Need sibling advice

View Quoted Comment Thank you Michelle. I know I felt like I was finally starting to enjoy the planning process and then she started bugging me with the nagging about our weddings cant be the same. But it'll be beautiful no matter what and hers will be too! Exactly,shes the younger sibling and she's always been a bit hard to deal with but that's sibling rivalry for you.

View Quoted Comment I know,it's hard to put my foot down sometimes but from what I've been hearing in this discussion the best thing to do is to not share much with her and if she gives me crap I just have to tell her like it is and not let her get under my skin. Thank you

View Quoted Comment Thank you Judith. That is great advice and I agree she shouldn't feel like she owns something. It's not like you can call dibs on stuff when you have two separate weddings. I do need to just keep my mouth shut and only share things with my fiancé. She was upset that her color palette had the Burgundy in it but I don't see why it matters if I'm using it for attire when she didn't plan to anyways. She's being way too controlling over something so silly as colors.

View Quoted Comment She has admitted to being jealous of me throughout our lives together and it's normal for me to get jealous of her too occasionally. The difference is is that she makes me feel like crap because of her jealousy but I don't do anything im just quiet and keep to myself. I agree,though im just worried because she is going to be one of my bridesmaids so keeping things from her could be challenging at some times but at least she's not my MOH. She will just have to wait and see until the day.

View Quoted Comment None of my bridesmaids or hubby's groomsmen ever saw anything to do with our wedding except for our invitations, and their own dresses or suits. And we were traditional and used men's assessories based on the colors of the shirt or jacket, not BM dress color, so really, just their own , not even colors of the other half of the wedding party. No secret. Just, this was the first major thing my FI and I had done,
and we did it together or with outside vendors, or single items with this friend or that family member.
Since no one knew, no constant suggestions, no criticism, no petti infighting.

Maybe try to flip it on end for her. Start talking about budget and how each of you could "share" things and split costs. Just because you are sharing things doesn't mean it will look exactly the same.

I would also say sounds like you will be make many more compromises than she will due to the things you "can't" do/have. Have the wedding you and you FH want. Your sister needs to relax and maybe getting together could help the process for both of you. . not all the planning but it might be able to help both of you. I assume your parents are not touching this one with a 10 foot pole.

Good luck with trying to calm your sister down, killing them with kindness just might work. .

View Quoted Comment Haha wow I never thought if it like that. That's actually a great idea too! Especially because my wedding is a few months before hers and I know she will probobly judge me no matter what I do on my day. Yeah my parents try and talk to her all the time but usually goes in one ear and our the other. Thank you for the advice!

I am so sorry you are dealing with that. I would say you need to stick to your guns when there is something your FH wants and your sister is trying to claim it as *reserved* for her use only. Like the colors. She needs to get over this and stop trying to make your weddings a competition. Yes, it is nice that you care about her feelings but don't let her box you into a corner unnecessarily. If it is easy for you to avoid repeating some of her choices, then go for it but she should not have full veto power over your decisions.