Need suggestion for a better life

I think that anything is worth trying. Me and my fiance have problems with our communication (sometimes it gets toxic and disrespectful) we don't mean for it to be but it happens here and there (not often) so we talked about and agreed that counseling would help us and our marriage. I think that you should try talking to him and telling him how you feel. Then suggest counseling but it's not gonna work if he isn't willing to try and put effort in.

I think we need to let go of this stigma that counseling is a bad thing. It's a great thing! People need help, people need advice. When we asked our pastor to marry us, he gave us one condition. And that was to do counseling before we got married. We did it and we learned so much. It's called saving your marriage before it starts. Whether you do counseling before, after, or during, it's a better alternative than just growing unhappy together. I also recommend you both reading the 5 love languages book. Because maybe he is showing you he loves you, but not in the way you need it.

View Quoted Comment I totally second the idea of reading the 5 Love Languages book!! My fiance and I were given two copies of that book as a gift, and we've been reading them separately and discussing the chapters together as we each finish reading them. It's been awesome in learning about each other and how we show our love for each other differently, and also what actions we each can do to show our love for the other person.


Counseling is a great idea - I recommend that as well. It works well for getting a perspective that is different from what you and your fiance see, and also strategies for overcoming the disagreements and strengthening the marriage. I think going to couples counseling in this case would help, especially if both of you are willing to go.

View Quoted Comment This is great advice! The five love languages book can be a game changer as can therapy. Just go in with an open mind.

Love language book and Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars 😉


There is always something in a marriage. Important is to communicate in a respectful way and receive complaints in a positive way! If one can’t do one of it, then help from a neutral person is needed. When one is unhappy, it’s time for a change. Try counseling ❤️

Counseling is always worth a try.

DH and I even went well before we were engaged, because I asked, as I come from a pretty screwy family. We were in a good place, but I didn't want to fall into bad habits and coping mechanisms.

That said, it takes two. If only one of you is invested in counseling... it won't work. That's a pretty important red flag, to be honest. When one person in a relationship is unhappy, but the other is totally cool with the status quo... well, the whole point of a relationship is to support each other, and that's not supportive.

Counseling is always good because it will help you sort through your thoughts and feelings. If he is willing to do counseling you should try it together. Also, don’t see this as anything being wrong with you. It may just be a different season in your marriage and you both need to readjust after having children. Make an effort to date more as a couple and have time where it’s just you two; may it be something simple. Also, show more appreciation for each other and communicate in an uplifting way that builds a connection more. I am actually doing counseling with my husband because we are trying to learn to communicate better and build our connection more. My counselor has said that each person’s happiness should not be dependent on what another is doing or not doing. But you should be able to express your thoughts and feelings and work through the difficulties or not strong areas both together and individually. Focus more on yourself; make more time for yourself such as a new hobby something that relaxes you and gives you a new goal. Focus on loving yourself first. Sometimes we get so busy we forget to love ourselves and it can affect us in various ways before we realize it. I also found a channel on YouTube recently that is called “Marriage Helper” and they have some good videos about marriage problems that happen over time and what small steps can help improve them.

Yes, I think counseling is great! While I haven't been in couples counseling, I've gone to counseling for two different times in my life and both experiences were great. I imagine that doing counseling will help open up the lines of communication especially when it's a couple. In addition, they may suggest individual counseling on top of couples counseling if one or both need additional support.

I know people sometimes think that therapy is just talking to someone and paying them, but I would say that they're not only good for listening, but also asking the right questions and challenging the way you think and why. They can keep you accountable. There's often some sort of "homework" or application that they would follow up on if you go regularly.

If counseling is not in the budget, perhaps find some videos on youtube of marriage counselors and still set a time to talk about them regularly. There are also a lot of books!

Counselors cannot solve your issues but they can definitely give you tools to help you resolve your issues.