Name change- yay or nay?

I have not. MIL has not, either, and would have actually been upset if I did!

DH never even thought of asking me, because of his mom. We're both actors, I like my name, and there are no males in my generation.

Doesn't stop everyone from trying to "Mrs. DH's Last Name" me, though! (It's 2019, ask me if I changed my name, PLEASE!)

I changed it and wish I wouldn't have. Or at least would have hyphenated or kept my maiden in some for or other (move to middle, double last, hyphenate).

I felt very similar to how you felt, but the thing that changed my mind is children. I want to have the same last name as my children and I don't like hyphenated names. For me, changing my last name is a symbol of the new family unit I am creating with my FH. That outweighed everything else I had issues with.

I got married in June and will be changing mine. I been pushing it off because of the process.

I'm keeping mine for a variety of reasons.

1. I'm 36 and have a well-established career in the tech/games industry. My last name is quite memorable, so I'd be losing that name recognition.

2. I'm Vietnamese, and my fiance's last name is of English origin. I feel like I'd be "erasing" my culture if I were to take his last name.

3. In Vietnamese culture, married women retain their maiden name. Obviously being in the US, I don't need to follow this rule, but it's just nice to know that I have a cultural reason to back this up.

4. I really don't want to deal with the paperwork.

Out of curiosity, why do you assume that your children wouldn't have your name if you kept your own name? Is there some reason to believe that the children should get your husband's name rather than yours?

I just always wonder about this, because I hear so often that changing one's name is a symbol of the new family unit being created with the marriage. And yet somehow, it is never the man doing the changing. Isn't he creating a new family unit, too?

Couldn't wait to take his name. I didn't see it as sexist but I know others might. Our kids will have our same name and that is important to me. I have my name attached to my profession too, but I can always be found with how easy internet searching is these days. It is really a personal decision for you and your husband, but for me I wanted our names to match and be one! Hope all goes well with you.

I changed my last name to match my husband's and changed my middle name to my maiden name. I think the points you make about your career are valid, and just as valid are your feelings on the tradition - if you don't like it, don't do it!

Find a time to talk to your FH about it and see how he feels about it - this isn't necessarily a case of "well my man said no, so I have to change my name" but at the same time it's the man you're sharing your life with and deserves a good conversation. If he has strong feelings about it, avoid the temptation to get angry and call him sexist, but hear him out - it likely won't change your opinion, but will make him feel 1000x better just for being heard. Then y'all can move on to the next item on your wedding planning checklist!

As for the MIL, honestly you don't even really have to have a discussion with her about it - although it would be nice to have your FH find a way to mention it to her once the two of you are on the same page!

If it does matter to him you could change it legally but still keep your maiden name for professional usage. thats what i did. I use my maiden name at work and my new last name for everything else.