Name change- yay or nay?

I'm changing mine and can't wait to take his name! If you feel you don't want to then find a way to express that to him in a way that won't hurt him.

I'm not changing my name and I discussed with my FH in a way that laid out why. He was a bit hurt at first but has since gotten over it.

Mmm, i wouldn't suggest to him to take your last name. It takes away from a mans masculinity. I would just explain to him and take into consideration his feelings while telling him.

I think I just told him that I am strongly considering not legally changing my name and here is why...what do you think?

I also told him I would of course go by his last name socially.

Wow, that is so sweet. You have a keeper!

I plan on hyphenating mine. Which the FH is against. His whole masculinity thing gets very annoying. Unfortunately, no one in my family is carrying my last name, it ends with me - which my mom is really sad about. I don't like his last name, and my last name is very important to me and there's no way I'm leaving it behind. He's not happy about it, but ultimately it's my decision.

I'm changing my last name. I completely understand where you're coming from though, associating your last name with your accomplishments. You definitely shouldn't feel obligated to take FH's last name if you don't want to. Yea, it hurts them sometimes but it is what it is.

Unless you get to pick your FI's name, he doesn't get to pick yours. And that goes double for FMIL. So worry less about whether it will hurt his or her feelings, and more about figuring out what you want.

I have kept my name all my life. In addition to the factors you mention, it means old friends can find me, even if they don't know that I'm married or what my spouse's name is. It simplified my life considerably when I got divorced, not by my own choice, after 19 years of marriage. I see a lot of women keeping the ex-husband's name after a divorce so they will have the same name as their kids. Then when she remarries, she has to choose between keeping the first husband's name while married to the second husband (a lot harder than keeping her own original name) or explaining to the children that she is changing her name because she is now part of second husband's family (which leaves the children wondering whether they are not an important part of her family because they don't have the same name as her).

Has it been inconvenient? The only time I can recall was when we were coming into the country, and there was one line for A-M and one for N-Z. Then husband and kids ended up in one line, and I ended up in the other.

Otherwise, it wasn't a problem. I filed joint tax returns using my own name, got health insurance for him even though he had a different name, dealt with the kids' teachers and explained that I had a different name, etc. So long as you are confident and not apologetic about it (and why should you be apologetic--as you say, an expectation of changing your name is sexist), other people will accept it.