No Financial Help

We paid for our wedding. Both of my parent's are retired and while they offered to help pay it didn't feel right to take their retirement money for a wedding. MIL offered but we didn't take it because she's a widow and could use the money to pay off her mortgage.

We are paying for everything ourselves too. I'm ok with it as we are older, but yeah it stinks when you compare to others. The real kicker was when I went to a wedding show and a Day of Coordinator told me about how parents often hire her so their children won't bother them so much about wedding details. I just thought to myself, "must be nice!"

We are on the same boat. FH and I are paying for everything ourselves. We already knew from the beginning that it would be all on us, and never expected anything from the parents. My mom did offer to pay for some things but I declined, because I know of her financial situation.

At the end of the day, you can look back on everything you and your FH accomplished and say, WE DID THAT!
Good luck with everything in your last few days!

Yes girl. I feel like that's normal. I mean, I'm proud that we are paying for it ourselves but it would be nice if someone just sent us a big check to cover half of it

We paid for our own wedding. Most plan and pay for the wedding on their own. As it should be. It's your party.

OP I feel completely the same way. we can (just barely) and we will pay for everything on our own but it is really tough. Especially when you see people say "you should be doing things this way" or "well if you can't afford it then just cut your guest list" and those same people have parents paying for large amounts of their wedding. Thanks guess I don't deserve to celebrate with all of my family because my parents can't afford to help (or don't want to in the case of FH's family)

View Quoted Comment

A wedding is not a charity, it's an optional party. Having a go-fund me for it is just beyond inappropriate.

My coworker has stage 4 rare small cell cancer and is going to be out of work for a year. That warrants a go fund me.

You need some perspective.

It is more common than you think to not have any financial help for your wedding. Most pay for it themselves but the finish line is close!!

View Quoted Comment I don’t really understand this because it’s not a necessity. It would be different if you needed help paying bills, getting food on the table, or paying medical bills if you were ill. A wedding is a party. I mean, I AM jealous of those who make enough money to spend 40k on their wedding, but I never really wished I could get any money from my family.

Awww..I hear you. I guess I never even considered the idea that I would get any financial help at all. Lets just hope for tons of money as gifts which would be an absolute miracle! LOL. I think that you may have had to ask your parents for help. I hope the day is beautiful

It's actually more common these days for the Bride & Groom to pay for their own weddings. There are lucky ones out there that get help from family, but most of us don't.

We’re paying for our own wedding and there’s no jealousy involved. We’re the ones that decided to get married and throw a huge party, no one else.

View Quoted Comment

Isn't it crazy how quickly this thing adds up! YIKES. LOL. Good deal with saving and planning girl =)

Girl I feel your pain. 😔 FH and I are paying for EVERYTHING ourselves. And it’s getting to us. Not just us wanting to elope but also our relationship. It sucks 😫. People always say money is one of the worst things that can tear up people and I never knew what anyone was really talking about until you get into times like this. Our biggest issue is that we agreed to use his bonus/severance package that he received last year for our wedding. I told him everything is adding up to $10,000 however if we can cut corners (in decor, etc) we can and will to keep it as low as possible. Again he agreed to all of that. (I even got it down to $8000 as of now and I have honestly put in quite a bit of cash around 700 at least that I didn’t even have to put down because he didn’t want to spend anything. Oh and yet for him wanting to save all this money he still wants so many nice things! GRR)

Well now. It’s already almost over a year from that time and our wedding is quickly approaching with nothing really to show for it because he all of a sudden doesn’t want to spend any of that money and is saying he wants to wait until he gets his next bonus check. Which sometimes don’t come in until September. Our wedding is in OCTOBER. It’s just so dumb. The entire thing. Also when is it ever going to be time to get things done??? I keep hearing different ETA after a different ETA. and promise after promise and nothing ever falls through.

One thing I regret is not saving up money MYSELF so everything would be done by now and organized so I don’t have to stress and him and I wouldn’t fight anymore.
And I see his point of view as well. I can understand if he feels that he wants to save some back etc and I mean yes it is his hard earned money. However we made an agreement and I already told him we’re NOT spending all of this amount on the wedding.
Men. Seriously think they don’t listen 🤣
I’m just so ready for the wedding to be over with because all of this is not fun, not exciting, and I am tired of spending money on things that will only last a day.
Sorry y’all just had to vent a bit 😂

I relate to this so much! I am paying for everything myself, my fiancé isn’t paying for anything but his tux. My fiancé is in school full time and he graduates 10 days before the wedding so because of that he only makes enough money to pay for his own gas and food which is completely fine. His school is so important and I’m so happy for him accomplishing what he wanted. Although I know he would help if he could I still catch myself envying people who has help from their parents and even help from their FH. I honestly wish we would have just eloped but it’s too late now 🤷🏻‍♀️ I know the wedding will be beautiful and I am so proud of myself for doing everything without any help for as young as I am however it is hard not to envy those who had help.

You are not alone at all. My fiance and I are paying for everything ourselves as well. It sucks somewhat, but on the other hand I will get everything that I want and not have to sacrifice for others. Everything will work itself out and you're going to have a beautiful wedding! Congratulations!

Trust you are not the only one. Our parents will be there but as far as financial help it is all us... I just try to look at it as this is the first mountain it is us against the world and as long as we got each other we don't need nobody else. As long as the two of you are happy that is all that matters.

View Quoted Comment

This is exactly right! When my FH and I got engaged, we did so expecting to pay for everything ourselves and budgeted accordingly.

View Quoted Comment

Are you serious? That is very inappropriate.