Need advice!

Sorry to hear about this! Have you and your fiance considered going to couples counseling? A therapist can help navigate all the issues, and help figure out the next steps from here. I also suggest to hold off on planning or paying for any part of the wedding until you're able to work through this, since deposits aren't usually refundable. If it doesn't end up working out, you won't be out a bunch of cash on top of everything else.

I would definitely call a couples counselor ASAP. It sounds like he has a lot of changes going on in his life, and a professional can help him get his thoughts and feelings together, and help you both as a couple to figure out where your relationship is going in the future.

Couples counseling is what I would suggest also. There’s no way to know whether his feelings are just a phase and being able to each openly communicate how you’re feeling is going to be the first step in figuring that out.

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Hi Lisa! Thank you for responding. I have considered mentioning to him that we should go to couples counseling. I will try to find someone in our area that we will be able to afford.

I would seek couples thereapy asap. He needs to be certain he wants to marry you and you deserve a final answer from him before investing anymore time and money into wedding planning. As well, its not fair for either of you to be strung along.

I would hit pause on wedding planning and have some serious conversations, ideally with a mediator/counselor.

I agree with everyone here - that's very concerning to hear and if he is willing, speaking to someone like a counselor to help work thru your issues would be good.

i have a friend who was married and literally right after getting married, his now ex wife realized she didn't want to be with him- that doesn't JUST happen overnight it feels, ya know? feels like there's legit some deeper issues or a collection of issues that has led to that revelation

I would put a hold on all wedding plans and contact a couples counselor. If he is willing to work on things a professional is the only way to go. I wish you the best of luck.

After 7 years together and a proposal, if he's voicing doubts about your relationship, I would not call that a "phase". See a couples counselor, but be ready to make a clean break.

Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable marrying my man if he said that. Marriage is about trusting one another, through better or worse, and being able to count on your partner always being by your side. If you can't count on him before the marriage, you probably won't be able to count on him after either. But you have to go with what your gut is telling you.

Not sure how old your fiancé is, but it doesn't like he is mature enough to be getting married. You've been together for seven years and have been living together for four so he should definitely know by know if you are "the one". My first question to him is if he didn't know then why did he propose. If I were you, there is no way I would proceed with any wedding plans with the way he is acting.

I'm sorry you're going thru this. Def seek couples counseling. Because I dont think it's a phase. If he isn't sure about your wedding next year then def stop planning. Even sit him down privately n ask what's going on !

I agree with what everyone else said about counseling and hitting pause on the wedding planning but wanted to add that I can absolutely see where he is coming from and it makes sense. You two have basically been together your entire adult lives (I'm assuming he's about the same age as you). I can see how the reality of marriage combined with graduating from college could bring up some feelings of "oh s**t this is really happening is this really what I want for the rest of my life?" It's like going from playing house to being an actual grown up. I don't think that's necessarily a reflection on you or your relationship or even his commitment (though it could be). It could be more of him feeling like he doesn't know who he is as an adult/ individual without you, and wondering if he needs to explore that. Society also puts a lot of pressure on us today to make sure we are with "the one." Because of that, I think it's very normal to love someone, be their best friend, and still wonder if there is something else out there. It has nothing to do with what they have, it's all about the mystique of what else could be.

The fact that he has even brought this up instead of a) pretending everything is fine or b) pulling back without giving you an explanation shows a level of maturity and a lot of trust so that's a good thing. Do the counseling (he may even need to do some individual counseling) but be prepared to possibly give him some time and space. And since this is not likely to be a quick resolution, I'd confide in a trusted friend to help you get through whatever is to come.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and I hope things turn out okay for you both.

Thank you so much, everyone! Your responses and advice have been super helpful to me. I appreciate you all more than you know!

I have definitely put a pause on wedding planning, and I plan to sit down and talk with him about seeking counseling.

Thank you, thank you, thank you all so much!