No kids wedding drama

I love kids, I'm a Sunday school teacher for toddlers, and hopefully FH and I are blessed with our own.

I still don't want kids at our wedding. I like to think that parents are still individuals and that just because I don't want someones kids there, doesn't mean I don't want the individual there.

I have family and friends traveling 500 miles for the wedding, if they choose not to come because their children are not invited, then that is their choice.

FH and I made the decision not to have kids (other than our 3 teenagers) at our wedding. It's not that we don't adore our family and friend's kids, but we don't want to pay for them to pick at the food and we want our guests to have a reason to get a sitter and have fun!

@Salis I am not saying that anyone has to accept my view. The last time I checked this was a forum for opinions. I have the right to my opinion same as anyone else.

I personally wouldn't exclude kids.

@Swin I have been to well over a 100 weddings in my lifetime and trust me that is typically the case. As far as being away from my kids I have a huge family there isn't any reason to leave my kids with anyone else.

@Lacie I am properly hosting my guests as well. I have 180 guests (including kids). I will have food, alcohol, dancing, photo booth, candy buffet. But I will also have a kids area with things for all ages.

Me saying that I wouldn't exclude kids is no different than anyone else making the choice to exclude kids.

It's not the case. I don't trust you.

Also who cares what you choose. No one. But you came in making everyone else feel like bitches. Soooo yeah. No. Stop.

"I guess being a mother makes a difference it's not about getting drunk and acting a fool."

^^^ That is not an opinion. That is very thinly veiled judgement.

@futureabbey its absolutely fine to have your own personal opinions on the matter however whats not fine is to judge others for not wanting children at their wedding. As many have said before if its an adult affair then there is no room for kids running around and bumping into people. Saying that someone wouldnt know that because they arent a mother is quite rude and not needed. And for the record i dont sorround myself with people that go to weddings to act drunk and like fools.

Abbey - funny how your opinion sounds like people who choose to not invite children to their wedding don't like children. You must not have considered that many of us absolutely love and adore children, yet inviting them would add an extra 50-ish people to a guest list.

I'm kinda hoping a child at your wedding runs into the cake table and knocks it over before you get to cut it. But that's just my opinion.

Many Weddings are adult only. But you are not alone in these responses. Most people just think about about this in their head though and don't send text messages. Funny people find sitters when they really "want to". I would keep quiet for now, she may " figure it out".

@futureabbey I bet you're fun at parties...

Lacie - that was a great response! It's sad you even had to deal with that, but you and DH handled it like champs.

What are you talking about? You did. You judged. The "ignorant" comments were making the assumption that those that are having a kid free wedding aren't parents and that the only reason a woman would want to celebrate is because someone wants to act a fool.

Murica.

Freedom of Speech means the gov't can't censor you; it doesn't not mean you can be judgmental (blatantly or passively) towards other people and not get called out for it.

FutureAbbey, you wrote, "I am a mom and I love kids so I am thrilled that there will be tons of kids at my wedding." I am a mom and a grandmother, and I love kids, but I am not thrilled when there are tons of them at weddings. You also wrote, "I guess being a mother makes a difference it's not about getting drunk and acting a fool." The implication, it seems, is that because you are having tons of kids at your wedding, you are a responsible mother while the rest of us, who prefer adults populating adult affairs, are drunken idiots. That's quite a judgment to make. If you want kids at your wedding, that's fine. We could make less than flattering assumptions about your wedding based on the amount of children you're having in attendance, but we won't. However, you went right past the issue of weddings and insulted the character of women who don't want children at their weddings.

My children are 32 and 34. The amount of weddings I've been to since the year my daughter was born, 1983, is incalculable. I never assumed my children were invited to any of those weddings, and even if they were, I still would have found child care. You believe children belong at weddings; I don't believe they belong at weddings. Besides being bored (and in the age of technology, a table with coloring books isn't going to keep them all that interested), they are distracting both in their fidgeting and the noise they tend to make at the ceremony (and, for young children, sitting still for a half an hour or more while they have no idea what's being said, is really difficult for them), they run around everywhere, crash into people (and serving staff) both on the dance floor and off, are subjected to pounding music, flashing lights, adult conversation, and they have no issues touching food on trays at cocktail hour and then putting it back. They are about as interested in adult weddings as we are in a child's themed birthday party. None of those issues exist because moms are drunk and acting like fools. Those issues happen because children are children.

So, please...let's just agree that you want kids around, and many others don't. That doesn't make you a better mother than anyone.

Obviously. Obviously it is the mass of strangers that understood and read your comments for what they were that is the problem.

I love my child. But I also respect the fact that some people won't want him at their wedding. Idk how it's logical to conclude that people who want kid free weddings don't have kids/don't want kids.

There are plenty of people on this forum who have said that their sons/daughters will be their FGs/RBs...and will promptly be escorted to a different room in the venue with a babysitter so they can have an adult reception.

This is a PERFECT response. I will have this issue with one of my cousins, I already know it. You handled this well

@OP, I think your response was graceful and perfect! Keep standing your ground and have the wedding you and your FH want

Funny how we're all whiny here on WW, but I only see one person upset here about getting called out.

Thank you so much for this. you just don't even understand. I have a history of sarcasm and a very "who cares" attitude. My FH really wants to keep the peace so I was trying to figure out what to say when this comes up to still have family and friends. Well I will mirror this exactly!

Hope you have a phenomenal wedding day!

"I see that this site is not for honest people and you have to agree with the crowd or everyone gets all upset and whines about it."

FutureAbbey, you were not simply disagreeing with people here. You made ignorant assumptions about mothers that aren't inviting children to their weddings.

Big difference.