My wedding is not your family reunion! Vent!

What a headache! You should get reallllllll good at changing the subject, aggressively and explicitly.

Oh my FMIL did even worse than that. We addressed our invites specifically to the people invited, for example FH's uncle and aunt who's children are all grown adults that we barely know and this didn't invite. FMIL would then tell aunt and uncle to "go ahead and bring all the kids out with you too! More the merrier!" She was so pissed when I made her call everyone she did that to back and tell them she f*ed up. So rude.

My parents are paying for half so im letting them have most of who they want, tho I put my foot down on a few guests.

Don't ask people for lists of who they want invited to a party you're giving; it's your party and you invite the guests you want. Don't show people your proposed guest list. Don't discuss it with them. (If they're giving you money for the party/wedding/reception it gets more complicated, which is part of why it's best to pay for it yourself.)

No girl you're not alone. For me it's my FH! He wants to invite everyone hes ever met and shares a gene with. I agree with several of the posters above who said you should breakdown the exact per-head cost for her. That might bring her back down to earth. Or simply say (or even if you can) "we can't afford to go above 80 guests" or tell her you want an intimate ceremony. But don't cave, you got this. Stick got your bridal guns.

I don’t get why this is even a thing, more often than one would think. www.NO.com

Im dealing with that now. My FMIL is adamant that this very important family in her life gets invited, but FH has never met them. She's also pushing very hard for FH biological family to be there, but he hasnt seen or talked to them in over 5 years.

I tried explaining how our ideal wedding is small, and she told me that's not her dream wedding for her only son. We brought up the money aspect and the only suggestion she had was to push off the wedding and save more.

I don't know how many times I've said "This is not a Sponge family reunion!" to FH in response to FMIL's "Well you HAVE to invite so and so, they're practically family!" No we don't HAVE to invite anyone we don't want to.

That's my dad. I had a good list set at/under 100 people and then he ended up adding an extra 30 made up of a lot of family friends who are basically family and don't know FH. I tried telling him but he's paying a bit part of it so I just let him have it. He may end up changing his mind down the road.

@Zaine that sounds like a nightmare

@Richard - that was perfection!

Ugh, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. My MIL was like this too. She wanted to add on extra guests the DAY invitations went out, and was even pushing for us to send them out after all the others went out. We said no and stood firm on our decision. Simply put,

"Hey MIL, we only have the budget and space for 80 guests. They have already been selected." and move on to another topic. If she pushes, just be blunt and remind her that the guest list is not up for discussion.

If your FMIL Is willing to pay for the wedding that she gets a say on who will be invited if she's not than just simply tell her we can't afford it don't bother saying that you want only close friends and family Because to your FMIL even the ones out of town and distant close are close to her son so make it about money maybe she will get the point

Girl I could have wrote this myself. Currently going through this! My FMIL texts us all the time asking us about our guest list! I have said many times it will be small and immediate family and aunts and uncles. She said "our family is used to big events and weddings." I could scream!!

I dealt with this with both my parents and IL's. Only difference, my parents were paying and we really couldn't say anything. We wanted 140-150 guests invited, hoping to get closer to 120 attended, and we ended up at 226 invited and 165 attended. Every week, up until invites went out, it was we forgot cousin bobs nephews sister in law or cousin Joe's nieces ex boyfriends new girlfriend (I'm obviously exaggerating but it was people who had no relationship with us lol). We only had our bridal party and a small table of friends, the rest was basically just our parents friends and (distant) family.

We got married six months ago, and my MIL is still talking about how there were so many people she wanted to invite - that DH and I didn't even know! Stick to your guns.

I'm in a very similar situation. My mother's side of the family expect it to be like a family reunion (grandmother in particular) and she wants to invite family members i don't even like! And my FH and i agree for the most part on guests except sometime i feel like he is treating our wedding like a Friendsgiving or a friends get reunion....friends we haven't even talked to in a year or two (people from highschool, people from college we never talk to.....)....and I've explained to him twice that we need to be conscious of the guest list. The guest list is the real struggle lol

So far my FH and i have only one issue with my FMIL. She wants us to invite her brother who treats her like crap and never comes home to see his elderly father for no good reason. Anyways FH doesn't get along with his uncle, I've only met him and his family one time and that was enough for me to know I don't like them. Well FMIL has given us money towards the wedding but after we've told her no several times to her brother coming she keeps trying to find manipulative ways to try and "force" him onto the list. Thank Goodness my FH and I are strong willed and say it like it is to her but it's just annoying now with the ways she tries to get him invited. I feel your pain! But I think this last round it finally sunk in...at least here's to hoping

In some families, a wedding is like a family reunion. However, I dont think that decision should be made by anyone else. It should be made by the couple. Therefore, you have to put your foot down and claim your wedding. This is your day and your comfortability. You dont want to be uncomfortable at your own wedding. You also dont want to foot the bill for people that you did not originally invite. Claim your wedding. Its your day...Not theirs

Oooo girl I think we have the same FMIL haha. Hang in there