Need Advice: considering not inviting friend drifting away from

Hmm..did you send her a save the date or anything or just mention it? If you honestly don't care if you will talk to her after the wedding maybe it's best to leave her out?

I was in a similar situation and eventually decided on not inviting her. I go by the rule of “if you can’t recognize them in your photos five years down the line, don’t have them there”

I was in a similar situation (except fewer run ins!) . I put her on a list with a question mark, and didn’t send a save the date. I kept telling my now husband “if she makes ANY effort, I’ll invite her!”
She did NOT. (She also got married within this time and I didn’t go but mostly bc it was out of state and out of budget [in addition to the drifting], she had reached out before her wedding a couple of times ONLY in relation to her wedding — addresses, name spelling, etc. When I told her I couldn’t go I said we should get together soon, and she said “definitely! I’ll reach out when craziness dies down” ...I was optimistic. Never happened). By the time I sent my invites out, I hadn’t seen her in a Y E A R. So, I did not invite her. I didn’t even feel bad. I still don’t. She HAS since indicated to a mutual friend that she was surprised not to have been invited, particularly as I had been invited to HERS . She hasn’t spoken to me since and if we run into eachother im sure I’ll feel a little awkward butttttttt.....I don’t miss someone I never saw, soooo, no big loss on my end.

So my advice is, consider how interactions will feel in the future, post wedding. It will likely be awkward if you don’t invite her, but if you see her rarely, that probably won’t have a big impact on your life. If you don’t mind that, don’t invite. If you don’t want to deal, it’s fair enough to invite just to avoid future awkward run ins.

Sorry , the super short reason is: I did not invite my person like this, and I don’t regret it in the least. But it is worth mentioning that she’ll probably never speak to me again, haha. Not a huge loss since that already seemed to be the case.

It sounds like you can probably not invite this person. It could be a friendship ending move but it sounds like there isn't much to save here.

Ask yourself this question: "If this person is not at my wedding, will I be upset/bummed?" If the answer is yes, invite them. If the answer is anything BUT yes, I wouldn't bother. If you feel that the friendship isn't strong, if you feel that it's falling apart, if you feel that you are carrying all the weight of the friendship, then don't invite this person. You said "I honestly could take it or leave it" referring to the friendship. So...leave it. You are not obligated to invite anyone to your wedding you do not want there. However, if you want this person there, invite them - whether or not you do talk between now and then.

I would probably still invite her out of obligation, but that's just me! One-sided friendships can be rough and I know how frustrating it is to feel like you are the only person who cares to reach out, but six months isn't that long in the scheme of things - that period of time can go by in the blink of an eye and before you know it, you accidentally haven't hung out with someone in ages. Did she ever initiate things with you before this, or were you ALWAYS the one who had to reach out before?

Also - if you sent her a save the date you should definitely still invite her at least. Otherwise you're free to invite or not invite her.

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We haven't sent out save the dates yet! We are getting ready to and I'm asking these questions. I know we can always invite someone later too but ...won't she hear about the save the dates from the rest of the friend group? I feel like we have to decide now.

She did initiate more before so I'm not sure what happened. I see her hanging out with other people and she claims, "oh I'm such a bad friend. They plan it and I just show up."

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No save the dates have been sent yet! I've never done anything officially to make her think she is invited but I have unofficially. We are getting ready to send them out and so now it the crunch time where we're making these guest list decisions!

Thanks everyone for the advice. My fiance and I talked yesterday about this and I am thinking we won't invite her. I think she would be a fun guest but yeah, I don't see myself feeling like I'd be upset if she wasn't there. I'm not sure how much I'd even talk to her before OR after! I do think it could be awkward and a friendship-ending move so that's unfortunate. I don't think 6 months is that long but I think it's just the beginning of our distancing. I think she knows I've been distancing myself. I don't like things to be awkward in a friend group which is why I was thinking of still inviting her. Maybe now she's just more my friend's friend...

We aren't at capacity but...the per person cost is not cheap. So I keep trying to ask myself, do I want this person there? Would I want to invite someone else instead that I couldn't invite if they are there (and there was someone else I had in mind)? Would I rather spend more on things for my other guests (to hit our food and beverage minimum)?