Need some input! No dj at reception? Good or bad?

We’ve attended weddings and receptions like this, both together and on our own. It depends on the context. Is it a situation where the house of worship the couple belongs to doesn’t allow dancing of any kind even off site? Or is the guest list not the dancing type and they prefer to socialize?


Even the more traditional couples didn’t have parent dances and no one batted an eye. For the social circles we have in the past and still belong to, it would be non traditional to dance with parents. Cake cutting is always a thing, because the majority of weddings in our families and social circles have always been cake and coffee only, but outside of YouTube, we’ve never seen music accompany it. We didn’t have music with ours either and no one said anything afterwards. More weddings than not that we have attended didn’t have a dj because guests were not the dancing type. And there was no replacement because guests were happy to socialize, which tends to be an unpopular opinion online. But of the few that did have dancing, the duds were mainly the DIY playlist route, but the djs were excellent at what they did (playing a great variety and kept a small group on the dance floor the whole time) even if they were too talkative (including “basic” MC announcements that guests tuned out and didn’t really apply to the group). Only 1 dj was “perfect” because they didn’t need to talk at any point (nothing needed to be announced, nor were couple introductions considered a thing at the time) but they could read the crowd so the floor was packed. And a good mix of non wedding themed songs.
You are paying them to perform a service, not the other way around. Be firm about what you want and what you don’t want. If they refuse to cooperate, move on. Yelp for your area has a ton of unbiased reviews for vendors that they cannot request to have removed, unlike WW/TheKnot. You can watch clips of them in action on YouTube or TikTok. The dj was probably the hardest vendor for us. We didn’t want the “traditional” “standard” dj who acts as MC (we didn’t do intros because it was vital to us that everyone at the reception was also at the ceremony and they knew who we were, and most had attended so many weddings by that point that no one needed a play by play schedule) and that ruled out 99% of the options in our area because they wouldn’t work with us if we didn’t want the chaotic MC service front and center over dancing. We didn’t want parent dances either. While we were ok with the fact that the majority would be sitting socializing, it was also important to keep the wedding theme songs to a minimum and focus on songs that we like to hear from all genres. Once the floor opened, it was steadily packed all night with a core group, even with a majority of guests not dancing.
To expand on why the DIY doesn’t work, there are multiple things working against you. With a playlist, you can’t hit play and leave. If a song makes people leave the dance floor, then you don’t have the same skill and ability to read the crowd and access a song that they will dance to. Same applies to anyone you have manage it, who will need to be hired help instead of a guest who is not able to enjoy themselves as a guest anymore.

I’ve been to weddings where all music was run off a phone playlist. You’ll have to do a bit of figuring out how to hook up to the system, set the volume properly, etc that the DJ would normally handle. I’d make sure you have a designated person who knows how the system works and is in charge of turning it off and on at appropriate times and adjust if there are any issues.

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Thank you so much for the insight!! I think you are right, I am expanding my search!

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Right, and I would feel bad about enlisting someone attending to be that person. Something to consider for sure! Thank you!

We had a phenomenal DJ. He asked us for our song list, and followed our timeliness and special requests . Since we are older, there were no traditional items on our list ..... parents long gone, so no dance there. I truly hate the whole bru-ha-ha wedding party intro, so that was nixed as well. My dh and I entered mid-cocktail hour, so he paused the background music and introduced us which led us right to our first dance. Then we got to enjoy the remainder of the cocktail hour with our guests. As guests sat down for dinner, the DJ mentioned our attendants (they waved as they were sitting LOL) which led to introducing the toast, blessing etc. I guess what I'm saying is that a professional DJ will follow whatever timeline you want. Our dance floor was packed the entire night, and he was able to play every special request brought to him by our guests. A year later and our friends still comment on it! Stand your ground and find a DJ that understands you are "the boss"!

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I love that!! I will keep going with the search! I think its worth it

Honestly our dj was amazing. He told us from the very beginning he is isn't the type of dj to play those cheesy wedding songs like you mentioned. He also asked if we would allow guests to make requests. We did. One of our guests did request one of those cheesy songs and the DJ's assistant asked me if it was okay before he played it. I approved it since it was a guest request otherwise he wouldn't have played it. I think you need to find a dj that you trust to follow what you want.