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Super March 2010

No gifts please

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3.6.10Bride, on November 6, 2009 at 12:19 PM

Posted in Planning 25

My fiance thinks it's very important to let people know that we're not expecting gifts at our wedding (because it's a second marriage for us both). I, however, am very uncomfortable with saying this directly as I am from the school of thought that equates putting "no gifts please" right up there on the tackiness level with including registry info on an invite. Also, I think it's sorta odd to tell people not to give you a gift. I mean, I'm not expecting them, and I wouldn't think less of someone for not giving us a gift, but if someone wants to give us a wedding gift, I think it's weird to tell them that we don't want their gift. Any comments or suggestions on how to handle this?

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25 Comments

Just Said Yes June 2010
cherine · on November 11, 2009 at 3:38 PM
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You can put "your presence is out present"... but hey your paying for the plate you should def be receiving some sort of gift at least to cover their plate!
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Just Said Yes March 2010
Brenda · on November 11, 2009 at 4:42 PM
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We're an older couple (both over 40), but this is our first marriage (we've been together over 10 years). We don't expect any gifts and have spread the word by: (a) our website; (b) directly to a few family and friends via phone, email or over dinner; and (c) indirectly through family and friends. I vary the message by saying, "may your presence be your only gift to us," or "how many dishes do we need?!" Also, I do mention something about the economy being bad and that spending money to come see us is all we want, but if they would like to be generous, we ask that they donate to the charity of their choosing. We then say that we don't even want to impose and select the charities for them. I kind of expect some people will still give us something, but that's up to them. I just hope it's not more dishes ;-)
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Master September 2010
Mrs. Carmen · on November 11, 2009 at 4:47 PM
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Personally, I just wouldn't register or say anything about it. I agree that if someone asks directly, you could always tell them that their attendance is enough. But even then, some people will still get you gifts, I'm sure.
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Just Said Yes November 2010
LaineyRo · on November 12, 2009 at 12:02 PM
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Instead of writing "no gifts please on the invite," you can contact a charity of your choice and they will usually provide a card insert to go with your invitations that will say something to the effect: In lieu of gifts, you can make a donation to the following charity... and then they provide a weblink, phone number, etc...in your name/wedding. We are chosing St. Jude's Children's Cancer Research :o) Then people get to "give a gift" and you are doing a great thing for whatever charity you pick!
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Master December 2009
JJ · on November 12, 2009 at 6:13 PM
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On your wedding website or through word of mouth should do it. a lot of ppl will ask and you should just tell them that their presence is gift enough for you both........
believe me, if they can afford it and really want to, you will still get a gift...but most likely you WON'T get a gift then because honestly this economy is hurting a lot of people, even if they won't admit it publicly..........
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