Name

A couple I know couldn't decide and both chose a new last name together! This might be very controversial but it worked out for them.

I also have a similar dilemma... Once I graduate I'll be going straight for my PhD. I want to change my last name to my FH's but I want my title to be Dr. Strathman (my last name) since I earned the degree. Selfish I know.

Best of luck to you

View Quoted Comment Yes! I’m looking to go back to school and once I get that second degree, it should be my name. I don’t think that’s selfish of you especially since you’ll be a Dr! That’s a huge accomplishment that you should celebrate.


Hah, I’ve suggested a new name all together but he didn’t like that idea 😂

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I think what I might do is what one of my professors currently does. Even though she got her PhD AFTER she got married, She keeps her name for her profession. Her legal last name is her husband's but she goes by Dr. Tucker (her maiden name) when teaching.

Plenty of people don't change their name after marriage. My parents have been married for 35 years, and she never changed her name. It's personal preference. I am going for my doctorate now and I just changed it, but yeah, part of me is a little sad that I won't be Dr. K once I graduate.

I changed my legal last name to my husband’s last name (having my maiden name replace my middle name)...but I still go by my maiden name at work! I did not want to change my professional
identity. Just wanted to throw that out as an idea

View Quoted Comment I’ve heard this is a common thing to do!

I don’t think you’ll get backlash! It’s hard having to change your name. I’m struggling really hard with choosing to change my name for many reasons. You want to enjoy the start of your marriage and not spend it at the DMV or on the phone with different people and doing all the paperwork it requires to change your name officially. There will always be time to change your name! Best of luck with your marriage!❤️

You definitely don't need to change your name at all on marriage. However, if you decide not to change it immediately, and then change it many years down the road, the cost may be higher. Some states will accept a marriage certificate as evidence of a name change only if the name change is made within a certain period of time. If it is not, you may have to go through the legal name change process. It's worth looking at if this is your plan.

Of course, if you are both taking a whole new name, instead of taking the name of one of you, you may need a legal name change, anyway. But even then, only one of you would need to go through the legal name change, and then the other could change their name on account of marriage, if it's done now. If it's done later, both of you might need to go through the legal name change.

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Just make sure your Form W-2 and your tax return are both in your legal name, even if you are otherwise using a different name at work. I once spent way too much time straightening out a situation in which a woman had different names on her Social Security card and her tax return.

And also make sure all your other ID is consistent. With new voter ID laws, for example, a woman who is Jane Maiden on her driver's license and Jane Married on her voter registration, for example, may find herself unable to vote.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much!! I have those docs in my new legal name I really appreciate the heads up!!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the heads up! I’ll have to look into that.

I'm not changing mine, now now anyway. I looked at a check list of all the places I'd need to change it. The list kept growing and growing until it was about a page and a half long. So I decided Nope. FH doesn't care either way. Eventually I think I will add his name onto mine, while keeping mine intact. Not as a hyphenate, just as two last names. But it won't be any time soon. We just got passports!! They're good for 10 years and they were expensive! LOL I'm definitely not going through that process again and paying all that money again.

I don't think anyone will bat an eye if you decide not to change your name. It's a deeply personal decision and times are different now - it's not as common to take your partner's last name as it used to be. And just because you don't change your name doesn't make your marriage any less valid.

You definitely do not have to change your name at all after marriage, it is personal preference, for some, tradition etc but I would suggest checking with your local courthouse to see what their timeline is for having your name changed. It may be different where you are but where I am, you have to change your name (if you are going to) within 3 months of being married. I know a lot of people have professions where they continue to use their maiden name but change it to the new name legally.