No Bridesmaids/Is This Tacky??

printed it on nice paper and I make jewelry, so I was going to give them a few handmade pieces and the card and call it a day. Just wanted some advice to make sure it wasn’t tacky in any way.

Just A FYI: My friends are awesome and would’ve gladly accepted bridesmaid duties without any complaints, this just worked best for me and my situation

It's thoughtful. And you're right about bridal parties - they seem to become nightmares. Your friends will thank you!

IDK. While I'm good with a friendship card and being there to help and/or listen, I don't think I like the idea of mentioning anything about not being a bridesmaid.

I think if you don't want to have a bridal party, that's great...and it's nice of you to give your friends the gift you described...but I don't know how I feel about the card with the poem included. I read it and tried to imagine myself getting it...I would think the entire time while reading it "oh she's asking me to be a BM!"...but then the end is like NOPE, just be my friend. It just seemed a little misleading to me. Maybe just give them the jewelry you mentioned and explain to them in person how much you appreciate them letting you vent, etc...exactly as you wrote in the post. I think that would be really nice.

I agree with MrsA2B. I love the genuine thought, I just wouldn't emphasize that they're not bridesmaids.

That's really sweet!

I think it's really sweet!

I'm not having bridesmaids either, and also a 3 month engagement! I simply did not want to deal with the stress and planning of everything from 300 miles away. Plus I wanted to be very frugal. There might be some hurt feelings, but we are doing it our way with our money, and will have a nice little dinner afterwards for those important to us.

Yeah, I agree with Summer. It feels impersonal too. I think it's lovely that you want to give them a gift and thank them though. How about just writing a personal card to each saying how much you appreciate her support and friendship?

@MrsA2B & @Summer, I always joked with them how I won't make them be my bridesmaids, and clarified this once I got engaged... so they already know I'm taking the short and simple route. I thought it would be fitting since they already knew. And we're all super close so I just thought it would be kind of fun.

Maybe I'll have to rethink it?

I think the sentiment is sweet and your heart is in the right place, but the execution is a little bit of a let-down. Because after reading your original post, I was reading the poem and I thought it was going to turn out that you asked them to be bridesmaids after all, but later on in the process so they wouldn't think you wanted them to do anything besides stand up.

I think that the poem is sweet but the end is a little odd, i think that you really seem to want to have them as BMs. its not too late to ask them, they don't even need bouquets or matching dresses etc...

they may be really honored.

i am definitely like you, i haven't asked my BMs to do anything other than get a dress that my mom actually payed for. i want it to be the least stress possible.

I can see where some may find it misleading... maybe there is a way to reword it or add something up top (like a silly title - 'ode to a non-bridesmaid' or something, lol), so that the gist is more immediately obvious.

Is it misleading even though I've told them years ago, months ago, and currently that I'm not doing a bridal party and keeping it short and simple? We go over wedding details all the time and they know this. Maybe as I hand it to them revoice that "ya'll know I'm not doing bridesmaids but wanted to get you guys something for helping" ...? ?

I thought I had this gift in the bag and could check it off! Dangit. Haha I may be too attached and just need to get over the card idea.

Thanks for all the opinions!

While I think your intentions are sweet and sincere...A. It's not necessary and B. It's basically just saying "ha, you're not a bridesmaid" I just wouldn't say anything to them unless they ask and then you can just say "We decided not to have a bridal party, otherwise you would be a bridesmaid for sure!" I think it's just confusing to give them a gift and make them read all of that to at the end say "Sorry, you're not my bridesmaid"

I think I also read it as though you were going to ask them to be your BMs and then at the end is like NOPE! I think I would just say something like "i appreciate our friendship and thanks for helping me throughout this time etc." I agree with Tania that some other friends might feel left out if they find out about this.

If I read this, I would assume it was a BM "proposal" and then get to the end and be let down. Sorry, just being honest

@ MrsBest2B..... But for their situation, I don't think it would be saying "Ha you're not a bridesmaid" It would be more of a sigh of relief for them (just from what they have told me) to not worry with the duties on top of their other friends weddings, and to just come and enjoy my day with me

edited: I can't spell today

Looks like I'll have to rethink this

Giving them a card and gift for their support is sweet and generous, but I do not like the poem. It kind of comes off as a slap in the face at the end.

I think it's sweet and thoughtful but also a little odd. I think you have a nice glass of wine with each of them, one at a time, and thank them for being there for you. Maybe invite them to do readings at the wedding? I had a great "Keys to Love' reading where 7 different people came forward to read romantic movie quotes (on manilla tags hanging from keys". It was fabulous, and it let those people know how special they were without obligating them to be in an actual 'bridal party".

I agree with Jess and the others. The whole time I would think I was being asked to be a bridesmaid and then the end is like NOPE!