Nervous about epic tantrum from flower girl

My first thought is, what else do you expect from small children? In which case, what you CAN expect is that the parents will control the behavior. You just have to be honest with them, if they don't feel that they can do that, then I wouldn't have a flower girl.

My niece is the same way. Just when I was going to release my no kid rule, she had a tantrum at Christmas and I said, nope, not doing it. I told my brother to get her under control (in a loving but direct way), but of course she's his baby girl so she does no wrong. I hate not having my own nieces and nephews at my wedding but it is what it is. We are providing free childcare for guests who absolutely must travel with their kids at a separate location with movies and snacks and games. So maybe have a space like that and encourage your sib to remove her there. I didn't read the PP comments but I'm sure someone already recommended that too. Lol

Always, always, always have a back up plan when you are doing something with kids involved. Something I learned from my mom. We asked our Godchildren to be in the wedding, and we are anticipating the 5 year old might struggle a little. We are starting now to sit down and talk to him about the expectations. And we have talked to each other (and his parents) about if he decides that he changes his mind that is okay. His mom is in the bp, but dad is not. We are positioning dad in the back near the start of the aisle, so that if changes his mind, he can go sit with dad. We also have an exit plan for them if the kids get tired before the wedding is over.

But you can't tell other how to raise their children, but you can make a plan and talk to the parents about it. If you are really concerned then no flower girl.

If she has problems not being the center of attention, give her a special job during the reception. Tell her she is your fairy niece for the day. This involves sprinkling confetti around the gift tables during speeches, doing her best ballerina twirls in a specific spot while you enjoy your first dance, and other things she can do to feel like the spot light is on her when everyone's attention is on you. It's not the best parenting, but it might help give her something to do other than scream.

Just because her parents let her scream in the hallway doesn't mean they'd let her do it at your wedding, at least in front of everyone. There might be a correlation about what time of day it is and her tantrums. This might give you a better idea when she is more "prone."

Lastly, I'm having a flower girl and have already told her mother it is for the ceremony only. There will be a baby sitter for the reception. She might use the girl's grandmother in which case, Id invite the grandmother to the ceremony too, hopefully helping if my little flower girl loses it (she is younger than 4 but I just love the little thing too much not to have her.)