Hi everyone! I'm looking for some ideas/advice for navigating wedding planning with Muslim family members. My fiance grew up in a Muslim household, but is no longer practicing since late college. He has two older sisters who are also not practicing, but his parents and younger brother still do.
While his parents had a stricter viewpoint while he was growing up, they have become more understanding towards their differences in recent years. They are generous, welcoming, and kind and have welcomed me into their home and family despite the fact that I am not Muslim, and have included me in celebrations of Eid and other holidays. They have a bit of an unspoken don't ask/don't tell situation regarding religious beliefs/rules that he no longer has (my fiance drinks, has a tattoo, we lived together before being married, etc.)
While both of his older sisters are married to men who have converted to Islam (his parents said they do not feel as strongly about me needing to convert, but I am happy to do that to show my love and respect for their family and culture, as I have never been very religious), they did not have traditional weddings (one eloped and the other opted for a small brunch wedding) so alcohol was less of an issue.
My fiance and I have both always imagined our wedding including alcohol. We enjoy having a few drinks and dancing, as do many of our friends and family members, and believe that it would help everyone feel more comfortable/social/celebratory/fun. At the very least, I'd like to have an open bar for wine/beer or a few specialty cocktails or something. However, I do not want to disrespect his family, and was hoping to find a respectful balance.
Some ideas we have been considering:
- 2 weddings/receptions -(not ideal for price reasons, and because I still feel like it would be excluding them from the second wedding)
- having the bar in a more discrete location/outside of the main room
- having 2 separate areas (such as the dance floor and a firepit/lawn games type area to enable a little more separation from drinking/the bar if desired)
- a brunch wedding/mini reception in the morning and a traditional reception later in the day (still feel a little weird about hosting a second reception event that they're not at least invited to -- maybe informing his parents ahead of time that alcohol would be served at that reception, but they are still more than welcome?
We're still a little stuck and none of these feel quite right -- we want his parents to feel as respected and comfortable as possible, while also having the celebration we've always envisioned. Would love any ideas or input from those who have been in a similar situation!! Thanks so much!