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No kids

Sarah, on April 7, 2021 at 10:21 PM Posted in Planning 0 9

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I have a question about no kids at weddings.. I have 2 kids myself. At the wedding eldest will be over 4. Youngest will be 18months. Now tricky situation my boys haven't ever really been the centre of attention. My youngest first 3 months of his life was hard because my sister was dying of cancer. I would love our wedding day to not just be about me and my.partner but about our boys and them having their moment with everyone. Now here comes a long one...
I have two nephews but honestly they are really hard work, i have been to a wedding where the MOH two year old was screaming throughout alot of the day. Like full on screaming. That's just put me off having kids there apart from my own.
Am I unreasonable to request no kids under a certain age and just have it as my boys in the ceremony so they can have their moment and not get distracted by other kids?
But now with my nephews, I know I have them in my life since my sisters passed, but they really are full on, sometimes aren't great with my boys, quite controlling of my eldest whos very easy going. So I just worry they will do their normal things with him and distract him. Also I want my boys to have a bit of the spotlight which they never get. The attention on them for a change. I hope that makes sense. My family I dont think will react well to this, but if I have them, I have to have other kids as my partner has neices and nephews. (He's more than happy for them not to attend and I believe the parents will be fine) I just feel I'm in a bit of a pickle and guess I just want to hear if anyone else has been in a similar situation. Thanks sorry for the long post.

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Jasmine S., on April 8, 2021 at 8:30 AM

Expert March 2023
Catherine · on April 7, 2021 at 10:46 PM
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I haven’t been in this situation before but I totally support your wedding just being about you and your partner and your sons! It’s a day for you and your family! That makes perfect sense. It’s not a bad for babysitting other kids and other members of your family and hopefully those older members will understand that this special day is just about you and your partner and your two little boys and starting your family together!
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VIP May 2015
KiwiDerbyBride · on April 7, 2021 at 11:15 PM
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You can absolutely have your two kids and no others. If that’s what you want, that’s what you should do
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VIP June 2019
Hanna · on April 7, 2021 at 11:34 PM
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It's totally fine to have your kids only and make a blanket no-kids rule for all other children. The children of the bride and groom are definitely an exception
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on April 7, 2021 at 11:42 PM
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I agree with others. However, I want to clarify, are you now the caretaker of your sister's children? If you are now their legal guardian, then that throws a little wrinkle in the situation because it can make them feel as less important than your biological children. If you are their legal guardian, I think they would still fall under the "only my kids" exception since they're under your care, while your other nieces and nephews are not.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on April 7, 2021 at 11:55 PM
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Be aware that many people will be upset if you have some kids and not allowing others. That hurt/offense is completely valid and understandable. Either allow all children with a babysitter on site or none at all..meaning zero children with no exceptions.
For that reason, it's common to have cutoff at 18 rather than something random below that.
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VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on April 8, 2021 at 12:08 AM
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I think the best solution for this is just to have a blanket ‘no kids’ rule for your wedding (other than your own). You will find that you will have to do more explaining and may incidentally offend more people if you are selective in whose kids attend, or if you have a set age limit (unless it was something like 16 and over in which case they aren’t little kids anymore).
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Sarah · on April 8, 2021 at 12:30 AM
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Hey Hannah.
No they are not in my care. They are with their Dad. Valid point thank you. Luckily they are in care of their father
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on April 8, 2021 at 12:33 AM
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Gotcha. Then I don't think anyone would bat an eye if your children were the only ones in attendance. And honestly, if they do, that's their problem because it's obviously a big moment for them too.
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VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on April 8, 2021 at 8:30 AM
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It's common for the only children at a wedding to be the couple's children, so I think you can do that if you choose. However, I wouldn't worry about making your sons the "center of attention" or letting them "have their moment." They are too little to remember this day or even know what's going on. It might even be stressful for them, surrounded by a bunch of adult strangers.
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