No-kid Rule Is Upsetting Too Many People

It's your wedding you don't want any kids that's the end of it if they can understand that that you don't want to pay $60 to feed their children in to have them run around like crazy at your wedding then they don't need to be there either those that are giving you backlash really don't want to share in your wedding day they wanted to be there day and they shouldn't be able to come. just my opinion we're not having kids at my wedding either and those that are upset about it don't need to come I can go out to dinner with them some other night to celebrate my wedding and they can pay. Stand your ground sister!!

Hi!
No you are NOT horrible. This day is about you and your future husbands desires.

While kids are nice to include and it can be fun, it can also be stressful AF! Especially if members of the wedding party have small humans they will want to take care of.
I am also doing a child free, minus the Ring Security & Flower Fairy 3yo, wedding. I have managed to NOT be the “bad guy” because we are getting married at a Casino. This has become a destination for the majority of people, but the ring security and his grandmom/parents/uncle and several cousins as well as all my family- minus my dad and stepmom, live in the area 30min-2hrs away from Casino, and so a lot of the people are making it into a romantic weekend alone with their spouse.
I’ve had 2 people B!t@h me out. One is a fellow lawyer, whom I know and like, of my FH- now I’ve never met his wife or two under 7 kids. And I don’t want to have the kids there. So I have been firm in it. 1) It’s been a year and a half of notice to figure something out for 48-72hrs &2) It’s at a CASINO- NO you can’t bring them. The other is a family member of FH who’s got 3 demon kids 15-12 and I wouldn’t wish that on ANYONE( tbh: they are in part why I decided NOT to have kids at the wedding! And the fact we have a list of 220ppl NOT counting kids. If we added in kids we would be close to 375!😳🤯)
I am soo sorry this is happening. Maybe tell them that you want a romantic weekend for everyone.... Best of Luck

Not horrible at all! We're making ours kid-free as well, in fact my sister & MOH suggested it. She hardly ever has an excuse to get a sitter and go anywhere with just her husband. Some parents will appreciate the opportunity to enjoy an adults only event for a few hours, others won't. Personally, I don't care who decides not to come because they can't bring their kids, I'd rather everyone who does come be able to relax and enjoy themselves. Don't let their rudeness impede your enjoyment of your big day!

You're not the bad guys here! Idk why people feel so entitled when attending someone else's wedding. I'm also doing no kids, and I'm expecting backlash as well. But I'm not about to pay $50-$100 per child. The fact that they procreated is not my financial problem #loveyameanit
Stand your ground, girl. Maybe enlist your mom to help put some sense in people's heads?.

No, you’re not bad people. In fact, if we weren’t having a destination wedding, I would have been more hardcore about the no kids rule. But we have some close friends and family who would not have been able to come if we banned the kids. Whatever. With that said, I’m not going to be making my wedding any more kid friendly though. So if they don’t want their kids listening to “Back That A** Up” at my New Orleans rager of a wedding, it is not my problem to adapt to that standard.

My fiancé and I are the same. We don’t have kids of our own and we don’t want kids at our wedding. I agree completely that it’s your day and your rules. If you don’t want children there, then too bad for the people who are upset. They can leave their children with a sitter for a few hours.

I have 2 kids of my own they are going to be our ring bearers and after dinner they are leaving with a sitter. We aren’t allowing kids at our wedding either. It’s your choice if they can’t go without their kids for just a few hours that’s on them they will miss out and probably regret it.

I decided to not have children at our wedding and I really regret it. It was the happiest celebration of my life. I wish I would have let everyone who wanted to share in our joy be there.

They are the ones being selfish! It is your day and no one should ask any questions or tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. It is not about their children it is about you and your fiancé! I’m beginning to have a similar experience as some people with children make their disappointment known. Others though are very happy to not have to worry about their children for a night! Especially since we are providing babysitters at the hotel.

I'm torn on this. We tend to view couples as a social unit, but not their children. It seems wrong to consider spouses as unseperable but kids can be ignored without issue. That said, anyone can have a no kids policy, but families can react as though you ignored someone's spouse and choose not attend. After you make your choice, they get to make theirs. I have 2 sons and I'd not attend. They are my family and equally important to me as my spouse. However, if you left it open I'd try hard to find a sitter. One way, I'd be choosing a day out without the kids - the other they are unwelcome and bandished.

And people like to call OUR generation entitled?!? It’s the boomers/grandparents who can’t be told no. And then they pull out the “respect your elders” crap. They clearly care more about a kid who won’t remember the day and would rather disappoint you. They can stay home if they want.

Kelli,

You guys aren't horrible for wanting to have a kid-free wedding. We are also doing a kid free wedding and I'm pretty sure that some people are mad but we haven't had anyone come out and say it. I don't have many kids on my side of the family, however my fiancé side of the family does. We hosted Christmas dinner last year and that experience pretty much solidified our decision to have no kids attend. Between the unexpected guest and children that showed up to our door we were just over it. I don't want to give out the death stare at my wedding nor do I want to be bothered with the "are you going to control your child" thoughts as I watch them reek havoc. We love the babies but just for that day we would prefer for them to stay home, or with a relative, nanny or friend.

No! My fiance and I are also having a no children rule. The only exception is his nieces who will be the flower girls. I totally agree with you about them being disruptive. Especially when you aren't used to the behavior. I think whoever is refusing to come to your wedding because they cant bring their kids is being petty and disrespectful to your wishes.

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I have beef with parents who think their special snowflake children should be allowed everywhere and do everything.

View Quoted Comment This is a very good perspective and it gives a lot of insight to the conversation. I don’t think bride intend to make a negative stigma about it. To me, it’s like I’m having a girls night leave you partner at home, would you not come? Sisters date? Spa date? Birthday party of a best friend but she only has room for one. Would you feel offended because your partner can’t come and not attend any? Some people love to have an adult only event and especially when the kiddos stress them out. So it’s perfectly fine to not attend. Just don’t feel negative about the requirements

It's your day, nothing wrong with having it your way. I am inviting kids but people know to walk that kid out if needed. They are being unsupportive and should give you just this one day!

View Quoted Comment I think weddings are different. Everyone we love will be there just not if you're little or inconvenient. We simply don't talk about our extended loved ones that way or what immediate family members we can disregard in any other instance. They are a family unit and eventually many brides on here will have families of their own. It's just drama. While bridesshould have the day they want others are allowed to refuse to attend. But I think we should see people as families, not just couples.

View Quoted Comment Yes, that what a number bride mentioned about a wedding means family and a celebration of unity. But you have to remember that’s a personal opinion. To me a wedding is like a NYE party. Like I’m talking food, games, dancing, and drinking. A party of a lifetime. Many brides have that view and are uncomfortable partying with children, even their own children. Just a perspective on the other side. Now marriage means something entirely different than a wedding. However I personally chose to allow children bc I wanted everyone there to experience it. But I understand why they wouldn’t want to party with kids.

I’m so glad I came across this as it’s an issue for me as well. If people don’t like it they don’t need to be there. Most weddings are planned with enough notice for people to find someone to watch their kids for a night or weekend. If they can’t do that they don’t care enough to be there and they don’t need to come. Most of us waited a long time for this to happen and deserve to set some ground rules. Congrats to all of you lovely ladies on here btw!

View Quoted Comment Wish they had a “like “ feature on here! Bc literally my venue is a rooftop bar/ lounge and is $70 a Child adding almost $2k to our big day to pay for kids. No thank you! This response deserves all the likes honestly LOL