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Alexis
Savvy June 2017

Nervous For First Night

Alexis, on January 27, 2017 at 1:12 AM Posted in Honeymoon 0 32

So my fiancé and I are young, neither of us have ever been physically intimate before.. And I am kind of nervous about our first night. Any advice on what to expect or how to make things run "easier"?

32 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs.KatieK, on January 27, 2017 at 11:02 AM
  • C
    Dedicated July 2017
    CHARLENE ·
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    Try a glass of wine to help you relax.

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  • Kashawn
    Super March 2017
    Kashawn ·
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    The best advice is to just relax. Your body will react the way it's supposed to. It's your mind that will have you nervous, anxious and feeling awkward. So just relax. I would say enjoy it but that takes a couple of times before it becomes enjoyable. Lol. Oh, and the first time may be over very quickly.

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  • Alexis
    Savvy June 2017
    Alexis ·
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    Thank you @Kashawn J.

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  • Snow White
    Dedicated May 2017
    Snow White ·
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    Lubricant and try several different types to see what you like. Buy it near the over the counter birth control at a store or if you are self conscious get it online from Amazon, target, Walgreens etc.. most important, don't think you have to do it on your wedding night. Take your time. Spend time just getting to know each other physically, it's fun! You can pleasure each other and get physical release without intercourse that night if you just aren't ready and that is perfectly okay. Take it slow if you need to. Some people can go straight to it and some need a little more time and either one is fine.

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  • _KitKatt
    Super October 2017
    _KitKatt ·
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    Nikki that is the worst advice. You can't tell someone to not be nervous about something so new and intimate to a person.

    OP Kashawn said it best. Relax and focus on the moment, and don't get too bent out of shape if the first time isn't "movie perfect" because it's usually not Smiley winking

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  • J
    Just Said Yes September 2017
    Jenna F ·
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    I totally agree with Kashawn J.

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  • AyEmVee
    VIP May 2017
    AyEmVee ·
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    Communicate! Don't be afraid to tell your partner what feels good and what doesn't feel good. I guarantee he wants you to enjoy it, so speak up! It took me years to get comfortable telling partners "hey! That kind of hurts, let's try this instead" or "can you slow down a bit?"

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  • Alicia v.
    Super March 2017
    Alicia v. ·
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    Work your way up to it. Fooling around and doing other intimate things first makes you more comfortable around each others bodies

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  • Juli
    VIP March 2017
    Juli ·
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    Just relax, don't be afraid to communicate what you like or what you don't like. Have fun and if you're not ready, that's perfectly okay too.

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  • Alexis
    Savvy June 2017
    Alexis ·
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    Thank you all, this helps leaps and bounds.

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  • LolliPOP
    Super May 2017
    LolliPOP ·
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    Communication, relaxation and lots and lots of foreplay.

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  • FutureMrsW
    VIP March 2018
    FutureMrsW ·
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    Definitely work your way up to it! There's a lot more to it than just "doing it." Go slow, and really physically get to know each other. It'll extend the whole experience and really help you guys connect Smiley smile

    And nothing to be nervous about. It'll take a few times for it to really be great, but just be open with your husband and guide each other.

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  • Holly
    VIP June 2018
    Holly ·
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    @Lolli nailed it.

    Don't feel pressured to do it on your wedding night. A lot of people are too exhausted to have sex after their wedding. It's totally fine!

    Try not to build it up in your mind. Your first time will NOT be the best. It will be quick and possibly painful, so foreplay, foreplay, foreplay.

    Make sure you are wet before starting. Seriously. Taking a dick dry is going to hurt.

    Foreplay and/or lube should do the trick.

    NEVER fake an orgasm. It probably won't happen the first time - that's okay!! Be open and honest about your needs (and encourage him to be, as well).

    Don't be afraid to tell him if it hurts or you want him to stop. It's a learning curve for both of you. He will be just as nervous as you are.

    There is never a point of no return. If, at any time, either of you does not want to continue speak up!

    Relaxation and foreplay can go hand-in-hand. A nice massage, kisses all over, chocolate and wine, soothing bath, etc. can lead naturally into sex. It doesn't have to come from nowhere, and it doesn't have to start in the bedroom.

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    Sorry, how young?

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  • Cassandra
    Devoted October 2017
    Cassandra ·
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    Just coming to say I love @snow and @holly for mentioning lube! I needed people like you when I was in high school.

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  • MNA
    Master April 2018
    MNA ·
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    Let it progress naturally.

    Also, don't get married just to have sex, and that's EXACTLY what it sounds like you're doing.

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  • Baletica
    Master June 2017
    Baletica ·
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    I agree with PP about expectations. It most likely will not be like the movies and that's ok. Take your time, be willing to communicate, and learn each other.

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  • TAP
    Master September 2018
    TAP ·
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    First thing is first, don't expect it to be "romantic and amazing". Most first times are exactly the opposite, especially when you both have never had sex before. It is a little awkward and uncomfortable but if you are doing it with the right person ( in this case it seems to be the right person since he is your fiance) it still is an experience to be remembered. Just try your best to relax. It takes a couple times to finally feel like you're even doing it correctly or to have it feel good. I also agree with doing other acts before sex so you both know each other's bodies a bit better.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP July 2017
    Jennifer ·
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    As a few PP's have said, work your way up slowly to it. My first time ever (not with my FH but my literal first time having sex), he was experienced and did all the work. With you both being new to it, you need to work your way up to it. You can literally lay around and get to know each other's bodies, just enjoy being intimate together without sex. This can include so many things, back massages, making out, just feeling around, or just laying in bed together and slowly getting there.

    I've literally been the exact opposite of you, jumping to it with my ex's while we were together, one night stands etc. But with my FH I saw something in him and was afraid to ruin it, so I took it much slower, we literally spent a night just laying fully clothed together, kissing and holding each other and enjoying each other's company, in bed. It was amazing and really built a lot of trust between us before getting to the grand finale.

    You don't have to do it on your wedding night. You can literally just enjoy that night being held by him and cuddling in bed, kissing a little etc. Wait until you are comfortable enough to do it, it may not even happen on your honeymoon and that is ok! Take your time, I have so many friends that rushed to have sex before they were ready and they regretted it so much.

    Related, do you have a plan for birth control? I highly recommend that you think about it. Since you are a little uncomfortable in that area right now, I would make sure you get a female OBGYN. The fine ladies at Planned Parenthood will sit down and talk to you about all of your options and answer any and every question you have about the big night, they are truly wonderful and I wish I had talked to them before I had sex for the first time. You need facts and knowledge, not only about protection (from pregnancy) but also about how exactly everything works. I recommend PP because it's the only doctors office I have ever been to where they sit down and really talk to you, most doctors just want to focus on the medical and get you in and out, but PP has counseling and medical all in one and will take their time talking you though everything and making sure you are comfortable. It's like talking to your best friend who just happens to be a nurse or doctor!

    Best of luck, I hope you have a fantastic wedding and enjoy your honeymoon afterwards!

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  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
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    Yeah probably to young to be married.

    Anyways.. don't have any expectations for the first night. Being nervous is going to make it painful. So either relax or just fool around and get to know each other and wait until your comfortable.

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