No formal wedding but no courthouse

One couple had arranged a reception at a coffeehouse. I think they arranged it on a sunday or other time not normally open. Another option could be to do the ceremony and reception in a reserved area at a park. Maybe an officiant can perform the ceremony at a wedding in someone's house and then go to a reception site afterwards. You might even get ideas for the ceremony site from an officiant. Some advice would be based on the amount of money you are okay spending for the event. I think this will be moved to the general planning area where more people will see your question.

Have cake and coffee and pizzas at the local park in a venue they own. There is a middle ground between the two styles and couples do it everyday. What is perfect for one couple will be a nightmare for another and vice versa, which is why so many styles of weddings and venues exist. You have to get on the same page and decide what you both want that you can afford without assistance. Your guests will be happy to attend whatever you choose without judgement if you are not going out of your way to create social inconveniences and awkwardness (the entire concept of etiquette). Difference in personal tastes is not a violation of etiquette or a reason to judge and not attend. Unfortunately Covid has made people believe that options are much more limited than they really are.

For what it’s worth, my SO and I had a big, expensive destination wedding with our friends and family, but it didn’t end up being a legal ceremony. So this week we did a courthouse wedding to make it legal, and the courthouse wedding was SO much more romantic! Don’t get me wrong, we had a blast at our destination wedding, but it really wasn’t romantic. It was more about making sure everything was going smoothly, making sure everything was running on time, making sure guests were having a good time, etc. Whereas the courthouse ceremony was just about US. We were much more relaxed and were able to just focus on each other. So I wouldn’t discount a courthouse ceremony. Having your families and your daughter there to witness your vows, then going out for a fancy dinner and some drinks could be a perfect compromise! You could still wear the dress, have a photographer, and celebrate with your nearest and dearest; without breaking the bank!

A “real” wedding is any where a marriage takes place. It can be big, small, or in a courthouse. Any of these can be as romantic as your imagination or attitude allows. With a guest list of 40 there are countless options in between eloping and a big wedding. You just have to decide what your priorities and budget are.

I’ve seen really lovely old homes that you can rent out. You get married in the lovely grand foyer with just your few witnesses around, then have a catered meal. Or find a restaurant with some patio space to do a brief ceremony and then a private room for a nice meal. It doesn’t have to be fancy to be lovely and meaningful.