Last year when FMIL got diagnosed with cancer and was ill, she asked FH then if he intended on marrying me (little did I know). Fast forward we got engaged and started planning our wedding for this upcoming October.
We’ve been planning a rather small wedding due to cost, due to preference, and now even smaller due to Covid. We planned on getting married rather quickly due to both our parents’ ages and now FMIL’s health. We wanted them to be able to be part of our wedding day.
She just got home from the hospital from a very weakened immune system due an infection that was brought on by Chemo and drug treatments. We talked to them about our Plan A, Plan B & Plan C to which she said she wouldn’t be able to attend if we do Plan A and didn’t want us to do Plan C. Our Plan A was to have a very intimate wedding with a dinner reception with close friends and immediate family. Plan B would be to just have parents & siblings with no reception afterwards. Plan C would be to postpone to a new date next year. So I asked her what she would be comfortable with our Plan B as we haven’t ironed out all of the details...such as getting take out for everyone to be have at the ceremony location, etc. and she kind of got short and was like “well a lot can change between now and then” and quickly changed the subject.
I feel really bad and torn right now. I don’t know which direction to go in terms of planning and I would like to know what she feels comfortable with so we can plan accordingly. It’s tough because she has to go back into the hospital this week to continue chemo in preparation for the booster that she needs from her donor so I feel really bad asking, but FH’s parents did bring up the subject of the wedding.
When we walked out to our car, FFIL said to let him know what we decide with our plans for the wedding, and I emphasized that I would like to take their comfort level into consideration and to let us know what they would like.
I already feel stressed just having to adjust and make changes already to accommodate Covid. I really want what’s best for everyone and I’m just not sure what to do at this point. I feel like I said what I could, I feel like they are going through a lot right now, but we also have to make a decision. Do we plan for Plan B? Do Plan A with social distancing at the Ceremony and then the In-laws can leave afterwards if they don’t want to attend the reception?
