No one has time for a bachelorette party......

Can you just pick a night that works for the majority? I know it sucks when people are left out, but a lot of the time I think it’s unrealistic to pick a date that can work for a bunch of people with no issues arising.

View Quoted Comment We tried that.. and it was big deal to have someone left out.. and one night if we're to do it it would 9nly be myself and my moh.. so oh well 🤷‍♀️

Mine is supposed to be this weekend. No plans have been made. I've asked about 4-5 people to come. One said she'd come, the rest are all busy. It's not THAT big of a deal, but I want the whole wedding experience. You shouldn't have to suffer because the worry of making one person mad. Just say "hey, I want my bachelorette party to be on this day because it works best for most. I understand if you're not able to come, but I wanted to celebrate with those who have asked." See if anyone wants to plan the evening, if not, at least go to dinner with some friends. We'll probably do dinner and bowling or something low key.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this girl! I tend to be a planner so I set a date that I figured would work (day before my shower, since everyone will be in town). My MOH asked what I wanted to do and I was like “brunch & wine tour” and that’s what we’re doing. Even though the bachelorette is usually planned by bridesmaids some people might be waiting for another girl to take charge and start planning. Maybe try being like “here’s what I wanna do, and here’s when we’re gonna do it” and hopefully then they’ll get to putting together all the details. I know a lot of people say that the bridesmaids only jobs are to buy a dress and show up to the wedding. And yes we’re all busy. But if a friend asks me to be in her wedding that’s a huge honor and I’d do whatever I can to make her wedding day and pre-wedding festivities special. That’s what every girl deserves. Good luck, hope everything works out!

View Quoted Comment It's not really suffering if it doesn't happen.. I didn't care to have one. I would like to go out and have some fun but they are not putting any effort into it. So I am suppose to out by myself.. that sounds depressing.

View Quoted Comment Right.. I hope things change for the better. But i also understand that they have a life going on outside of wedding planning stuff.. I also like having it planned due to having 3 kids. I want to figure it out so I can find someone to watch my kids if that is needed.. my FH works every other weekend so I know he will watch our kids for me but it's not always an option.

That’s the case with any type of planning... Everybody can’t make everything. So select a Saturday when most can be there and have a good time!

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If you don't care to have one then what's the big deal? Even if you just go "out and have some fun" that's still usually considered a bachelorette party. So, are you mad because they haven't planned a party or not? Be upfront with them if you want to go do something - if you don't, then don't say anything and go out by yourself.

View Quoted Comment I'm annoyed that they have no effort towards it but when some of them could do it except for one of them it's a big deal about going with out one of them.. so it seems like it will be a problem regardless of what happens

View Quoted Comment And it also just seems easier and no one's feelings will be hurt if we just dont have one.

I feel how you feel Cynthia. I'm having a lot of drama within my bridal party including a MOH who decided she wanted to step down and be a bridesmaid. It would hurt me if we couldn't organize a bachelorette party.

Of course no one's feelings will be hurt if you don't have one because it's not for them, it's for you. Wedding planning made me see how selfish people can be. Also consider other extenuating factors like finances and time off from work.


I suggest having a bachelorette party with or without them. Include your family members (sisters, girl cousins, maybe even mother) or Co workers that you feel comfortable with that won't gossip about how drunk you were. Even if you have to plan it and I know it sucks but you want the experience and you should have it by any means necessary. Plan it, invite your bridal party either they show or they don't.

My MOH has been planning mine since December. At the last minute none of the bridesmaids were coming. So she decided to reschedule it for another weekend and invite friends of mine instead since the bridesmaids weren’t trying to be part of it. It sucks but she tried to get it together

View Quoted Comment I dont ask much of them.. I honestly never talk to them about anything wedding.. until now.. and it's a head ache. So I'm just talking a break from talking about it with them.

I have to admit, this makes me thankful for not having a BP. It removes a huge chunk not to think about. And during the wedding planning, my girls simply get to be my girls!!! However, even with my first wedding, there was no drama. So it’s interesting to read about all of the BM issues on here. 😬 Hope it all works out!

View Quoted Comment I didn't want a bridal party either! But my FH said it was rude to not do one. I dont have close friends. It's all family in my bridal party

View Quoted Comment Oh that sucks! I’m so sorry that your FH thought it would be rude. And I was wondering if your BMs were your good friends or not. I can usually tell when the BMs know each other and are close friends or not. It makes huge difference. My (first wedding) BMs and I are “Fab 4”... we are the “Quads”. Lol. But, as mentioned, I’m not having a BP this time. So they’ll get a wrist corsage and be special guests.

I definitely know how you feel. My bridal party is scattered long distance. 3 of them live close and took me out a few weeks ago for a “bachelorette day”. One of them was 34 weeks pregnant, the other had just organized a wedding the night before (event planner), and the other one had no part in the planning. They took me to lunch and out for a drink. It was super sweet of them to plan something for me, but also a little sad that more girls weren’t there, and that it was small. 98% of me was so happy they thought of me and I love them for doing that, but 2% of me couldn’t help but be slightly let down. It’s hard but I just remind myself that we will all have so much fun the wedding weekend.
Even if it’s something small with a few girls, still do something if you want to. It’s normal to feel slightly let down in these circumstances, but don’t focus on that. Focus on what you WILL be able to do, not the things that you won’t.

View Quoted Comment I think this is really good advise. My mom always said one monkey don't stop no show. Lol. Usually referring to me bc l never wanted to be a part of anything. Please don't worry about the ones that may be hurt they can't attend. If they are invited they can't be upset that they had other plans. Your only going to do this once so just go and enjoy yourself. All of them..a few..or just family. Report back sis

That stinks! It is interesting how it is more important for your friends to "all be there" vs. someone not being able to come and then you not getting to have any kind of night out. I'd take a look at a time when most of them could make it and go ahead and plan it anyway. Invite other friends, family, whatever. The people who cannot make it should not be able to stand in your way of having a night out.

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Sexypoodle, my thoughts exact. No BP means less disappointment. MY FH and I are doing a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. We are throwing a tailgate party at Miller Park in the lot and then heading in for the Cubs/Brewers game. Maybe you guys can do that or do a joint bus and take it to a concert or ball game or bowling.... or even do a bar crawl.