No children policy at our wedding, but officiant just had a baby.

View Quoted Comment Exactly.
This is part of his job as a pastor, officiating weddings. I’m sure he feels a connection with many of his flock. Not sure why that means his wife and baby have to be there.
I am having children at my wedding so this is not an anti kid thing. It’s an anti people who think they get to impose on other people thing.

View Quoted Comment I agree. It sounds to me like these parents need to learn that they can't bring their children everywhere. Either they will have to leave the baby with someone or the wife will need to stay home.

If this mother works then after 6 weeks she is going to have to leave the baby home regardless of her breastfeed or bottle feeding. It's not like she is going to tell her work that her baby needs to come to work with her, that would be insane. Your wedding is more than 6 weeks away. She can leave the kid home and like I said before if she refuses then she can stay home.

View Quoted Comment Definitely. I just find it very unprofessional on the pastors part. He needs to respect their wishes. No kids means no kids. I'm sure he knew that before he took the job and it's not like his wife got pregnant and gave birth over night.

View Quoted Comment Agreed!!!!

Why would someone you have hired to marry you bring his wife to your wedding? I understand, from ready above, that he is your fiancés pastor. However, that does not mean he is considered a guest unless you are sending him an invitation.

If you do not want children there (which I don't blame you), don't invite him or his wife to the reception. He can officiate and then head home.

View Quoted Comment So are these people you are sending an invitation to, to attend your wedding? If so, they should be treated like any other guest. What would you say to any other guest in their situation? If these are not people you are sending invitations to, but rather simply hiring the pastor for his services, then I would have a talk with him about not bringing his wife and child to your event. It looks like your wedding is in a couple months, and there will likely still be Covid restrictions in place at that time. I don’t know why anyone would want to bring their wife and infant to an event where they could catch covid (or other viruses) anyway.

View Quoted Comment Right! It’s just a bit frustrating. I know it’s a big deal to my fiancé for this man to marry us. So I’m trying to compromise.

You and your fiance together need to decide if having this pastor is important enough to allow him to force your hand. You also need to realize that if you bend the rules for him you need to then bend the rules for others. Do you really think people with babies are going to care who the kid belongs to, absolutely not. I've learned through out life that people don't really care who or why you bent the rules just that you better do it for them as well.


If you really don't want to bend the rules for the pastor which honestly I don't think you should, then you need to sit down with your fiance and explain to him all the reasons why you shouldn't cave to this guy. And see if he would be willing to hire someone else someone who can actually be professional.

View Quoted Comment Maybe you could just make sure she sits at the very back of the venue next to the door in case the baby gets fussy

Babies still nursing are generally the exception to the no kids rule. At least i've always seen that at "no kids" weddings.

If your wedding isn't till May, I'd politely tell the pastor they need to get a sitter or call up grandma and grandpa. Like someone else pointed out, most jobs expect women to come back after 6 weeks (which is ridiculous, but this is just one night), so it seems odd to me that they can't leave their baby for even a few hours after a few months. They might only end up attending the ceremony and an hour or two of your reception, but it certainly seems like they can be baby-free at least for your ceremony...