New Years Eve Wedding- Heavy hors d’ouevres/ table seating arrangements

You definitely need a seat for everyone. People like a place to put their coat/purse and set down a plate/drink. Most people will grab a plate as soon as apps come out and wont want to balance a plate, water, cocktail, coat, purse, etc at the same time. Especially if some people get to sit. If you dont' have enough space for a dance floor and seats for everyone than you should cut your list or find a bigger venue!

You need regular seating the same as a full meal. Tables and chairs for all. Assigned seating is not necessary. Many people leave early when there is no seating (tables in addition to just chairs) for the entire group. Regardless if you're in heels or flats, no one has extra hands to be able to juggle a purse, drink, plate, fork, and and have a free hand.

Also does your venue allow that many people yet?

View Quoted Comment Yes. My family actually owns the venue, so I’m good there!

Definitely have a seat for everyone.

Definitely, absolutely plan for a seat for each guest. Varying table heights with a casual placement and no seating chart is OK for a NYE party. Like a previous poster said, if there isn't enough room for tables *and* dancing, then it's not the right venue.

"We have decided to do heavy apps and hors d’ouevres instead of a sit-down meal since it will probably be 8 or 8:30 before guests make it to the reception."

I'm not sure what the difference is between apps and hors d'oeuvres in this context, but please plan to serve enough food to make up a full meal for everyone. Plenty of people eat dinner at 8 or later anyway. And factoring in getting ready, travel time, early arrival to the ceremony, when would they actually have time to eat dinner? 5:00?

Not to mention that if you don't serve enough food to fuel the drinking, dancing, and partying, people will leave the reception to go find adequate food.

You should definitely have a seat for each person. Even if someone does enjoy dancing, they might want to take a moment to sit or have a place to put their things like a jacket or purse.

This is not a black tie event - black tie requires a multi-course plated meal, white-gloved waiters, usually tableside ordering, with a top-shelf open bar to boot and table service during dinner. You're having a formal wedding, not a black tie wedding, so you should not write black tie on your invitations.

Wait, aren't you're the same person who asked if having a DJ instead of a live band at a black tie wedding is tacky? While having a DJ at a black tie wedding would certainly be tacky, this plan of heavy appetizers is just plain unacceptable. If you're going to host a black tie affair, you need a multi-course plated meal, period. The components of a black tie wedding are: upscale venue, multi course plated meal, live band, top shelf open bar, and complimentary valet parking. I'm sorry, but it doesn't sound like you should be calling your wedding black tie.

View Quoted Comment

I could not agree more! This is NOT a black tie wedding

View Quoted Comment As someone who has been to more "black tie" but not really black tie weddings than I can count, I want to third this. If you're not willing or able to host your guests at a black tie level, do not ask them to dress in black tie attire. Black tie is expensive for guests, and many flat out hate wearing it. You can only ask for it if you are hosting a true black tie event.


But I think a seat for almost everyone is best. I don't have a problem with heavy hors d'oeuvres at 8 because that's not a meal time. People can eat a bit at 5:30/6 and then eat more at your party.

Huh? You're the one who posted on here asking for advice lol! Hope you have a nice black tie but not actually black tie wedding! Best of luck in your planning

I answered your original question in a factual tone and made the joke after you said I was obsessed with you.... ??

My style may be curt but on this forum, I tend to answer things as they are. I propose that we agree to disagree. Best of luck with your wedding!