our own. My parents have offered to buy me a wig but that's the only financial help our families have extended. Right now I'm receiving unemployment and I'll be switching to disability once I start chemo. That covers our regular expenses but it doesn't help much with the wedding costs. Sometimes I wonder if the wedding is worth all the cost and stress right now but we've already spent almost $5K in non-refundable deposits.
I am grateful that my fiance has been amazing. When we received the diagnosis his first response was to tell me he loved me and wasn't going anywhere. He's been supporting me emotionally as much as he can and has been very involved in my doctor visits.
I'm not really sure why I'm posting this. I guess I just needed to vent. Thank you for reading this if you made it this far.
