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DabC
Dedicated January 2021

New York says no dancing!

DabC, on November 23, 2020 at 5:15 PM

Posted in Community Conversations 26

Hi, are any other brides out there dealing with the no dancing rule? This is the rule in NY right now, I don't know about anywhere else. Ugh, this is absurd to me. People can sit at the same table and eat with no masks on, but can't dance with masks on? not even socially distanced dancing! The venue...

Hi, are any other brides out there dealing with the no dancing rule? This is the rule in NY right now, I don't know about anywhere else. Ugh, this is absurd to me. People can sit at the same table and eat with no masks on, but can't dance with masks on? not even socially distanced dancing! The venue is like "oh people are getting created and playing games, games are fun" yes ma'am they are, at a freakin Baby Shower!!! To each their own but dancing is a big thing in my culture. We dance at all events and my wedding isn't going to be the 1st event that we don't dance at. So now I'm annoyed and don't know what my plan B is.

I would like to hear others' plan B's no matter what the reason you postponed. Our wedding is planned for January 2nd and we're going to get married that day regardless. I just don't know if I should do the ceremony and only postpone the reception. Postpone the whole thing and just get married at the courthouse. Have a ceremony somewhere different (like a restaurant) with a few people and do the whole thing over again later? And do we do our same date next year and make it a renewal, or no just do it like it's the 1st time or just pick a random date in the summer to do it? Like my brain is all over the place with this. Obviously a refund is not an option so I def have to have at least a 50 person reception at the current venue. They said I have up to a year of postponement. Throw everything at me. I'm open to everything at this point

26 Comments

  • Soon2Bemarried
    Devoted September 2022
    Soon2Bemarried ·
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    Yeah the rules aren’t clear and it’s so annoying! I’m in the city. They just reissued new restrictions on upper manhattan and Staten Island. Cuomo has the final say so at the end of the day since he’s governor but him & de blasio’s tit for tat spats have been so annoying to deal with. Wishing for better leadership during these times!
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  • DabC
    Dedicated January 2021
    DabC ·
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    Everybody on my end is saying do the post wedding reception but I just feel like I'm going to be over it at that point, like it's already done we're married, we celebrated already lol. I don't know, I'm still thinking about it.

    And games, we love games, play games all the time at casual events but not for my wedding, no no no!

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I completely understand what you mean. I didn't want to postpone anything because I was ready to marry him. Canceled my bachelorette bc MOH got sick and she and my friends want to do something afterwards and I am kind of like nah, I am married now lol.
    I will ask you this... Would you feel your wedding day is ruined if you didn't have the reception with dancing? Sadly you're in a rough spot bc you want to keep your date but you want dancing and sadly Corona is what it is.
    This is just me, being around loved ones and having a good time even if just chilling would make me happy. We just went to a restaurant afterwards (granted dancing is not a big deal to me at my age nor is big parties... I prefer sitting and eating and socializing) and had a great time just drinking and conversing. I think you wouldn't really miss the no dancing piece but I don't know you well and I could be wrong. The happiest part of my day dad marrying him, him being happy and a great time and chilling with our good friends.
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  • DabC
    Dedicated January 2021
    DabC ·
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    So I know this sounds crazy to most ppl but the whole legally marrying him thing is not a big deal for me lol the actual wedding is more important to me. We're 37, been together since we were 17 (20 years) have 2 kids, a house.... us getting married is just a formality, we've been living that type of lifestyle. I used to say I didn't want to get married til I was 50 so the fact I gave into this is already a big deal so yeah, I want the wedding to feel like a wedding.

    Another factor is we have events ALL the time! And especially since we're only allowed to have 50 ppl-- With the exception of maybe like 6-10 folks, all these ppl come to everything! So yeah, I need the wedding to feel like a wedding, not one of our casual fun events, that's why we picked the venue we did. A restaurant was actually a consideration in the beginning planning stages (initially we were going to do a surprise) and then I would have been fine with just eating, drinking and conversing.

    It's the trouble we went through to find a venue to make it feel like you're at a wedding (the building itself, the valet, the decor, the separate ceremony room) And then I chose brunch because I wanted a party brunch wedding. Now I'm not sure if you know what that is (I know my out of state family doesn't) but here in NY there is a thing called party brunch- at this brunch you will get a brunch entree, unlimited brunch drinks, and there is a DJ at the restaurant. The DJ is the key that makes it a party brunch. And this is predominantly a black thing (of course non-black ppl attend also). These brunches always eventually turn into a DANCE party. Even in the spots that don't have dance floors, we will get up and dance near our tables. So I'm going to ask my venue if dancing at your table is acceptable, if so, then I'll probably be satisfied enough and just carry on as planned.

    But yes, everyone not being able to get on the dance floor to hit all the line dances (electric slide, wobble, cupid shuffle, etc) is gonna hurt my heart lol

    AND I wanted to do an anniversary dance in place of the bouquet/garter toss Smiley sad (all married couples come to the dance floor and dance, the DJ will keep announcing who should leave {if you been married less than 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, etc.} until there is one remaining couple-- which would be his grandparents, they've been married 65 years. I would give them my bouquet.

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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I understand what you are saying. Marriage was important to me but for my now husband not as much because he knew we were together and we were committed but I wanted it to be official. Same thing kind of a formality I guess but we both see the benefits of it and are super happy. Well I cannot really say much except that the concept of a wedding varies person to person and for some couples it is the big reception with dancing which is totally fine. I could tell you how my minimony went and there was not a reception at all but a dinner with two of our good friends but honestly, no one could tell me it was not a wedding. I felt like a bride from start to finish. I agree to ask the venue about a little dancing because I see from what you are saying that it is super important to you. If I were in my 20's I think that would be for me but honestly at 38 just sitting and conversing and eating with my friends was perfect because that is what is fun for me on the daily. I do not get up and dance as much as I used to. My happy times are just sitting around with good conversation and if I think about it now, if we had more people I would have done the same. Side note, no brunch parties are not a thing in FL and truthfully I know few black people in the south that are into brunch at all lol. I am an exception as I live for brunch. Would your house hold a reception or do you know anyone with a clubhouse where you could have an after party with some dancing? I feel every bride should have a day that makes her feel special and you know what you want to make it feel like a wedding and you should have that.

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2020
    Katie ·
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    Hi DabC! If it helps, we had our wedding and reception in August. Our venue had a no dancing rule as well with the exception of significant dances. We added a speech (man of honor, best man and my groom) and added significant dances (traditional first dance, dad and me, mother and groom, Man of Honor and me, groom and grandmother). This ate up a lot of typical “dancing time” yet felt very natural. Last thirty minutes guests did dance and my family is Greek so we did end up Greek dancing. Our guests did space out on the dance floor and everyone was safe. Hope this helps and for what it’s worth, several guests loved the additional special dances and we got a lot of positive feedback that it was not boring at all! ❤️
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