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Samantha
Dedicated August 2020

Need some sound advice...or thoughts...

Samantha, on October 2, 2019 at 10:24 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 15
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Hello All!
So my FH and I got engaged in May, but because we currently live in CA and plan to get married in NY, we havent been able to really plan or do much venue hunting. We're both from NY so all our family is still there. We originally planned on getting married in Sept of 2020- however, my brother has now proposed to his girlfriend a few weeks ago and they have already booked a venue, a photographer, etc for their Nov 2020 wedding. (Grrr... feeling slightly annoyed...). We are moving back to Long Island, NY next month (mid-Nov to be exact) and I've decided to push up our wedding date because I feel as though its too close to theirs. Even though we were engaged first ( As i type this, I feel like I sound petty...smh...) Anyways...so I think Ive finally found a great venue but I wont be able to see it until next Month. Im really considering hiring a wedding planner to help because I feel like I'd have too much to do, with too little time. The venue said their latest date that they have left is in August so I guess that's okay. My question is..or questions... do I wait to hire a wedding planner until Im back in NY? And to be quite honest, we dont want to waig until 2021 to get married. We're in our 30's and have been waiting to get married to start a family. We're tired of waiting..or at least I sure am. Anyone have advice or thoughts they'd like to share on my situation? Perhaps shed some light Smiley winking Thanks!

15 Comments

Latest activity by Elegantly, on November 6, 2019 at 9:41 AM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I don't see why your original plan wouldn't work. You wanted to get married 2 months before your brother, not the same day. As far as hiring a wedding planner, that depends on how much you think you'd want to get done wedding-wise in the next month.
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  • Samantha
    Dedicated August 2020
    Samantha ·
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    True, two months is good. However what I forgot to mention is that we have a lot of family that will be traveling from out of state to come to both the weddings, maybe. This is costly. And the closer our weddings are to one another, the less likely they would be to come to both. Its expensive to travel, especially with kids. Also, there are the expenses to our parents. Having two weddings a couple months a part is a little heavy on the pockets. I think im just trying to be considerate of others really... I could just say whatever and do what I want but thats not how I am. Although I wish sometimes I was. Thanks for the thoughts though. I wasnt sure how far in advance wedding planners need to be hired. I actuallu contacted one already and she had my date booked already. I guess maybe Ill just play it by ear until Iml move back, idk.
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  • Kira
    Super March 2017
    Kira ·
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    Bjorn is a great wedding planner in NY and he really listens to his clients. Try looking up bjornevents on IG.
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  • A
    Master June 2020
    Anna ·
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    That's a tricky one. If it were me, I'd go with my original plan.
    You were, in fact engaged first.

    While it's nice to be considerate of others, occasionally we must put ourselves firstSmiley smile

    The guests that love you most would have attended both weddings either way. Maybe, just scale down the guest list, to nearest and dearest.

    Save money and plan it yourself. It's alot of fun! Don't wait, life's too short.
    If you don't want to wait, you shouldn't have to.❤
    Congratulations!
    Either way, it will work out as things always do, and it will be for the best.
    Hang in there.
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  • Keri
    Dedicated October 2019
    Keri ·
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    If it would take your stress of the whole wedding away then hire a planner. It’s a lot of planning. She/he could help ❤️
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  • Samantha
    Dedicated August 2020
    Samantha ·
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    I definitley will! Thank you so much!
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  • Samantha
    Dedicated August 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Thanks so much. Honestly, I think I will try and keep it down to the nearest and dearest as you said. I think im getting a little freaked out by all the stuff that goes into a wedding that Im starting to get overwhelmed and I didnt even really start lol. I think I may try and start the planning myself and see what I can do. Thanks again!
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  • Samantha
    Dedicated August 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Thanks! Im going to keep it as an option. I read on some websites that you can hire one at any time throughout the wedding process, even like 3 months before or 6 months, etc. I think Im just getting nervous not having anything in concrete.
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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    We hired our wedding planner before booking our venue. It helped to have her to go over the contract and know what to ask on the site tour.
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  • Samantha
    Dedicated March 2021
    Samantha ·
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    My fiancé and I live in CA but I’m from jersey and getting married in jersey next year . Same deal with BFF in NY she got engaged before me and set her date but I set mine a month before hers. Didn’t seem to be an issue with our bridal party ( half of mine are hers as well including her !) I used family in jersey to help preview and video chat me and record venues in jersey and narrowed down the list before fiancé and I flew to jersey to check them ourselves. I’m hiring a coordinator since I have family who had been recommending many people
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  • Samantha
    Dedicated August 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Thats really great advice. It seems silly but I never even thought if them being involved with contracts and such. Awesome. Thank You!
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  • Samantha
    Dedicated August 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Yeah Im hoping it wont be an issue. I want my brother to have our family at his wedding just as much as I want them at mine. My FML said she would visit a bunch of places and send us pics but, my FH wants to see them in person no matter what so I hate to have her go just to go back again next month. But after hearing everyone Im beginning to get more hopeful. Thank you so much for commenting. Means a lot.
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  • Kiley
    Expert November 2019
    Kiley ·
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    I would have a conversation with your parents.. tell them your thoughts and concerns. If two months isn't enough time for them then maybe reconsider a different date. Otherwise, I would keep your original plans. Those who can make it will make it. As for your venue, is it possible for your mom or someone to go look at the venue and FaceTime you? If you liked it, you could put down a deposit (with understanding you could lose the money) until you are able to see it. If a DOC is in your budget, then I say go for it!! But if not, just trust the process.. I know you'll find something you love! But don't change your plans for others!

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I get where you are coming from with not wanting to have your wedding too close to your brother's. My brother-in-law got married 6 weeks after us and I was angry about it especially because right after we got engaged I said I wanted to get married in September and suddenly two hours later they announced they wanted to get married in September even though they knew that's when we planned on getting married. As for hiring a wedding planner, if the only reason you want to hire one is because you are currently living in CA then I don't think I would. One month isnt going to make a huge difference plus wedding planners aren't cheap.
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  • Samantha
    Dedicated August 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Thanks for the thoughts. I feel like I sound biotchy when I say i dont want to get married close to them and that I was feeling some type of way about them booking everything before me. Im glad Im not the only one haha! I think you're right...I might wait to hire a planner until I get back and see if what I can handle on my own. Thanks again!
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