No-kid Rule Is Upsetting Too Many People

View Quoted Comment Also, it’s standard in our circle to have adult only weddings. Our friends enjoy steakhouse and city life, this is part of it to them, and they appreciate why an adults only wedding is appropriate.

View Quoted Comment I find it quite odd that of the 100+ comments on here, only you two have mentioned it being an issue. Again, if I was to invite guests such as yourselves, I would actually be quite relieved if you declined the invitation because I honestly wouldn’t want those types of personalities around me on my wedding day, or in my personal life for that. You think it’s unfair for people to not want others kids around them for events, but I think it’s unfair that you think it’s okay for your children, or children in general, to be at everything when sometimes adults just want adult time (ESPECIALLY those without children). We’ll just have to agree to disagree 🤷🏼‍♀️

View Quoted Comment Are you paying for the entire thing out of your own pockets? No help from anyone else whatsoever? You have kids, so it would make sense for you to want to make YOUR wedding a child-friendly affair. We don’t have any and are paying 100% for everything so paying full price for children at a night time event with an open bar and a crowd of 95% who are kid-free or looking forward to an adult night, makes zero sense to us. And that’s our preference.. point blank period. A quiet ceremony and carefree rowdy reception > kids crying, running around, playing on their phones, not eating their $150 meal, playing under tables, possibly running off into the woods at night time.

View Quoted Comment I noticed some people on the thread like to spark an argument when you disagree and then cry that their offended when you respond logically. Clearly they don’t have a social life and need a hug. Intelligent people will understand but some may decline if they can’t find a sitter. Kid Free sounds like an amazing idea. I wish I thought of it for mine. Lol

People with kids kill me when they act like they can't adult without them! Unreal! You said it right, drinking, dressing up, and having a drama-free night. . . Is no longer understood by them.


Wow! I feel for you honey.
And yes, I do have a kid. But I am an individual with an identity that extends beyond the word Mom!
Best of Luck Honey!

It may be hard to find someone to watch kids, or they want them their to make memories as well. But it’s your day. You make they rules

View Quoted Comment You don't think it's in poor taste to tell people that only well behaved children are allowed? Generally, children don't have the same coping mechanisms and such as adults. They feel how they feel when they feel it and don't have the skills to keep it in all of the time. Heck, some adults don't have those skills either.


You can't invite some and not others. If your kid is a terror or you think they might be having a bad day..theyre not welcome to our wedding. That's in poor taste.

View Quoted Comment Yes, we are paying for everything ourselves. That's fine, that's your right....but don't get pissed when people don't come because their kids aren't welcome. I mean... Just like you are entitled to your wedding rules, they are entitled to their own decisions as well. Just like I think its selfish to not allow children to attend, you can think it's selfish for them not to come because of it. It's a 2 way street

I'm leaning in the same direction and I don't care how people take it! We're considering 13 and up but my wedding isn't until 1/2/2021. Save-the-dates will go out soon with out final decision. Don't feel bad - it's your day - not family day!

Of course not! It's your day! I think your family is being difficult because they don't want to do the work to find a sitter. And if the children are as misbehaved as that, you DEF don't need them there.

Stick to your guns. This is you and your FH’s day, and you are allowed to celebrate however you choose. I really don’t understand why people get so bent out of shape about children not being allowed at weddings. If I were a parent, I’d be jumping at the excuse to get dressed up and have a kid-free night out! The people who are most offended by no children policies at weddings fail to realize that 90% of the time, the kids don’t even want to be there and they get bored quickly. Plus, the catering cost per person is usually the same whether you’re feeding all adults or dozens of kids. Not all catering companies provide discounted menu options for kids, and parents fail to consider that not everyone wants to spend $200 on a meal that their child probably won’t like or eat. I’ve only been to 2 weddings that were child-free, but they were great. I’m not saying weddings with lots of kids running around aren’t adorable and enjoyable for the most part, but it was nice sitting through an entire ceremony without someone screaming unexpectedly, and not having to worry about small children being underfoot of a lot of potentially drunk adults at the reception. Bottom line, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about your decision. If your relatives want to travel all the way to the location you’re getting married in, just to sit in a hotel room with their kids, then let them pout and waste their money.

Simple answer, it is your wedding, your day, your rules, you rule the day for one day. If they dont like it

View Quoted Comment Yes everyone is entitled to opinions. We all have diffrent views. You have a point

No, you’re not horrible. I know many people opt to have a no children allowed wedding because they plan on letting loose for the reception. Maybe try re explaining to them that this is meant to be more like an adults night out event.

Is it within your budget to hire sitters to watch the children during your ceremony and reception in a separate location (like a separate hotel room at or near your venue)? I've been to a couple of weddings where the bride and groom were generous enough to offer free child sitting for couples who traveled with kids. (In fact, once more details and RSVPs are settled, we will probably search for 2 sitters to watch kids during our reception because we want it to be adults only as well)

If it's not in your budget, our coordinator said that what she's done previously is arrange a sitter and the cost is split between all the families with kids. This seems fair and equitable.

You are NOT horrible people. This is your wedding. You are paying for this, not your complaining family members. If you want an adult only occasion, that's what you should have!! They are not "entitled" to attend the type of wedding they prefer when it's not their own wedding!

As a parent of an adult who is autistic, I would never expose him, us and them to his unpredictable behavior in a ceremonial event NOR did I ever bring my young children to similar events in the past. No one wants to look back at their wedding video to hear a mental breakdown of a child that some parent decided to bring. The parents get nothing out of the ceremony, it’s unfair to the child, it’s annoying to the people around them, and it’s definitely unfair to the couple who spends hours and monies creating a magical and memorable 20 minutes. A good rule is: If your child, autistic or not, can NOT be reasoned with or understand the importance of staying still and quite, please don’t expose him to this task. It’s unfair to him and to the rest of the attendees while you “shhhh” the whole time. There is NO enjoyment in this entire situation by you and your child battling to be still and to stay quite. Opt out of the wedding and hit the reception, where you and your child can actually enjoy yourselves in making fun memories together. I promise you, ALL will silently thank you, including your child

"We’ve made this very clear from the beginning but are still receiving backlash and I even have close family saying “well you guys just be selfish and I’ll stay at the hotel with them since they’re not welcome”.. implying they’d rather miss my wedding then go 5 hours without their grandson/great niece and nephew."

If he's not going to the wedding because his children aren't invited, what does he need a hotel room for? Nice try at manipulation. You don't need a hotel room for an event you have no intention of attending. Stay home.

Not at all! It's your day so you do you. My husband and I aren't having children at our reception either. We like to drink and dance and have fun and I want everyone to be able to enjoy the evening without worrying about kids running around or having meltdowns. Most of our friends are child-free and if family members don't want to come if they can't bring kids then that's their choice.

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You are my favorite kind of parent! Kudos!

Nope. It's unfortunate your family is that kid-centric but it's your day and your choice. I mean it sounds like the guests have plenty of notice to make childcare arrangements; it shouldn't be that difficult.