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mizzy713
Savvy October 2010

No Engagement Ring

mizzy713, on September 11, 2009 at 10:23 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 32

The FH & I have plans on marrying sometime late next year. I still have yet to get a formal proposal or a ring. Part of me feels bad for "expecting" a ring since he's already done so much for me (I moved into his place & only contribute about a fourth of our living expenses since I just got out of school & only working part time; he's been very patient as I look for work). YET, another part of me feels left out, that I never had the BIG proposal. We've been talking about marriage for a while & now that we've made wedding plans, I feel like maybe he doesn't feel it necessary to get me a ring. I've hinted towards a ring & have even showed him pics of rings I like. (I can't ask him if he plans on getting me a ring; it's supposed to be a surprise, right?) Anyways, I get uncomfortable when people ask me about his proposal. I just kinda brush off the question.

Just wondering if there are any brides-to-be in similiar situations & what are your thoughts? How do you deal with the questions?

32 Comments

Latest activity by Tiffany, on September 21, 2009 at 7:10 AM
  • Brandy
    VIP March 2013
    Brandy ·
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    I didnt get the big proposal either, we talked about gettin married over the computer!! We got my ring when we had the money and its not an expensive one but that is ok and i picked it out. You shouldnt be uncomfortable just tell them you have not got the ring yet. They dont need to know all the details just yet Smiley smile

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  • Mrs Knight
    Super September 2009
    Mrs Knight ·
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    We discussed getting married and decided now was the right time with him deploying soon. We knew that we didn't want a winter wedding and Oct was taken by my parents so we went for our 3 year anniversary. I had bought my dress and had our wedding venue picked out before he actually proposed. I knew the proposal was coming as we designed my ring together and I waited in the car when he went in to pick it up. I wish I didn't know and it had been a surprise with an out pouring of his love but honestly the only thing that matters is that in a week we will be husband and wife I would do it all without rings. But I admit I felt odd trying on dresses when I didn't have a ring but I knew that I only had less than 3 months to plan so I couldn't wait on a ring.

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  • mizzy713
    Savvy October 2010
    mizzy713 ·
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    Thanks for sharing sachele... i didn't even think about when i'm going to vendors.... hahaha. actually at 1st it didn't bother me that i didn't have a ring till we started making plans and the questions came. but i'm hoping for an xtra small "gift" package for xmas this year Smiley winking

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  • Mrs Knight
    Super September 2009
    Mrs Knight ·
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    I understand how you feel just don't let that get in the way of planning.

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  • I
    Super December 2010
    icart ·
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    I am with sneak 905, I was asked over the computer hahah, I don't mind not having a fancy fun asking. I know I am going to marry the man of my dreams. I don't care about a ring to show off before the wedding. The ring on my finger that day is the one that means more. But if he wants to do a ring then let him. Let him pick and that will be his way of showing he does listen to you. He has seen the style you like and you never know Christmas is coming.. He just might wait tell 12/10 this year to give you the ring. Just wait and see.

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  • WdbrgeBride
    Savvy February 2015
    WdbrgeBride ·
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    Much to my surprise, I had SUCH a hard time with this topic when I got engaged. Who knew that I really did care so much about the engagement ring and what it symbolized?! My FH had ordered my ring but got so excited that he proposed MONTHS before it was supposed to be here. It was odd being "engageed" without a ring for those months...or having my "real ring." I realized how common it is (for us Ladies especially) to grab the hand to see the prized "ring" once you announce you're engaged. I found myself starting to "explain" myself to others..."this isn't my ring/it's on the way, blah blah." Definitely don't let this deter you from what's really and truly important! This whole process has shown me that it doesn't always map up with the dreams and visions I had of what the big "moment" would be like in my head. I'm learning to be more flexible. Good Luck and hope you get that "extra" Xmas present this year.

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  • Gershelda
    VIP October 2009
    Gershelda ·
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    No big to-do proposal here, either. We were laying in the bed and he asked...nothing exciting, or fancy, just told me he loved me and asked. I didn't get my ring until a month or so later and I picked it out. It isn't important, but the wedding bands are another story....those are what means the most..

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  • Shell
    Master June 2009
    Shell ·
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    Maybe you can ask him... "what do i say when people ask me about our proposal?" and see what he says??

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  • Amanda D.
    Super July 2010
    Amanda D. ·
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    It doesn't have to be a surprise either. There are plenty of women who go WITH their FH's to pick out their engagement ring. Maybe suggest this?

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  • MrsDevine
    Master August 2010
    MrsDevine ·
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    I think that even mentioning that its only bothering you a little is such a good thing! theres way too many girls out there who start hinting and showing their guy the ring they want before marriage has even popped into the guys head! one friend of mine has showed her boyfriend the ring she wants... and the diamond she want. seperately! its like a few thousand altogether! to be honest, the BIG proposal is only something that seems important when everyone starts asking, "how did he do it?" once thats over and you start planning, its all about him. i got a big proposal, in the airport, when i picking him up from a missions trip to guatemala. but my ring is very small. most people make a weird face when i tell them that its my engagement ring, but who cares what everyone else thinks! its my ring and i LOVE IT. lol. (not a jewelry person) its all about you girl

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  • noel
    Devoted May 2010
    noel ·
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    I didn't get a big romantic proposal either. We have been discussing marriage for a while and made the final decision while visitig the zoo. (I LOVE zoos btw!), so I tell everyone he proposed in the zoo. In the end I think that's better though, having talked about it in detail than getting a proposal out of the blue.

