Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Savvy July 2021

No bridal party, but i still want "bridesmaids"!

Adriana, on April 12, 2020 at 10:21 AM Posted in Planning 0 15

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hey everyone! My FH and I already know that we want a very small/private ceremony (only about 30 people of immediate family members and closest friends). I don't want official "bridesmaids" per say because we don't plan on having anyone stand up with us at the ceremony. I do however have 4 very close girlfriends who I would like to be my "unofficial bridesmaids". Ideally they would be involved in the planning to whatever degree they would like and would be there to get ready with me day of. My question is how to I ask/explain this to them? I was thinking maybe a small gift like a robe? I don't want them to feel like they are going to have to spend tons of money on dresses, shower, hair/makeup, etc. It's going to be very low key and informal. I just want them to know that they are special to me despite not standing up in the ceremony. Any unique ideas/suggestions would be great!

Flag
Hide content

15 Comments

Latest activity by Adriana, on April 14, 2020 at 2:53 PM

Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on April 12, 2020 at 10:44 AM
Flag

Hide content
I would just say due to the size of your wedding and personal choose a you decided not to have a wedding party but you would love to have your closest friends be involved in your bachelorette party and your bridal shower if you choose to have one. You may have to organize these events yourself or have your mother do so because you don’t have an official wedding party. But these events would probably be on a small scale due to the size of your wedding so it wouldn’t take a lot of coordination.
- Reply
Champion July 2019
Veronica · on April 12, 2020 at 10:46 AM
Flag

Hide content
I would just tell them you have decided to forgo having a bridal party, but that you would love it if they would get ready with you the morning of the wedding so that you can still spend time with them.
- Reply
Expert February 2020
Givemeallthepups · on April 12, 2020 at 10:47 AM
Flag

Hide content
This is what I did as well. I told my friends we weren’t having a wedding party but I would love it if they were with me the morning of. They still offered to host a bachelorette and shower and asked if they could also get their hair / makeup done. I also bought them gifts still.
- Reply
Devoted June 2020
MeetTheRobinsons · on April 12, 2020 at 11:35 AM
Flag

Hide content
I think you already have your answer and it sounds perfect to me. Congratulations on your engagement 🎁💍
- Reply
Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on April 12, 2020 at 12:42 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Exactly this. Just ask them to get ready with you. Even a traditional wedding party isn’t responsible for helping you plan.
- Reply
Master October 2021
Mrs.a · on April 12, 2020 at 12:49 PM
Flag

Hide content
We’re having a very intimate wedding and my friends have been involved with helping me plan, choose a dress, etc. they’re not necessarily going to be with me getting ready the day of as I plan to do that with my mom and FMIL. As for the rest of the day my childhood best friend will read a prayer during the ceremony and that’s about it. We plan to do photos with everyone since it is so intimate.
In other words, you do you and basically what I’m saying is I’ve lightly talked with each of my friends explaining that there wouldn’t be a bridal party but we’re keeping it low key so that we can spend quality time with our close friends and immediate families. They are completely understanding and happy for us.
- Reply
Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on April 12, 2020 at 3:03 PM
Flag

Hide content
Even a traditional wedding party isn't required to help you plan, or throw a bachelorette or a shower. You can invite your friends to get ready with you. Anything else they offer to do is up to them.
- Reply
Devoted October 2020
Waitingtomarry20 · on April 12, 2020 at 4:06 PM
Flag

Hide content
Just ask them. We are having a small wedding as well, under 35, and no bridal party. I have certain family members assigned tasks throughout the wedding process and they have been willing to help.
- Reply
Devoted November 2019
Jessica · on April 12, 2020 at 11:36 PM
Flag

Hide content
I did this! I just flat out asked them verbally and explained what I had in mind. I made sure they knew they could do as little or as much as able since some had kids. I did later give them a gift to thank them for their time and to show appreciation! We still did bachelorette, planned together and they helped with getting ready, set up and we're included in photos, but we're not part or processional and did not stand at ceremony, nor did they have to buy expensive dresses. I think it worked great!
- Reply
Dedicated October 2021
Kayla · on April 14, 2020 at 3:57 AM
Flag

Hide content
I would be thrilled if one of my friends asked me to do that! To get to be involved in all the fun activities, without having to buy an expensive dress you’ll never wear again. Just be honest and explain the situation, get them a gift like you mentioned. I don’t believe we have to follow all the traditions when it comes to weddings. Do what works for you and your fiancé
- Reply
Super September 2020
Naikesha · on April 14, 2020 at 4:15 AM
Flag

Hide content
I say your wording is fine. since we have chosen to do a small/intimate wedding we decided against a formal wedding party. But i can't see myself getting married on this day without getting dress with you ladies who mean so much to me. So please except my ask to be my unofficial bridal party and join me on the morning of as I get ready to say Yes to my forever Love.
- Reply
Super September 2019
Courtney · on April 14, 2020 at 5:29 AM
Flag

Hide content
I would just say what you said in your post! You’re including them as your best friends but there won’t be an official “bridal party” with special dresses and events.
- Reply
Savvy July 2021
Adriana · on April 14, 2020 at 2:49 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

That is perfect! Thanks so much
- Reply
Savvy July 2021
Adriana · on April 14, 2020 at 2:50 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

Oh that's perfect, thank you
- Reply