No formal ceremony, just reception?

I feel like figuring this out - when to have the "short and sweet mini-ceremony" would make it more complicated and difficult. I've heard of people sitting at their dinner tables while the ceremony happens in that same room/space (perhaps due to weather conditions/back up plans, etc.), but not skipping the ceremony altogether and just having a quick "handing a diploma" type ceremony.

Why do you want to skip the ceremony? It doesn't have to be that long. If you talk to a professional officiant about what you want, he/she can make it short and sweet and to the point.

You know you can do a short and sweet ceremony before the reception? It doesn't have to be super formal or long. Look for an officiant that shares this vision. Having a mini ceremony in the middle of the reception would be odd. If people are dancing or eating they will have to stop

Do whatever you want.

I actually think it's a nice idea except you run the risk of people being caught off guard (in the bathroom, out for a smoke, etc) and missing it or even interrupting by walking in/through.

Ceremonies aren't usually to long. Unless you're doing a Catholic ceremony. You can still have a quick ceremony before then start the reception right after.

We are having a private ceremony earlier in the day. It will just be my fiance and I with our parents. And then that night having the reception. I do like the idea someone had about doing it right after everyone showed up for the reception.

We are skipping the ceremony and saving almost $2000 from doing that! This helped us cut the ceremony fee, officiant cost, and flowers for the ceremony.

However, we are doing a traditional asian tea ceremony at the hotel prior to the reception.

I've done some of these, with the ceremony at a random point in the evening. I've also done weddings where the cocktail hour was first, then the ceremony, then the party. And yes, private ones where everyone was invited to the reception but only the very immediate family to the ceremony.

Obviously, you can do whatever you want, but the ceremony shouldn't be presented or perceived as an afterthought. The cost won't be much different, the logistics, frankly, will probably be just as complicated if not moreso.

And honestly, isn't the ceremony the point? It's a milestone in your lives and in the lives of your guests. It doesn't have to be long or boring,but it should be significant.

You definitely don't have to have a long ceremony. Ours will be 15min max. Simple and to the point

Same, skipping the ceremony but will be doing tea ceremony with family first.

Don't make the ceremony something you just stick in somewhere. It's the whole reason you are celebrating. It certainly can be short and sweet, and does not need to be traditional or religious if you don't want it to be. I find it best to have everyone as sober as possible for this and then everyone can let their hair down after.

Graduation is the end of something vs a wedding being the beginning of a life long commitment, so it's in no way the same thing.

Honestly, it I was a guest and you treated your ceremony (and vows) as a throwaway moment, I'd question why you bothered to have a wedding and get married instead of just throwing a party. There's nothing that says you need a big hour-long ceremony or an aisle or anything like that, but there is a certain dignity to a marriage ceremony. You are making vows to one another in order to have your relationship legally recognized, which is a privilege lots of people have had to fight for. It deserves respect.

Also, you can't skip having an officiant in most states if you want to be legally married.

At that point I would just go to the courthouse before the reception, tie the knot, then go party with my family.

FH would love this idea. If anyone has seen Parks & Rec, April and Andy's wedding is pretty much his idea of perfection. A quick note, our officiant was adamant that it be at least 15 minutes long from start (of processional) to finish. He said people come to see you get married and stay for the party and if it's too short guests will feel "cheated," so to speak. Now, we have mostly out of town guests so that may have been a factor in his comments but just wanted to give you a heads up.

You can have an officiant come to the reception site and can even do the ceremony in the same room as the reception.

Most of the planning/logistics and expense involve the reception -- not the ceremony.

The wedding ceremony is the whole reason for having the wedding reception.

I would not recommend a cocktail 'hour' before the ceremony, because it is then difficult to gather everyone and get their attention. Certainly, each guest could be handed a beverage as they arrive -- but then quickly get to the ceremony portion of the event.

The logistics of the ceremony can be a lot simpler than you may think. What about hosting it at the reception venue? I've been to several weddings like this and ours will be, too. Some of our friends went the DIY route where family/wedding party helped convert the room over while others had venues that provided staff to do this. One of the DIY spaces we attended a wedding in had us seated at the dinner tables for the ceremony and the conversion happened after dinner for dancing. At our venue, though, there is staff to convert the room for us while our guests move to the cocktail area. I would talk to your reception venue to see what your options are. If you do forgo the wedding ceremony be sure that it's clear that you are inviting guests to a celebration of your marriage and not your wedding. Guests may feel put off to find out upon arrival that its not a wedding. An out of town guest may not mind throwing down several hundred dollars to witness your marriage and celebrate with you but might feel misled and would not have paid the money to travel just to attend a party. It might feel the same to you but for guests there is a difference. The wedding is the ceremony, the reception is the celebration.

The thought to just combine the ceremony and reception entered my head after doing a ton of venue research and realizing my ceremony might have to be in a different location than my reception. Which I would hate to do to guests. All that driving and parking and Google Mapping. I should note that I feel defeated pretty easily and this whole planning thing is really rocking my anxiety issues. Right now I'm feeling "eff the ceremony".

FH and I will keep our ceremony shorter and sweet (he's not a formal person)- but I wouldn't want to skip that part- thats the whole point... it's where we become husband and wife so it's pretty important. That's what I'm looking forward to most as I plan.

Please don't feel defeated yet! But your ceremony is literally the only part of the day that must happen for you to be married (unless you do the courthouse before and tell your guests this is just the celebration part)

There's nothing wrong with having a ceremony with guests seated at dinner tables at your reception venue for the ceremony. They can come in to get a drink (you can serve apps too). DJ can play background music until the officiant comes up to the mic to ask everyone to take their seats. You, FS, and officiant (plus any wedding party members or parents you want to stand with you) can just walk in and stand on the dance floor. Say your vows, be pronounced as married, then DJ can start the music again and you two can be seated for dinner. This gives your ceremony its own moment without the things that are bothering you (like parking and driving to two places).

Same venue, low stress, and you still have a day that acknowledges the gravity of a marriage. You can do this!!

@MrsSki(ToBe) omg thank you. That's exactly what I was picturing but didn't trust myself on it. Much love, girl!