    Since I work with delicate fabrics I can't wear the 'traditional' mounted engagement ring, so I don't get caught in them. So my ring is actually a 'fashion' ring. It's still white gold with diamonds, but it's flat. It didn't have the 'engagement' tag on it, so it was way cheaper.

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  • mizzy713
    Savvy October 2010
    mizzy713 ·
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    You gals are so awesome.! i feel so much better. like i said, it wasn't really a big deal till friends started asking about the ring and proposal. but I just considred devine's idea about rings getting in the way. i work in the medical field and constantly putting on and taking off gloves and washing my hands. a ring would be such a hassle... but if he does present me with one.... I'll just have to deal with it. hahaha

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  • futuremrsmcdonald
    Devoted September 2010
    futuremrsmcdonald ·
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    I didn't have the BIG proposal either but I have to say that we have been together so long that we finally decided that neither one of us is going anywhere so why not, I have to say that I would love to be wearing an engagement ring but the wedding day will make up for it all

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  • M
    Super November 2012
    mayo ·
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    I didn't get the big proposal either, you're not alone. I went months without a ring and we were talking about the wedding, set the date, picked the party and everything. I just got my ring on the 3rd and he asked me offically to marry me but not in a way I expected it to be, but in the end it's our story and thats what is special. And the Ring I love it, and it's very different it looks more like a wedding band, and he says its just simple, and thats exactally what it is, simple. And although I always (since being with him) dreamt about the day he'd give me this big awesome diamond, I absolutly love the ring I got now and it was well worth the wait.... he may surprise you, and if not well then thats just one extra ring to add after the wedding for your anniversy ring or something like that.. :-d

    best wishes

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  • amandababy_ily
    Beginner September 2010
    amandababy_ily ·
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    You aren't alone babe. My fiancee proposed to me on a drunken night, which never happens for me. I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life but I wanted to have that BIG moment when I cried and just felt like the Queen I am. Smiley smile ... Hes getting me a ring and I got to pick it out but I cant know when its coming. It does seem like its just a bill to my fiancee but I know he loves me and everything will work out for you. I promise. I dont pay many of our bills either due to I just got out of school and Im fixing to go back for something else lol. He really works with me and Im sure your fiancee doesn't mind bc he loves you if he is even considering marriage. most men these days don't ask if they aren't 100% sure they are with the woman of their dreams. Amanda Lauren.

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  • L
    Dedicated June 2010
    laadeedah ·
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    No proposal here, either. Honestly if anyone did the proposing it was me, 11 years ago. We just planned on getting married at some point when all our ducks were in a row and decided earlier this year to just get on with it. Smiley smile

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  • L
    Dedicated June 2010
    laadeedah ·
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    Actually I did ask him "If you did propose, how would you do it?" and he said something like "If I did the whole on one knee thing I would say: Darling, you are the most wonderful person in the world and you make the whole world glow for me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, making you happy. There's nothing I want more than to be your husband. Will you be my wife?". I almost cried. He didn't even have to think about it, either, it just rolled on out of his mouth like it was some profound truth of the universe... as he sat on our couch and we watched TV together like an old married couple. Ahhh...

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  • mmariel8
    Dedicated November 2010
    mmariel8 ·
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    Ahhh how many of us in similar situations! We totally understand you mizzy! I still dont have my ring and havent had the "BIG PROPOSAL". I dont mind though because i know it will happen when hes ready and i dont nag him with questions about it because hes trying to be unique about it. The reason we picked our date is because i said i want to marry either the spring or fall and we figured this spring was too soon to plan the wedding we want so i started looking at venues and we booked it since the fall is very popular for brides and HE had fallen in love with a certain locale that only had ONE day left in the fall available! LOL

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  • B
    Just Said Yes June 2010
    Beverly ·
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    Still haven't gotten my ring yet either was expecting it in august right before our 2 year anniversary and with the the expense of going out of town for that it didn't come the day after our official anniversary my FH's father passed away suddenly so i haven't really been excited about much lately and would just like to spend the remainder of my life with him ring or not it really isn't that important

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  • C
    Super June 2011
    ChancesAre4u ·
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    I didn't get the big proposal either. I came home from work one day and said "I want to get married"...he said "Okay..." and that was it! We been together almost 6 years, so eventually it was going to happen. We picked out our bridal set in July...and when people ask where is the ring? I say "it's in jail, and I put money on it's commissary when I can?....lol, we actually went to "visit" the rings yesterday and put money on them...we only owe a balance of $180 and a couple of cents. They are on my profile. I love them, I took the pic with my cell phone, so the pic is kinda of crappy, but in person they are absolute stunning. I love that our wedding bands match.

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