No Alcohol

Your guests are adults and can handle themselves. They don't need to and shouldn't be "babysat".

ETA: I think that since you and your FI are in recovery it is okay not to have alcohol if you two aren't comfortable yourselves. After so many years of sobriety, I would think you have been around alcohol since then and you will encounter it many times in the future. But choosing to do so because you are worried about the behavior of others is no excuse. Other people enjoy a drink, especially at a wedding, and should be allowed to do so.

Oh, Linda. Gird your loins.

You need to properly host your guests. This means a catered meal with alcohol. You don't have to babysit your guests. If you don't give them alcohol, they are going to find a way to bring it in. Which is going to open you up to more liability than if you had a bartender monitoring the use of your guests. Further, your guests are adults and they should be treated as such. For example, if I travel to a wedding, pay for a hotel, buy a gift, buy a new outfit, etc. I expect to be able to have a drink with my dinner. End of story.

You don't need to babysit your guests either way. They are adults. Also, when serving alcohol you should have a bartender. That person can cut people off if it becomes necessary, and they have insurance in case something does happen due to alcohol.

If you want to appease guests, Do beer and wine, to reduce the babysitting and save yourself the headache of complainers. But honestly, it's YOUR day so make it what you want, that's my thoughts at least

Congrats on your sobriety. Only way to do that etiquette wise is small intimate ceremony and small cake and punch reception afterwards. It has to be at a non meal time, like 2:00 ceremony, cake/punch immediately after, 2 hours tops imo. Some will say reception is about thanking your guests and it is, so if all out dinner, dancing, etc. You will have to provide booze for your guests imo.

I disagree totally with all of the above posts. you are absolutely not obligated to provide alcohol at your wedding, and sobriety is a really good reason not to. (congrats, by the way! that's a huge accomplishment.) if there is anyone on your guest list who would be offended at not being served alcohol under these circumstances, i would think twice before inviting them anyway.

Fitz for the win.

Congratulations, first of all, on your years.

MK? If I spend the money to come to a wedding, which is estimated at 700-1000.00 PP....

I expect a drink.

You don't have to have obvious, over the top alcohol service; wine and beer, served by bartenders, will be just fine.

Your reception IS about thanking your guests, and a vast majority of adults would enjoy a drink or two at a party.

Personally, if you are doing a small intimate wedding with maybe 20 or less guests (who I would assume know you and your FH are recovering) then I would understand no alcohol. However, if it is a larger group at least do beer and wine.

Congratulations on your sobriety. If it's your own temptation you're worried about, you're going to have to be around it at some point in life. It's just inevitable. You need to be strong in your desire to stay straight and at least offer beer & wine to your guests. If you have friends that are willing to get out of control at your wedding, I think you need to ask yourself two things. A) are they really your friends B) should you invite them if it's likely they'll be out of control. I would hope that adults could be responsible enough to be trusted with alcohol consumption at a friend's wedding.

Congrats on the sobriety!

The bartender will be capable of managing the consumption. I think you should have at least beer or wine available.

@celia weird because if i spend money to go to a wedding the only thing i expect is to have fun celebrating with people that i love. why should i expect more than that? expecting or demanding a drink at the wedding of two people in recovery is pretty selfish, in my opinion.

It's not selfish at all. It's what adults do unless everyone at the wedding is also in recovery.

I've done several weddings with one or both people sober.

They all offer a limited bar.

MK ? It's not weird. It's adult.

And OP? The best way to handle it is to either have a very limited bar or to have a cake and punch deal.

@MK. Part of recovery is learning how to be around alcohol and people drinking.

Most people spend $1000 to attend a local wedding, double or triple that for an out of town or DW.

For a guest list of 100, that is $100,000 at minimum in aggregate guests will spend to attend YOUR wedding.

Damn straight they deserve a proper thank you and free drinks. Just because YOU think it's okay to basically tell your guests they're not worth a glass of beer or wine, doesn't mean that they aren't. Good hosting means catering to your guests, not putting yourself first.

Paging @harleybeachbride- (don't y'all wish we had tagging omg) she is also several years sober and has good perspective on this. Congrats on your sobriety.

First, congratulations on your many years.

UO: I feel as if YOU personally don't feel comfortable around alcohol yet, you should maybe have a cake and punch style reception. I've never fought your battle, so who am I to tell you what you should be comfortable with.

However, if it was JUST an issue of not wanting adults to get too drunk or the cost, I would be much more harsh. Team open bar in that case.

ETA: I feel as if I should clarify myself. The reception is about the guests. So, if the bride and groom don't feel comfortable around alcohol, they should have a reception where alcohol isn't expected, like an afternoon cake and punch style reception.

You should serve alcohol to your guests if you're having an evening reception with a meal. Always. Receptions ARE NOT (AND YES THIS IS YELLING) FOR THE COUPLE.

My sis in law had a dry wedding because they both were struggling, and it was just as amazing if there was alcohol. Congrats on your years!!!!! Something to be so very proud of!!

No wedding without alcohol is 'just as amazing' as a wedding with alcohol.

Congrats on your accomplishment! Know it is not an easy road. We are not having any alcohol at our wedding either. Several family members are working with new sobriety achievements so we don't feel the need. Everyone that knows our decision has been completely supportive. Go with what works for you guys!

Celia yes it can be... it's about the bride and groom that day... it's their wedding

It is YOUR wedding and you can do as you see fit. If when you imagine your big day alcohol is not apart of it then don't have it! As mentioned earlier if your guests have a problem attending a dry wedding then they don't have to come!