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Dedicated September 2015

No Bridesmaids/Is This Tacky??

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Bailey, on July 23, 2015 at 1:09 PM

So, we're not having a bridal party. I'm the first of my friends to get married and never experienced the true duties of a bridesmaid, but as told by my close friends... it's no piece of cake (no pun intended . All I ever heard were complaints of their other friends being bridezillas and the...

So, we're not having a bridal party.

I'm the first of my friends to get married and never experienced the true duties of a bridesmaid, but as told by my close friends... it's no piece of cake (no pun intended . All I ever heard were complaints of their other friends being bridezillas and the stress and cost of being a bridesmaid. Although I know I wouldn't be as demanding as the other brides sounded, I ultimately decided that **PERSONAL OPINION** I would never want my friends to go through the added stress and costs when they're all in nursing school/just starting their "big girl jobs" and well, I really liked the idea of not having to find bridesmaid dresses and dealing with it all since I only have 3 months to plan this shindig. And let me tell you, it's been so easy! But anyways, they are my good friends and I did want to give them a little something for listening to me vent and helping with wedding decisions.... So I came up with this card, (cont. in comments).....

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45 Comments

Master December 2015
OriginalKD · on July 23, 2015 at 3:35 PM
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I would prefer a handwritten note expressing appreciation of our friendship over a poem. Poems are getting overdone and are becoming a little kitchy. But that is my two cents.
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Master July 2015
annakay511 · on July 23, 2015 at 5:26 PM
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It sounds like in your situation, this makes sense. You're young and all your friends are just starting out or still in school so have limited budgets and time off. You're also planning a wedding in a very short amount of time, which compounds all the things that bridesmaids have to do. I like the idea of giving them a card thanking them for their friendship and support, but I don't like the poem. Just write a personal message inside- that will mean much more!
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Master November 2015
OriginalRandi · on July 23, 2015 at 5:47 PM
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Bailey, the gesture is so sweet.

Since you asked for opinions on all of it, I would have to say that I'm almost completely 100% against poems in these circumstances, unless it's a short humorous poem. Besides what the other women here have stated about the "as a friend, not a bridesmaid" verbage at the end, the wedding stuff forced into these kinds of poems messes with the meter and the rhythm of the poetry and drives me up the wall as a poetry student. But that's coming from a place of unadulterated poetry snobbery, so feel free to ignore it if you'd like. IMO a handwritten sentiment is vastly preferable on all levels.

Anyway, best of luck!
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Dedicated September 2015
Sandra Kay · on July 23, 2015 at 6:06 PM
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I like the poem and sentiment but the last line is a smidge harsh. FH and I are having siblings stand with us, but have asked our closest friends to be sort of "honorary" bridesmaids & groomsmen. My girls will wear purple & his guys are all wearing super hero socks. It's a way to make them a more special part of the day without having a large entourage at the altar. Our friends have been super receptive to our plan and so supportive.

Maybe on the last line of the card you could give your friends a title other than bridesmaid? For example: as my honored guest, etc. It would sound sweeter to ask them to be there as (title of your choosing) vs not a bridesmaid.
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Master July 2015
FormerUser · on July 23, 2015 at 6:45 PM
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Yeah, those last two lines are almost like a gut punch. I really feel like this is kind of unnecessary...why not give them a little gift instead? We didn't have BP either, but I bought custom wine glasses for some friends and family who really just went above and beyond for us, and they drank out of those during our reception.
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