nj covid Wedding Advice - Help!

No, not in a similar situation. Never wanted the big wedding experience. We are only having 3 guests.

If you are unavle to postpone or get a partial refund then I recommend you warn guests about them taking extra precautions and recommending those that are high risk to consider zooming in. It's ultimately the guests' choice of whether to attebd or not. No one can force them.

Are you able to downsize the guest list if postponing isn't an option? That way, you can spread out tables further apart, and possibly add more tables so that you can put fewer people at each table. I recommend asking your venue to waive the minimum guest count if they're not going to let you postpone. I would also add precautions such as placing hand sanitizer at each table, requiring masks, etc.

View Quoted Comment Hi Lisa!


Thanks so much for your response! So we are already downsizing from 250-275 down to 125-150. Our contract says that we are required to pay the amount of 125 guests whether they show or not. Our thinking is if there will not be any flexibility on the minimum agreed upon either.
NY weddings are only permitting 50 guests. Some of the weddings on the news are showing “super spreader” events with 80-100 guests. Sure they were not following safety measures as well as they should have been, but with the amount of cases reaching higher marks it seems like there is a higher risk in general.
The venue is definitely following protocols with spacing out tables, hand sanitizer, etc. and we are researching other ways to add extra safety to the equation.

I work at a hospital & my fiancé is a firefighter/paramedic- we get exposed on the daily too. As such, we will be offered & will do the first wave of the vaccine. I just contacted our venue & they have changed their original max capacity from 250 to 160. Our guest list is around 90 but we do have a Plan B guest list set up. The venue stated they have changed the total per table from 12 to 10 & will have the tables 6 feet apart. Will have plenty of masks & hand sanitizers available.

I haven't been through that personally but I seen many brides on here who experienced the same exact thing unfortunately,

Oh, this is awful.

Honestly, I think this is one of those things where you might want to contact our Governor. (He was on fire today with an illegal party in my city.) While he's allowing weddings, I think this might still violate some safety regulations. (I believe the wedding part may only apply to the ceremony? Don't quote me on that, I'm really not sure.)

I'd also get a lawyer involved. Being able to host the event is not the same thing as being able to provide the event contracted for...

I say go with your gut!! I was having an extreme amount of anxiety about having 45 people at our wedding in a few weeks and so we ended up cancelling and decided to elope just us. Regardless of whatever social distancing they can provide, if you are having alcohol, once people start drinking the masks will come off. Also, if you are going to lose the deposit no matter what you could wait it out a little bit. I am not sure how it has been in NJ but they have recently increased restrictions in PA where we were supposed to get married. Ultimately it is your choice, but make the decision that you will feel comfortable with at the end of the day Best of luck to you!!

Omg that is awful 😢 I’m so sorry you are going through this with your venue. I have not experienced it but maybe ask again if there is something that can be done to shrink your guest list. I’m in NJ too and we originally had a guest list if 135 and wanted to shrink to 50, but our caterer can’t go below 100 and we just have too many people flying in and those that fall in the at-risk category so ultimately we decided to do our ceremony with just immediate family then postpone our reception to ‘22. Our venue has done this with other couples and I was getting anxiety and stress about just having 50 people even though our venue has followed all CDC and NJ state guidelines. Try to talk to them again. I hope they an understand your feelings and concern

Actually....only the ceremony is allowed that many. The reception is capped at 10 if indoors. Most venues are turning a blind eye to this. Also, dance floors are supposed to be closed.

Indoor wedding ceremonies and receptions may be held while following appropriate gathering limits.

• Indoor wedding ceremonies must be limited to 150 people or 25% of a room's capacity -- whichever number is lower.
• Indoor wedding receptions must comply with the limits on general indoor gatherings which are currently limited to 10 people. All attendees at indoor gatherings must wear face coverings and socially distance.

In addition to complying with the gatherings limits outlined above, any establishments that serve food or alcohol, including banquet halls and wedding venues, must also comply with the health and safety protocols for indoor and outdoor dining, including prohibiting consumption of food or beverages indoors between 10 pm and 5 am.

Unfortunately, dance floors at all venues are closed due to the high-risk of spreading COVID-19 in these spaces, where many individuals may be in close contact with one another.

Wondering what you decided to do?!
I am concerned about my May wedding. NYC is currently very restricted. Although I do believe in May things will change. I don't think restrictions will entirely be lifted. As Virginia said there is no dancing allowed. Currently, NYC restricted indoor dining as well. I am not even sure how my venue is handling this.
For me, there is no point to have my wedding at a venue if it won't be an actual event. The amount that was paid for was to host an event not a dinner and not in a tent outside. A venue is chosen for its amenities and aesthitics. Settling for less and paying the same, is not realistic. I can have a backyard wedding and pay thousands less. I understand that businesses are suffering because of this and it is not anyones fault. However, to postpone or put guest at risk just to do business is unfair for couples. I postponed 3x, hoping that 2021 would be very different. Couples cant keep postponing just hoping things will change, there is no guarantee that late 2021 will be better or 2022. We are waiting until late February to make changes. But at this point, we just really want our money back so we can move on with our lives. A wedding itself is stressful to plan and adding this to the mix make it much more difficult.Sorry for my rant!

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We had our wedding planned for 12/19/2020, after downsizing x 2, we just decided to elope just us two. BEST. DECISION. EVER! It was literally ZERO stress and we didn't put any of our friends or family at risk of getting sick! Go with your gut feeling! If I were you, I would choose to elope as I said it was the best decision we could have made. We are hoping to have a big party either this year or next, but there is zero pressure! I would get your money back while you still can!! Just my opinion